The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=42)
-   -   God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites. (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=110162)

Levi Jones 10-05-2016 05:09 AM

God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Pastor James Manning has a word of prophecy for the gays. As a Godly man of wisdom, it is sure to come true. "Tell these faggots, either they get outta town or flame and fire gonna come outta their butthole. And anybody that sympathizes with ’em, they gonna have a flame shooting outta their vagina."




"God is going to put a cancer in the butthole of every sodomite. Every sodomite who practices sodomy from the day of this message forward is going to get cancer in the butthole!"

Some weak and watered down Christians may be shocked by this prophecy. They may shake their heads and call the only Godly man left in New York City things like a "bigot" or a "hate preacher." But is Pastor Manning's message really that controversial? The short answer here is no. If Pastor Manning is a bigot or hateful, so is the author of over half of the New Testament, our beloved Apostle Paul.

Romans 1:26-32
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
God gave them over. Without God in their lives, they became so horribly depraved that they started sticking their penises in anuses! And the women were licking and fingering other women's vaginas!

Jesus' favorite Apostle (in the short period between the death and the return, but before the final return) says quite clearly that those people deserve death. And not just those who do it, but those who support them as well.
32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
The world today may try to tell you this is a perfectly natural thing and that it's okay. They may even get tawdry giggles about the idea of God sending a plague on the gays that will make flames shoot out of their butt holes. But I can assure you it's no laughing matter.


http://www.landoverbaptist.net/wordp...s-from-ass.jpg



Some ancillary prophecies Pastor Manning makes.



Clearly an expert on many things anal, Pastor Manning goes on to describe how the gays won't be able to sit down because of the burning in the butt hole.


"Chair manufacturers will have to make chairs where people can sit standing up because of all the flames coming out of the gays' butt holes." I suppose they'll all have to lay down standing up too? Is there any way we can make money off of this coming Godly judgment? Can we invent or invest in a chair you can stand in?



"He's got to wear asbestos diapers." I know asbestos is a carcinogen. Much like gays, I don't want to be around it. Personally, I would like to limit such an item to being sold at Target or some other gay store, like maybe Starbucks.


The biggest fear I have: I think of ass cancer and flames shooting from butt holes as the final thing that happens before Satan takes their souls for eternal torture, but Pastor Manning makes paints this picture even more vividly than a silly (except Matthew 27:52-53) zombie apocalypse. How long do these flame shooting butt hole queers live for? Apparently long enough to need a chair you can stand in and asbestos diapers. What is to stop them from banding together to form Satan's army? There could be scores of bombardier queers running around shooting people with weapons grade AIDS infested, cancer giving butt flames! They could even be a bigger threat to our American way of life than they are now!



http://www.landoverbaptist.net/wordp...er-300x144.jpg



And let's not forget that according to Pastor Manning's prophecy, it won't just be sodomite men shooting from their butts. There's another thing to fear, according to Pastor Manning. Let's not forget that the sympathizers of the fags will be shooting flames from their vaginas.



http://www.landoverbaptist.net/wordp...6/10/queef.jpg



I know these things must come to pass if a Godly Pastor like James Manning says they will, but I am praying for God to give me the strength to endure such hardships.



Pastor Manning wants us to go forth and preach this message against sodomy. "I want you to preach it against the sodomite maker Barack Hussein Obama, the son of Satan."



He wants us all to become sodomite slayers, like David James Manning and the Apostle Paul are? Won't you join us in answering the call to preach against the sodomy?

Faith_Machine 10-05-2016 07:58 AM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
I met up with Pastor Manning on the golf course not long ago, and he told me he had a big prophecy to reveal, but he wouldn't say what it was. This was worth the wait!

Phil Ander 10-05-2016 01:02 PM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine (Post 1190611)
I met up with Pastor Manning on the golf course not long ago, and he told me he had a big prophecy to reveal, but he wouldn't say what it was. This was worth the wait!


I think this is the same Pastor Manning I met at Augusta a few years ago. We were both keen for a hit on the course, but only had a couple of hours. We had a little disagreement about what we should play. I said I preferred the front 9, but he insisted on playing the back 9. He was a very good player, and narrowly missed a hole in one.


FM, please give him my regards next time you see him.


Five Iron Phil

Johny Joe Hold 10-05-2016 01:54 PM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
It will be a glorious time to watch the pain emitted from sinful anuses. Screaming homers will get no sympathies from here at Landover Baptist Church.

Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson 10-06-2016 01:05 AM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold (Post 1190620)
It will be a glorious time to watch the pain emitted from sinful anuses. Screaming homers will get no sympathies from here at Landover Baptist Church.

Amen, Mayor. I believe we can pick them off at far distance before their butt cancer flamer throwers reach our walls.


:hunter:

RadicalirishmanIRA 11-05-2016 06:18 PM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
:lex_12::jesus::thumbsup::lex_12::ph34r::gunsmilie (1)::sacred-life::usaflag::bongo-drums::thumbsup(1)::link::kitty::argue::superman2: :superman2::jesus-stoning::candle::friends::trippy::trippy::swear:But I'm a sodomite.....

Didymus Much 11-05-2016 06:21 PM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by RadicalirishmanIRA (Post 1193948)
...But I'm a sodomite.....

And even the Catholic excuse for a Bible says that God hates you, wants you dead, and will throw you into Hell afterwards, FOR EVER, no matter how many "nice" or "good" things you did while alive. Deal with it.


Oh, and welcome to Landover.

Johny Joe Hold 11-06-2016 12:57 AM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by RadicalirishmanIRA (Post 1193948)
But I'm a sodomite.....

It is discouraging when we here at Landover Baptist try to have a serious discussion about sodomites and some unemployed comedian comes along. We need to focus on this major sin and not some odd sense of humor.

The 420 Dank Meme 12-21-2016 11:59 PM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Flames shooting out of people's <<<explicative deleted>>> are due to someone lighting their <<<explicative deleted>>>, same as if you light your gas burner at home due to the methane emitting from there, I DARE YOU TO DO IT YOURSELF AND SEE THAT I AM RIGHT:thumbsup::brimley:

Mary Etheldreda 12-22-2016 12:47 AM

Re: God is going to send a new plague upon the sodomites.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The 420 Dark God (Post 1198750)
Flames shooting out of people's <<<explicative deleted>>> are due to someone lighting their <<<explicative deleted>>>, same as if you light your gas burner at home due to the methane emitting from there, I DARE YOU TO DO IT YOURSELF AND SEE THAT I AM RIGHT:thumbsup::brimley:

While the Good Lord could certainly hover a Zippo lighter in the proximity of a homer's nether regions the moment prior to natural flatulence, I think the pastor is suggesting the LORD will send flames to begin deep within the rectum of the Sodomite sinner, right where the demons gather and plot their next moral crime. This should come as no surprise to one who reads and believes and trusts the Holy Bible to mean what It says and say what It means. If God has no practical or ethical problem burning Jews alive for the victimless crime of complaining (Numbers 11:1), or lobbing murderous fireballs at Job's slaves and livestock to make a point to Lucifer about loyalty (Job 1:16), surely there's no reason to believe starting a violent flame war inside a man's anus is beyond His abilities.


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:32 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved