I had misplaced my car keys and having no way to leave the house as “Boy”, my faithful retainer and chauffeur had taken Mrs Bathfire to a meeting of the NAWASR (North American Women Against Syrian Refugees) I was idly considering “good will towards all men” as I was cleaning my guns, when I reached for a chip from the bowl.
The chip was salty – over salty – so after I had written a note to “Boy” my faithful retainer, instructing him to write an abusive letter to the manufacturers and another to my lawyer to see what damages I should be looking for, I opened the Bible to see how God would advise me. And Lo! And here is the amazing part – the book opened at Genesis 19 and my finger was upon
Ge:19:26: But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
Was this God Himself Who spoke to me? Or was it a mere coincidence that the fine, gold-tooled Moroccan leather bookmark were in that place?
I said a silent prayer admitting my shame at doubting The Lord God and attributing the episode to human frailty. I removed the bookmark and purposely (or so I thought, for The Lord Was with Me just as He was with The House of Joseph when they went off to slaughter Bethel in Judges:1:22) opened the New Testament to hear the Words of Jesus and…….
Luke 17, and my finger was upon verse 32:
Lu:17:32 Remember Lot’s wife.
Lu:17:33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
Now, as a good Christian, like you dear reader, I had remembered Lot’s wife and thus obeyed God. How could I forget – I was reading about her but a moment ago.
But is this not a miracle of the First Order? There was meaning here – a revelation had been made to me – a revelation of the Very Mind of God! And not only that! It showed that God and Jesus were really “in touch”!
And the revelation was… Well… that was the problem… what was it?…
I had already bothered God by making Him do a miracle, and it was clear that He had better things to do, because He had delegated the job to that New Testament part of Him that is Jesus. So, was I to hope that “The Holy Spirit” would be delegated by the Jesus part of God? Or was that hoping just too much?
I took the bowl of chips (there did not appear to be any more rogue chips) and went off to my Prayer Closet.
Deep in thought, several considerations came to mind:
1. Is it that Lot’s Wife disobeyed an order from the Lord? Well, this is the common belief, but a moment’s thought will tell you that this cannot be true: The whole party were told not to look back. Lot himself would have been at the head of the line. He was probably first aware that his wife looked back when that horrible and continuous whining of a wife stopped in mid-sentence. Now, when a woman shuts up for a moment, there is always those few seconds when the man wonders if he has gone stone deaf… and then what happens? Yes, that’s right, he looks round! IF HE LOOKS ROUND, HE LOOKS BACK! But Lot did not turn into a pillar of salt, did he? So that is no answer.
2. Was Jesus, via Lu:17:33, telling me that salt was bad for me and that, although by eating it, I was hoping not die of hunger, nevertheless, I was risking astronomical blood pressure and thus forfeiting the life He had given me? – Probably not – I’ve eaten plenty of chips and have never died.
3. Was The Lord of Hosts saying “Salt is more useful than a wife”? This would have been possible if Lot’s wife had been turned into several bags of salt, and a miraculous donkey had appeared – but that didn’t happen. I mean – a pillar of salt is not much good, is it?
4. Was The Son of God urging that I consider Lu:14:34 – Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned? – Does this mean that salt can be seasoned? If so – does this indicate that you can have “salt-seasoned” salt that has too much savour? Perhaps that is what we all have all of the time, or did I have “a new sort of salt”? Is this a marketing opportunity?
5. Was The Ruler of Heaven revealing that I should not “look back” to a lifetime of chips that were not over-salted? A metaphor for “troublesome times”?
6. Salt = Sodium Chloride = NaCl – an anagram of “Clan”. Is it a message that women should be allowed to become members of the KKK? … Or not… Why tell me? I let my membership lapse when Barry Goldwater died.
I considered what The Lord had done to Lot’s wife, and how, if He had not turned her into a pillar of salt, Lot’s daughters would not have had to rely upon being “beyond sin” as an excuse for what they did to that poor man in that cave. All my daughters are now married and never did anything like that – mind you, Mrs Bathfire hasn’t been turned into a pillar of salt either.
No! The message was deeper than that. I noted how salt figures heavily in the Old Testament, and gets only one mention in the NewTestament. Was a case of the Salvation of Mankind, and not his relationship to sodium chloride? I think that is what Jesus might have been saying in a round-about way… possibly…
There were no more chips left, so I went back downstairs and had a look in the refrigerator. I was still thinking “Why a pillar of salt? Why not gold, or bdellium, or manna, or …?” as my hand moved towards a tray of “rocky road” cupcakes… Dear Lord! I think you are ahead of me here! Yes! Lot was on a ROCKY ROAD to Zohar… (There was no “interstate” in those days – believe me, I’m a Biblical historian)
At this point, I was beginning to get annoyed. The Lord was testing me, but, of course, like Job, I still loved Him dearly! All these significant signs and yet the message was still obscured from me.
I ate the cupcakes but they provided no insight. Back on the couch, I thought and though until I fell asleep and in that sleep, I dreamed a dream, and I that dream I imagined myself as if I were walking in Paradise. It was warm and sunny, the trees were filled with birds singing, and small, non-threatening animals frolicked among the flowers and I felt serene and peaceful. More than this, I felt a presence – a definite, benevolent presence that was watching me. I had this urge to look who it was, but I felt that if I did, the presence would vanish.
Then, in the way that dreams do, I was inexplicably aware that whoever was following me was trying to attract my attention… without actually attracting my attention. I turned and there was Jesus pointing at something. I followed his perfect finger and then raised my eyes.
And he vanished – and I woke up suddenly! All was clear! I went back to the table where I had been cleaning my gun, and there – behind me – were my car keys!
That was the message! Jesus helped me, just as he can help anyone.
Nobar King (16-02-2017 03:58 AM): When you found the car keys, were they right where you had left them? ...
Ezekiel Bathfire (16-02-2017 03:47 PM): When you found the car keys, were they right where you had left them?Of course not - that is the first place I looked! They had moved - as had my car when I was eventually able to drive it. How and why ...
Cranky Old Man (16-02-2017 10:02 PM): My brother has one of those fancy French cars, that no longer requires a key. I am certain he will burn in Hell for all eternity for hating America. ...
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