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For Sale: Stillborn Babies

Supporting the American economy, one sale at a time

Now that LBC chose to deny my marriage and make it null and void, I have some clean up to do.

My ‘supposed’ wife Mrs. Hutchins, being a Thrifty Christian (‘want to be’, apparently) did not own a lot of material goods, a thread worn and patches over patches house dress and a pair of mucking boots, along with a simple silver band (missing, some nigra probably stole it!)
While she produced many living children, quite a few (a couple of dozen) never survived childbirth, no doubt due to the massive amount of sins she had committed. Not to be one to throw a child out with the bath water and into the street, I retained all these dead babies in glass jars and stored them on the mantle in the dining room. Every day, Mrs. Hutchins had to dust to room and all the jars, reminding her each and every day of how she hurt Jesus.
Now that she is gone, there is no need to hold on to them any more. The jars are gallon sized, mason style lids. New they would be well over $2.00 each, I will sell them for $1.00 each, as is, you pick up. They make great conversation pieces and some of the babies have two heads or other deformities. There are labels with names on the jars but the labels come right off with a little scraping from a razor blade.
Do not wait for them to be sold at the Church Bazaar. Own a little bit of ‘Hutchins History’ now!

 

 


Replies:
Nobar King (27-07-2018 06:22 PM): I was trying to be nice but my offer to loan you cash no longer stands. ...
James Hutchins (27-07-2018 08:02 PM): Well, the last ones were picked up today in person by some bald guy with a monocle. I should of asked him who his tailor was, he was wearing a very smart all white linen suit. He paid cash and as always, ...
Faith_Machine (28-07-2018 08:46 AM): Hold on a minute, James: You're single now? What the heck happened? Are you OK? ...
James Hutchins (28-07-2018 10:40 AM): Hold on a minute, James: You're single now? What the heck happened? Are you OK? Honestly, as God is my witness, I am not sure what happened. A bit over a year ago, I was away for a weeks conference ...
Faith_Machine (29-07-2018 09:41 AM): Well I'm very sorry to hear about this, James. It appears you've been cuckolded. I have some books and videos on the subject. Perhaps I could come over and share these materials with you. ...
James Hutchins (29-07-2018 01:34 PM): Well I'm very sorry to hear about this, James. It appears you've been cuckolded. I have some books and videos on the subject. Perhaps I could come over and share these materials with you. Thank you for ...
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