God's News Ticker

Biblical Geological Time Line

By Ezekiel Bathfire, Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance

As a member of Landover Christian University, it is part of my job to correct “scientific texts so-called”, into Biblical History.

“Scientific” texts, so-called, often make unashamed references to ludicrously larger lengths of time, “Eras”, which are then subdivide into “Periods” because of the liberal atheist agenda. All these “Eras” and Periods have unnecessarily complex names – the only reason for this is so that “Scientists” can stop you from knowing them, and thus not “joining their club” and laugh at you when you don’t know them.

(You can tell they are all the names are bogus – the stupid scientists even managed to name one after a movie: “The Jurassic” Period.)

It is therefore with great pleasure that I present the following True Christian Conversion guide to the Eras and Periods of God’s Creation:

Name:  Atheist time.jpg
Views: 41
Size:  338.5 KB

Ezekiel Bathfire (31-05-2016 05:45 PM): And this brings me on to an article in “Science Daily” in which you can practice conversion. The article is entitled “New evidence connects dung beetle evolution to dinosaurs” ...
Elmer G. White (01-06-2016 04:52 AM): Dear Pastor, Looking at the Table it occurred to me that it is also the most parsimonious solution to the enigma of Geological Time. And based on the Occam's razor, upon which all philosophy of science ...
WilliamJenningsBryan (01-06-2016 08:44 AM): In any Bible (KJV1611) class there is always some tedious and tiresome twit that starts asking just exactly what God did on any given day during the Creation in Genesis. Well now, there's your answer - ...
Bezukhov (01-06-2016 01:08 PM): Now that's something to think about. Maybe these Communist "Climate Scientists" are hoping that if they lower the Earth's temperature then that would lower the temperature in Hell, and then they won't ...
Show all 4 replies.