The Landover Baptist Church Forum - Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

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- - Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=19059)

Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Now I used to make fun of Joel like everyone else, the thing is I never watched him speak until this morning. This man is truly a seductive false teacher, do not take him lightly. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights of his charm! If not for the Godly teachings of Landover protecting me I would surely have been lost to this Joel Cult.

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billy Ram (Post 285006)

I felt like a deer caught in the headlights of his charm!

Or perhaps the headlights of his teeth:

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2...eature4pn5.jpg

... indeed, those chompers are dazzling, blinding good people everywhere. Look away!

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Notice the satanic glimmer in his right eye. Chilling!

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Dr. Terry Watkins over at Dial-the-Truth Ministries wrote an excellent expose of Mr. Osteen here: Joel Osteen: True or False?

Quote:

Today’s Christians have been spiritually malnourished with a steady and unrelenting diet of "judge not, that ye be not judged. . .," tolerant, inclusive "junk food" doctrine until they are completely void of any spiritual discernment. May I remind you in Matthew 7 where the popular "judge not, that ye be not judged. . ." mantra occurs contains the harshest warning in the Bible exposing false prophets and exercising personal spiritual discernment. The Lord Jesus in Matthew 7:21-23 provides the most enlightening and frightening warning found in all the scriptures. Many (not a few) people that openly call Jesus "Lord, Lord. . ." and many that "prophesy in thy name. . ." and ". . . cast out devils. . ." and in the name of Jesus Christ perform "many wonderful (not hateful, but nice, sweet) works. . ."— Jesus will utter "I NEVER knew you." They were never saved. If they were ever saved—Jesus could not say, I NEVER knew you. Despite their "many wonderful works" in the name of Jesus, despite calling Him "Lord, Lord"—Jesus Christ will cast them into an eternal lake of fire, calling them "ye that work iniquity."

Quote:

Friend, the greatest "fire and brimstone" preacher that ever lived was the Lord Jesus! He preached about hell more than any other subject. If you don’t believe in proclaiming "fire and brimstone, as Osteen openly confesses, you do not believe the Bible! It’s that simple.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Reminds me of our Lord's words, "beware when all men speak well of you." No one speaks well of Landover Baptist, that's how we know Landover teaches truth. :thumbsup:

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

Speaking of Joel Osteen, as I was watching TBN last night, he started his sermon with (of all things) a joke.

The one last night was about a guy who wanted to tell a blonde joke. He was started to tell the joke, at which point a 6 foot tall blonde woman said, "I'm 6 a six foot tall blond boxer, next to me is a 6 foot 4 blond basketball player, next to her is a blond six foot six sumo wrestler; now do you still want to tell your joke?"

To which the man responded "No, I don't think so, I don't want to have to explain it three times"

Now, what kind of "preacher" would start out his sermon with that kind of horrible joke!?!

I mean, the word blond isn't even in the Bible (KJV1611). Surely he could have told a red head joke, something about Esau?

YIC
V

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

My favourite joke in the Bible:

2 Kings 2:

[23] And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Now if Joel "Gums" Osteen told that funny story, there would be a whole audience of knee-slappin going on. Instead he deviates from the Word of the KJV 1611 into some trite blonde drivel.:thumbdown:

Re: Joel Osteen Satanic Ear Tickler

I just wonder how long before he's divulging his sexual secrets to that pervert Kike Larry King. You know Haggard has got to love that pretty mouth. :angry: