Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Brothers and Sisters,

For some reason, many secular types don't think we True Christians have a sense of humor! :o They are obviously mistaken and I hope to put pay to all those false assumptions with this thread.

I know that sometimes our day to day lives leave us too busy to take time out for a good laugh! So I had a thought! Why not couple our bible study time with a good giggle from time to time.

As such, I have thought up these few gems.

Q: Knock Knock!

A: Who's There?

A: Jesus Of course!:lol:

Matthew 7:7

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:


And another, sure to put a smile on the dial!

Q: Why did the pigs jump off the cliff and die?

A: Because they were possessed by demons and Jesus with His Almighty power, made it possible! :loveshower:

Matthew 8 31-32

So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.

And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.

Oh gee!:lol: Good times indeed! So, how about other Brothers and Sisters think up some hilarious situations too, but remember to add the relevant verse for the "punchline" reference!

Have fun!!

YIC

Sister Phebe

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Gosh! Good times indeed! Just letting you know, God just inspired me with yet another knee-slapper!:thumbsup:

Q: Who was the best financial planner in the Bible?

A: Why Noah of course because he kept his stock afloat while the rest of the world was under "liquidation":lol:


Genesis 7 13:17

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.

And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.

And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.

And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth

YIC

Sister Phebe.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Your posts are a wonderful demonstration of why those secular types may very well be correct on that point.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Sister, I fear if James sees this one, there may be indeed some slapping going on. Not necessarily of knees. :thumbdown:

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

@Mrs. Phebe Dewitt Your jokes are so funny! :lol: My father says it is the atheists who have no humor! :angry:

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

How many God's does it take to change a light bulb?

Just the one, true, Christian God :)

Genesis 1
3And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. :lol: :D

What do you get when you cross a magician with a liar?

A spell of unbelievably hot and humid conditions.

Revelation 21:8
8But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. :lol::D:thumbsup:

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Why ever so, Reverend Rodimer?!:o

It was certainly no affront to James I can assure you!:( What was said that was so untoward?



YIC

Sister Phebe.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Here are a few more.

Q: What was Boaz before he got married?

A: Ruthless and in the dark! (no "sun"/son):lol:

Ruth 4:13

"So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, The Lord gave her conception, and she bare a son.

Q:Who was the best comedian in the Bible?

A:Samson. He brought the house down. :lol:

Judges 16:29-30

And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars upon which the house stood, and on which it was borne up, of the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left.
And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life.

:hugegrin:

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

When the Ark finally came to rest, Noah opened the door and told all of the animals to "go forth and multiply". After the animals left, he was doing a last walk through and found two snakes crying in the corner.

"What's the matter? We've landed, go forth and multiply!"

The snakes looked up and between sobs said "we can't, we're adders."

Genesis 8:17 Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

The extreme lack of humor, dear Sister.

Don't worry, you made up for it with those last two! :thumbsup:

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Oh my gosh that one is so funny! I am so going to tell it at my next Bible study class.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Thank you Miss Annie! I know that one is surely a hit with the younger Christian guys and gals.:thumbsup:

Here is another.

Q: Why did the chickens cross the road?

A: To get on the Ark!:lol:

Genesis 7:14-15

They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.

15 And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein [is] the breath of life.

**The good thing about the above joke, is you can name ANY animal, not just chickens! That will surely amount to HOURS, nay, DAYS of laughter, chortles, merriment and hilarity!:D
You could even make a contest of it, as to who can come up with the zaniest animal to replace chickens.:thumbsup:

EG: Why did the ZEBU cross the road....:lol2:

YIC

Sister Phebe.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Q: How do we know with Jesus ALL things are possible?

A: Because He made Pigs Fly!:lol::pigsfly:then fall to their death in the sea

Matthew 5:13 And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand; ) and were choked in the sea.

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Q: Who won the first ever game of Hide and Seek?

A: Adam and Eve because God couldn't find them! :lol:

Genesis: 8

And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. 9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Q: When does 200 x 4 equal 200?

...

A: When you're talking about 200 x "4" skins that you've taken from slaughtered Philistines, of course! :lol:

1 Samuel 18:27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.


EDIT: Wait, I have more! I am ON FIRE for the Lord tonight.

Q: What did the little kid say to the bald man?
A: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
Q: What did the bald man say to the little children?
A: He didn't say anything, he just got God to send some bears to kill them.

2 Kings 2:23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Q: What did Moses say to his brother when they were arguing?
A: Don't have a cow, man!

Exodus 32:19 And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses' anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.
20 And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.
21 And Moses said unto Aaron, What did this people unto thee, that thou hast brought so great a sin upon them?

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Q. How do we know that Adam was a white?

A. Have you ever tried to get a rib from a nigra.

Genesis 2:21



And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Your father sounds like a wise man :)

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

That is THE most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

Stick around. As long as they're quoting straight out of their big book of fairy tales, which they are, they can be far more disgusting than that.

Re: Smile and Laugh With God! :D
 

What's Black, and White, and red all over?





































Wait for it.....



































The Bible! :lol::lol:


John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Ephesians 2:13
But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

Hebrews 13:20
Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,