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How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

I got a litter of kittens for my children a few months ago. They were awesome and brought my little girls much joy, such is the Grace of God. However, they have recently started becoming willful and mischievous. One of the even scratched one of my sons and pushed my little girl, Anabella, in the face. Not knowing what to do, I of course went to the premiere authority on animal handling: The King James Bible.

I start with the fact that, as we all know, God gave us dominion over all animals on the Earth:

Quote:
Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

This means we can do as we see fit to all animals, but it also means we must be stewards to them. Now, I had to find out what God wants me to do to Tinkebell, Snowball, and the rest of the “pretty kitties” as my girls call them.

I found answers in Exodus:

Quote:
Stone Animals Who Attack People
Exodus 21:28
If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned, and his flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit.

Stone Animals Who Push People
Exodus 21:32
If the ox shall push a manservant or a maidservant; he shall give unto their master thirty shekels of silver, and the ox shall be stoned.

So it is clear… If any animal I own attacks or even “pushes” someone else, I MUST kill it. Also of note is that I am at risk of being stoned to death if Mr. Tibbles were to get out of the house and “push” a neighbor:

Quote:
Stone Owners Of Animals Who Attack People
Exodus 21:29
But if the ox were wont to push with his horn in time past, and it hath been testified to his owner, and he hath not kept him in, but that he hath killed a man or a woman; the ox shall be stoned, and his owner also shall be put to death.

bible-stoning-to-death

I hope you can see that this make it a very urgent matter for me.

So it seems that Sweet Baby Jesus wants me to take Mrs. Puss-N-Boots and the rest of the “cuddly crew” and bash their skulls in with rocks. But then I saw the following:

Quote:
Genesis 6:5-7

5And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

6And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

7And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

This is, of course, God’s decision that he needed to wipe out all humans and animals with his great flood. A cat that was in teh flood could have lived for week, adrift on floatsom, before slowly drowning. God has clearly given me two ways to deal with disobedience animals.

So it leaves me with a dilemma: do I bash the kittens to death or drown them slowly in the tub? Which shows more love for God?

 


Replies:
handmaiden (06-05-2018 01:10 AM): I'd recommend either actually stoning them or shooting them. Shooting would save time and lead is a type of rock. The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came ...
GreatScott (06-05-2018 03:16 AM): The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came to a True Christian™ forum for advice. If he had wanted the opinions of garden-variety sadists and/or unsaved ...
Didymus Much (06-05-2018 04:24 AM): ...I'm actually a Christian... So you agree with the Bible when it says non-virgin brides that have been properly bought and paid for should be killed at the city gates? And that married rape victims ...
Thomas Taylor (06-05-2018 04:29 AM): And slowly drowning them isn't. Or bashing their skulls in. I'm actually a Christian born and raised in the US for over seven generations. Ms. Scott, So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill ...
Diesel Stanford (06-05-2018 05:17 AM): Ms. Scott, So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill cats? YIC TT PS. Cats are not mentioned in The Holy Bible (KJV 1611) so have no relevance in the world.Amen, that is correct. The Bible ...
handmaiden (06-05-2018 03:49 PM): Amen, that is correct. The Bible must be our final authority. Oh, and the same thing does go for dogs. Dogs are mentoined fourty times in the Bible. Proverbs 26:11 - As adogreturneth to his vomit, so ...
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