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-   -   My uncle gave me a pearl necklace! (http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=64421)

Mrs. Mary Whitford 05-01-2011 03:01 AM

My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Friends, I can't tell you how shocked I am. Earlier today I was visiting with my Uncle Phil and Aunt Meg in Des Moines. It seemed like things were going well, I spent the morning witnessing to them and then we took time out for a hearty lunch - and I do mean hearty! I stuffed myself full of different meats, enjoying sandwiches and delicious soup, but I took in a little too much and had to lay down for a nap.

When I woke up, I discovered to my horror that Uncle Phil had given me a pearl necklace while I slept! It was right there, on my ch*st! I was so revolted that he would do such a thing that I couldn't bring myself to touch it, so I grabbed a nearby towel and brushed it off as quickly as I could!

After I calmed down, I grabbed my Bible and explained why he shouldn't be going around giving women pearl necklaces! Not even his wife!

1Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array

No pearl necklaces, no pearl earrings, no pearl ANYTHING!

Uncle Phil apologized and asked me not to tell anyone about his breach of morality, that he just thought I would like it and that he thought a pearl necklace would look good on me, but after talking to my husband, Mr. Whitford, we thought this would be a great witnessing tale to share with the world. God bless you all!

Zechariah Smyth 05-01-2011 03:10 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Mrs. Whitford, I have given my nieces many gifts while they are sleeping, but I would never, EVER think of giving them a pearl necklace...it just seems so unclean and improper to me.

I mean, pearls come from OYSTERS for goodness sake! I'm no geologist, but I'm pretty sure they don't have fins or scales:

(Leviticus 11:12) "Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you."

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Nobar King 05-01-2011 03:15 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
I always give the special women in my life a pearl necklace. Each pearl symbolizes pureness of spirit.

Lycia The Repentant 05-01-2011 03:23 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
When I was an unSaved© whore, I used to love wearing pearl necklaces. I can't quite remember exactly how many I've had over the years, but in those days it was rare to see me without a large string of pearls around my neck.

In fact, I remember one instance in particular where a customer gave me one. I, err, gave him a freebie, and at the end of the session he gave me the biggest, most luxurious pearl necklace I've ever seen! I guess he can't have been as broke as he let on, or maybe he was testing me or something.

Of course, ever since I've repented of my sluttishness and became a True Christian™ I can proudly say that my neck has been pearl-free.

María Gálvez-Villalobos 05-01-2011 03:27 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant (Post 743145)
When I was an unSaved© whore, I used to love wearing pearl necklaces. I can't quite remember exactly how many I've had over the years, but in those days it was rare to see me without a large string of pearls around my neck.

In fact, I remember one instance in particular where a customer gave me one. I, err, gave him a freebie, and at the end of the session he gave me the biggest, most luxurious pearl necklace I've ever seen!

Of course, ever since I've repented of my sluttishness and became a True Christian™ I can proudly say that my neck has been pearl-free.

What is 'freebie'??

And what is the conexión whit the pearls??

YIC, Mari:( (Confuse - as always whit the amercian lenguage)

Lycia The Repentant 05-01-2011 03:33 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos (Post 743148)
What is 'freebie'??

And what is the conexión whit the pearls??

Ah, a freebie would be something given away for free, Sister. Now that I think about it, the pearls might have been meant for his wife or something! :o

I'm glad I've left that part of my life behind me now. The thought that I may have inadvertently stolen a string of pearls (which we shouldn't be wearing anyways! :bad:) that rightfully belonged to another woman just sickens and depresses me. :(

María Gálvez-Villalobos 05-01-2011 03:38 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant (Post 743153)
Ah, a freebie would be something given away for free, Sister. Now that I think about it, the pearls might have been meant for his wife or something! :o

I'm glad I've left that part of my life behind me now. The thought that I may have inadvertently stolen a string of pearls (which we shouldn't be wearing anyways! :bad:) that rightfully belonged to another woman just sickens and depresses me. :(

Ah, OK. SO you stole pearls from him. Then stole them again?
The freebie was that?

Lycia The Repentant 05-01-2011 03:42 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos (Post 743156)
Ah, OK. SO you stole pearls from him. Then stole them again?
The freebie was that?

:facepalm:

Yes, that's it. Let's leave it at that, Mari.

María Gálvez-Villalobos 05-01-2011 03:46 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant (Post 743157)
:facepalm:

Yes, that's it. Let's leave it at that, Mari.

:( Oh. Am I holding wrong end of your stick..again?

Now I'm even more confuse about freebie - I mean, would be OK foe ME give a freebie to someone I like , maybe my grandmother, but must it be something especific type of freebie or is something more general?

???:(

Mrs. Mary Whitford 05-01-2011 03:59 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nobar King (Post 743139)
I always give the special women in my life a pearl necklace. Each pearl symbolizes pureness of spirit.

By "special" do you mean the unsaved trash in your extended family, with a reminder to them to read 1 Timothy 2:9? :lol:

Nobar King 05-01-2011 04:11 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford (Post 743162)
By "special" do you mean the unsaved trash in your extended family, with a reminder to them to read 1 Timothy 2:9? :lol:

No, not them, and actually it was only twice to two different women. I was hoping that things would work out better than they did, but, oh well.

Jack O'fagan 05-01-2011 04:52 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
The Queen loves to receive a pearl necklace. I believe that she has had a few over the years from Philip but also received pearl necklaces from the heads of many other countries.

She is supposed to be the head of The Church of England. :thumbdown:

It wouldn't surprise me if Kate hasn't received one from William already.

YiC

Jack

James Hutchins 05-01-2011 08:48 PM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Pearls, how gauche. I am so sorry for you Mrs. Whitford. At least they were not Black Pearls.

Rev. M. Rodimer 05-02-2011 05:46 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
I'm pretty horrified that your uncle would give you the pearl necklace to which his wife was undoubtedly entitled.

Was she upset?

Living_Water 05-02-2011 05:52 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Maybe next time your uncle wants to give you a gift he'll go for something more modest. Like a delicious creampie.

Mrs. Mary Whitford 05-02-2011 07:23 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 743713)
I'm pretty horrified that your uncle would give you the pearl necklace to which his wife was undoubtedly entitled.

Was she upset?

Not at all! She's not saved, so she not only thought it was a fine idea, but she encouraged him! She said, "I just couldn't wait to see the look on your face. I was sure you'd enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed seeing him give it to you." That just shows how little she knows me! I don't want a pearl necklace at all, not from any man and especially not my uncle!

Felicity 05-02-2011 07:43 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
What a story! My father says pearls are a great way to recognize sluts. :)

Mrs. Mary Whitford 05-02-2011 07:47 AM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Felicity (Post 743748)
What a story! My father says pearls are a great way to recognize sluts. :)

As are gold rings and braided hair.

Rev. M. Rodimer 05-02-2011 04:05 PM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Living_Water (Post 743715)
Maybe next time your uncle wants to give you a gift he'll go for something more modest. Like a delicious creampie.

Are you suggesting that her uncle should cook?

Or perhaps that he would ask his wife to prepare a creampie for Sister Mary?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford (Post 743742)
Not at all! She's not saved, so she not only thought it was a fine idea, but she encouraged him! She said, "I just couldn't wait to see the look on your face. I was sure you'd enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed seeing him give it to you." That just shows how little she knows me! I don't want a pearl necklace at all, not from any man and especially not my uncle!

So she WATCHED? :o

Mrs. Mary Whitford 05-02-2011 04:15 PM

Re: My uncle gave me a pearl necklace!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 743901)
Are you suggesting that her uncle should cook?

Or perhaps that he would ask his wife to prepare a creampie for Sister Mary?

So she WATCHED? :o

Why shouldn't she? There's nothing in the Bible about wives not watching while uncles give their nieces pearl necklaces. The only problem is the pearls themselves.


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