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Brother Baconeater 03-14-2010 02:21 AM

Is There TV In Heaven
 
I'm worried about being bored for at least part of eternity. I hope TV is there and we get all the channels, of course with a VChip.
I wonder if it will be just a bunch of reruns or we'll get new series too.

No Secrets Victoria 03-14-2010 04:04 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
There will be no time for nonsense like T.V:angry:

There will be time for prayer, and the washing of feet, and catching up with all your long dead relatives. The screams heard from hell will be your entertainment :thumbsup: and you can thank GOD for that!

I LOVE YOU JESUS:innocent:

Rev. Jim Osborne 03-14-2010 04:19 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Just 24 hours nonstop of Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne. :thumbsup:

EDIT: I should clarify something. The "with Rev. Jim Osborne" part refers to the show name itself: "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell". It does not mean "Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne", because as we all know, a Godly man like me will never end up there.

BelieverInGod 03-14-2010 04:47 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
I thought we got to watch the sinners burn for all eternity. Wouldn't that be easiest if Jesus gave us large screen TVs?

Pastor Ezekiel 03-14-2010 06:07 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
I imagine that Jesus will take good care of us up in Heaven. Free wide-screen TV's for every mansion in the sky, and all your favorite shows. :thumbsup:

I hear that He has a non-stop barbecue going, with all the grilled steaks and chops you care to eat, and the most Heavenly beer you can imagine, served in chilled mugs, with bowls of cashew nuts. :beer:

And the ladies will enjoy fetching us cold beers and rubbing our tired feet for all eternity. Shout glory! :yahoo:

H. Montague Worthington 03-14-2010 08:37 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
I know I'm probably going to be scolded by the pastors for my sinful guilty pleasure, but I enjoyed the show "Touched By an Angel" in the 1990s. I was also quite fond of "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Art Linkletter.

Aristotle 03-14-2010 10:13 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington (Post 487096)
I know I'm probably going to be scolded by the pastors for my sinful guilty pleasure, but I enjoyed the show "Touched By an Angel" in the 1990s. I was also quite fond of "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Art Linkletter.

I would imagine that JESUS will provide the Godly shows that were on early American television before the 'liberals' destroyed it (Thank GOD we still have Fox News)

I look forward to watching Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best once again.

Brother Baconeater 03-14-2010 02:20 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 487064)
I hear that He has a non-stop barbecue going, with all the grilled steaks and chops you care to eat, and the most Heavenly beer you can imagine, served in chilled mugs, with bowls of cashew nuts. :beer:

This is another thing I wonder about. I love bacon, hence my name. I know it is a fact that animals don't go to heaven, though I'm not sure where they go, so how can there be steaks and bacon in heaven? Especially fresh meat.
It is heaven, I'd expect my meat to be fresh.
I know that if I went to church regularly I would know the answer, but as I mentioned in my intro, I live in atheist Canada, so it is almost impossible to find a church that is even half free of The Devil's influence.

eliot mayfield 03-14-2010 02:26 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aristotle (Post 487108)
I would imagine that JESUS will provide the Godly shows that were on early American television before the 'liberals' destroyed it (Thank GOD we still have Fox News)

I look forward to watching Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best once again.

Leave it to Beaver was the beginning of the end of American family life!
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=31517

Talitha 03-14-2010 02:41 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Baconeater (Post 487162)
This is another thing I wonder about. I love bacon, hence my name. I know it is a fact that animals don't go to heaven, though I'm not sure where they go, so how can there be steaks and bacon in heaven? Especially fresh meat.

The Lord provides.
He's God, and God can do anything.
There will be a Refrigerator with a limitless supply of all the food that God allows us to eat.

Aristotle 03-17-2010 02:32 AM

Misunderstood message
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield (Post 487166)
Leave it to Beaver was the beginning of the end of American family life!
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=31517

With all due respect, people were smarter back then so the TV producers could be more subtle with their answers. When Beaver asks his mother a question, she gives the wrong answer. After all, she is a mere woman, fit only for making sandwiches for Wally. That is why Paul said woman should not teach (1 Timothy). Viewers knew her answer was wrong. Note that Beaver later on asks a wise old man who gives him good advice. Hence the TrueChristian™ lesson that young people should look to the male mentor, rather than the weak female.

Cordelia Nigglesby 03-17-2010 04:01 AM

Re: Misunderstood message
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aristotle (Post 488219)
With all due respect, people were smarter back then so the TV producers could be more subtle with their answers. When Beaver asks his mother a question, she gives the wrong answer. After all, she is a mere woman, fit only for making sandwiches for Wally. That is why Paul said woman should not teach (1 Timothy). Viewers knew her answer was wrong. Note that Beaver later on asks a wise old man who gives him good advice. Hence the TrueChristian™ lesson that young people should look to the male mentor, rather than the weak female.

Amen!

I home-cook 3 meals a day for my Husband and children, even when we are out in the wilds doing our Evangelical duty through Missionary work. The Lord has blessed me greatly and yet another Holy blessing will hopefully arrive the day I become a TrueChristian™ myself. Then, and only then, will my final path to salvation be guaranteed!

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Aristotle 03-26-2010 02:14 PM

Re: Misunderstood message
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cordelia Nigglesby (Post 488239)
Amen!

I home-cook 3 meals a day for my Husband and children, even when we are out in the wilds doing our Evangelical duty through Missionary work. The Lord has blessed me greatly and yet another Holy blessing will hopefully arrive the day I become a TrueChristian™ myself. Then, and only then, will my final path to salvation be guaranteed!

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

And just like Mrs. Cleaver, you leave all the tough decisions to your husband. Nowadays, the ungodly tv producers make shows that portray women as equals. This just confuses little girls who should be learning sewing and cooking skills, not wanting to learn science and engineering. You never see Mrs. Cleaver taking a job outside the home.

BelieverInGod 03-26-2010 04:22 PM

Re: Misunderstood message
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aristotle (Post 492728)
And just like Mrs. Cleaver, you leave all the tough decisions to your husband. Nowadays, the ungodly tv producers make shows that portray women as equals. This just confuses little girls who should be learning sewing and cooking skills, not wanting to learn science and engineering. You never see Mrs. Cleaver taking a job outside the home.

Brother, I respectfully disagree with you on this one.

The unGodly TV producers do not make women out to be equals, they make women out to be superior. Every comedy is the same, smart good-looking woman married to fat stumbling buffoon. At least Mrs. Cleaver realized who "ruled the roost" so to speak.

I don't want my boys to learn that sort of crap. That's why DH cut the cable.

Aristotle 03-27-2010 12:36 AM

Re: Misunderstood message
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod (Post 492880)
Brother, I respectfully disagree with you on this one.

The unGodly TV producers do not make women out to be equals, they make women out to be superior. Every comedy is the same, smart good-looking woman married to fat stumbling buffoon. At least Mrs. Cleaver realized who "ruled the roost" so to speak.

I don't want my boys to learn that sort of crap. That's why DH cut the cable.

You are so right. Women listen to that Nig...black woman, Oprah, and get all kinds of weird ideas about what is right. You would never find June Cleaver discussing disgusting subject like contraception in front of the tv cameras. Even that strange French lady, Julia Child, had enough sense to stick to topics like cooking. It just shows what happens when the 'liberals' are in charge.

Nathan B. Forrest 03-27-2010 01:59 AM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
FOXNews will be the only channel in Heaven

Once was lost 03-27-2010 05:29 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
What the good Lord deems necessary for me in Heaven i shall accept. I am looking forward to finally meeting all my Landover friends there.

Rev. M. Rodimer 03-29-2010 04:26 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington (Post 487096)
I know I'm probably going to be scolded by the pastors for my sinful guilty pleasure, but I enjoyed the show "Touched By an Angel" in the 1990s. I was also quite fond of "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Art Linkletter.

I understand Catholics think they will get a reality show merging the two. :bad:

Aristotle 03-29-2010 09:31 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 495539)
I understand Catholics think they will get a reality show merging the two. :bad:

Another possible merger for the Pope, 'Smallville' with 'King of Queens'

LostLambling 03-29-2010 09:58 PM

Re: Is There TV In Heaven
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aristotle (Post 495692)
Another possible merger for the Pope, 'Smallville' with 'King of Queens'

I laughed pretty hard when I saw this. :D


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