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Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Sunday school teachers and youth pastors might want to take note of this, I think this is a very effective demonstration that will offer irrefutable proof to children of all ages that evilution is nothing but a FILTHY LIE drummed up by charles "the devil in human form" darwin and his satanic minions to lead people away from Christ.

For this experiment you will need:

1 live goldfish
1 KJV 1611 Holy Bible

First, read the Biblical account of Creation aloud to the witnesses, from the KJV 1611:

Quote:

Genesis 1

1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

13And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.

16And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

17And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,

18And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

21And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

26And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

After having read this aloud, give a brief description of the false doctrine of evilution. Fish growing legs and lungs and taking to the land, etc., making it very clear that it is the gospel of beelzebub.

Next, remove the goldfish from it's bowl, and place it on the ground. There are bound to be some shrieks of horror and shouts of anger, but pay no attention. Proceed with the experiment in The Name of God.

As the fish flops about, gasping for air, be sure to point out to the children that it doesn't appear to be sprouting limbs or developing lung function, and that in fact, it is dying an excruciatingly painful death. Feel free to ad lib here, you can rant about damnation and hellfire, or you can shout at them about the Mercy of Christ...it doesn't reallly matter, the visual part of the demonstration will be most effective.

Yours in True Biblical Science,
Witch Hammer

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Praise Jesus!! What an excellent object lesson for Christian children.

I suppose we could also work it the other way around; throw a cat in a fish tank and wait for it to "evolve" some gills and fins. Watching it gulp and flail about will surely inspire any child with the glory of God!!

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Wow, such a wonderful, simple answer. Such a brainy, insightful answer. How is it that the evolution debate is still going on with the likes of WH around? My, my a complete mystery. :sarcasm:

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5579)

Wow, such a wonderful, simple answer. Such a brainy, insightful answer. How is it that the evolution debate is still going on with the likes of WH around? My, my a complete mystery. :sarcasm:

Stow the sarcasm, witch. You're far too stupid (which is understandable, as you're a woman) to see the undeniable proof of Biblical Creation hidden in this elegant little experiment. Go now, slattern.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Bah. It is equally as likely for the Flying spaghetti monster to have created the universe.
If you're looking at one creation theory, you have to look at them ALL.
And besides, the FSM heaven sounds better :D

But my point is that a simple badly organized experiment conducted by a 10th grader (I'm thinking) is hardly conclusive proof of the origins of the universe.
Why, using that kind of logic I could prove the big bang theory by getting a can of beans, feeding it to a landover senior pastor near an open fireplace......and...... :D

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5582)

I pity you, you wicked, ignorant creature, with the finer nuances of life ever bouncing off of your thick, protruding aborigine brow. Christ have mercy on you!

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

You doubt the potential of my experiment? Fine, when Pastor Al comes in, maybe I'll ask him to participate...THEN we'll see :beee:

*And you seem to have completely missed the point that these fishlike creatures had evolved while IN water, not just thrown on land!*

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5582)

Bah. It is equally as likely for the Flying spaghetti monster to have created the universe.
If you're looking at one creation theory, you have to look at them ALL.
And besides, the FSM heaven sounds better :D

But my point is that a simple badly organized experiment conducted by a 10th grader (I'm thinking) is hardly conclusive proof of the origins of the universe.
Why, using that kind of logic I could prove the big bang theory by getting a can of beans, feeding it to a Landover senior pastor near an open fireplace......and...... :D

Imbecilic witch! The Holy Word of God does not mention spaghetti anywhere in its divine pages. If God had wanted us to worship food, he would have mentioned it I'm sure. We KNOW that Jesus is God, because the Bible tells us so. Don't be so thick.

As for your infantile joke about passing gas....how on earth does that have any bearing on this topic? :offtopic: Answer: it does not. And I'll have you know that when True Christian pastors expel demons through their poop chute, it smells like roses, another miracle provided by Jesus.

Can your false pasta "God" do that?

Thank You Witch Hammer!

For that wonderful gold fish scientific creationlab experiment. I would also like to suggest the following instructional video as a complimentary lesson for children and adults. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usrrj5jWd68

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

My POINT was that your theory of creation is just as logical as the Flying spaghetti monster one, and that WH's experiment is similar to someone throwing a newborn infant into water and expecting it to swim. He completely missed the point that these fishlike creatures had evolved sufficiently IN water before they were able to make the transition out.

I was saying that his experiment proves creationism about as much as my experiment with the beans, the pastors, and the open fireplace proves the big bang.....speaking of gas......maybe you would be the man for the experiement, Zeke? :innocent:

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5597)

My POINT was that your theory of creation is just as logical as the Flying spaghetti monster one, and that WH's experiment is similar to someone throwing a newborn infant into water and expecting it to swim. He completely missed the point that these fishlike creatures had evolved sufficiently IN water before they were able to make the transition out.

I was saying that his experiment proves creationism about as much as my experiment with the beans, the pastors, and the open fireplace.....speaking of gas......maybe you would be the man for the experiement, Zeke? :innocent:

The only point you have is the one on your head.:angry:

And by the way, when my dad tossed me into Lake Freehold one fine winter day when I was 3 months old, I can tell you Jesus taught me to swim in an instant!

Once again, you have proven nothing but your deep ignorance.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 5598)

The only point you have is the one on your head.:angry:

And by the way, when my dad tossed me into Lake Freehold one fine winter day when I was 3 months old, I can tell you Jesus taught me to swim in an instant!

Once again, you have proven nothing but your deep ignorance.

*splutter*
Oh yes, and I'm sure he taught you to fly as well, didn't he? old :rolleyes:

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5600)

*splutter*
Oh yes, and I'm sure he taught you to fly as well, didn't he? old :rolleyes:

Yes, but that wasn't until I was 10. I started with a single-engine cessna and now fly my own Learjet all over the globe, doing the Lord's work. Thank you Jesus, and thank you Daddy!!

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Your learning to fly a plane (if indeed you did) has nothing whatsoever to do with evolution.

The fact is, you can't dispute what I was saying about the stage at which evolution for those fishlike creatures progressed. You can't dispute it....because you weren't there.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5618)

Hahaha, and you were, I suppose? Your hellbound scissor sister Lilith may have been around the block a few times, but not even she was there 6000 years ago, when GOD created the earth and everything in it.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

I'm not saying I was but I'm saying that it's one theory vs the other and there's a lot more evidence to support evolution than creation. -_-

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5687)

I'm not saying I was but I'm saying that it's one theory vs the other and there's a lot more evidence to support evolution than creation. -_-

Quote me one Bible verse - just one - that supports evilution.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Ummm......BT.....I said it's creation VS evolution...I didn't say one supports the other!

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing (Post 5698)

Ummm......BT.....I said it's creation VS evolution...I didn't say one supports the other!

No-one is saying that one supports the other, you drug-addled tart! I said that ALL THE EVIDENCE supports one (creationism), and you were unable to come up with a coherent response.

Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witch Hammer (Post 5567)

...Proceed with the experiment in The Name of God...

Now doesn't that have a nice, mid-twentieth century Germanic ring to it!

Your 'experiment' does nothing more than prove you are few water squirts shy of a bidet. Exposing children to such ghastly abuses like a dying fish is unconscionable and you should stop immediately. It's outfits like yours that give organised religion a bad name.

Bless you, my Jethro Bodine thinkalike,
Father Mo:innocent: :innocent: :innocent: