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-   -   Do you spank your wife? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=1034)

Elmer Christianson 12-01-2006 01:45 PM

Do you spank your wife?
 
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?

eliot mayfield 12-01-2006 01:50 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
http://www.pathguy.com/lectures/caning.jpg

Now just substitute prison officer for Elmer and I think you're ready. Take an old sliding board, some conduit and a few welds and you will be ready anytime.

Dwayne DeKalb 12-01-2006 01:53 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Elmer, in a second. It's your duty to keep her in line and ready for rapture!

Pastor Ezekiel 12-01-2006 02:04 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson (Post 20573)
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?

Well Brother Elmer, I have not yet been blessed with a True Christian™ wife. But I am a Pastor, and speaking from the perspective of Jesus, I encourage Men to spank their wives at least once a week AT RANDOM. Especially at this time of the year, they tend to get all flustered and even more addle-brained than usual, what with shopping lists, stuffing recipes and baking vast quantities of snickerdoodles, they need a little attention grabber.

A good whipping delivered for no apparent reason really keeps them on their toes, I can tell you. :thumbsup:

And don't forget that the Holy Scriptures tell us that women are not only to be obedient, but to be in "subjugation". 1 Timothy 2:11-15

Quote:

subjugate

verb
1. To win a victory over, as in battle or a competition: beat, best, conquer, defeat, master, overcome, prevail against or over , rout, subdue, surmount, triumph over, vanquish, worst. Informal: trim, whip. Slang: ace, lick. Idioms: carry (or win) the day, get (or have) the best of, get (or have) the better of, go someone one better.
2. To make subservient or subordinate: enslave, enthrall, subject.
We need to follow the Will of Jesus TO THE LETTER, Brothers! So get in there and give her what she deserves for getting us kicked out of the Garden of Eden! And Merry Christmas!:thumbsup:

Bobby-Joe 12-01-2006 04:18 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson (Post 20573)
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?


Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.

Rev. Carlton Green 12-02-2006 06:44 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 20591)
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.

My wife has died two years ago, and I ain't about to go about spanking her smelly ol' corpse. x^P


Without a wife, my daughter Petunia gets double the beatings!

GLORY!!

tommy 12-02-2006 04:51 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?

Pastor Ezekiel 12-03-2006 03:41 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tommy (Post 20745)
When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?

You dare to question ANYONE's grammar, when you can't even spell the word "tense"!?

Shut up and go read your Bible boy.:glare:

Daisy Mae Johnson 12-03-2006 05:57 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 20591)
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

[/COLOR][/SIZE]

Twasn't me. However, I whole heartedly admit that I deserved the spanking Pastor Zeke gave me the other night for burning his perfectly good steak. He kept telline me I kept it on too long! I just kept saying 2 more minutes.

http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/6199/spanking1hd.jpg


Need I say more?

Word for the wise: Women are ALWAYS wrong. We NEED a man to guide us. Just like the time I INSISTED I was capable of valet parking the cars at Sunday Service when Tater and Boby Joe were out of town at a Gun Show.

http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/6600/womanlotpz0.jpg

Subservient, Sister Thumper

Remy Lebeau 12-03-2006 02:31 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
2 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson (Post 20573)
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?

I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her. :lol:

Pastor Al E Pistle 12-03-2006 07:55 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau (Post 20945)
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her. :lol:

I think you have caught one of Sicky's sisters. Be careful, those witches will cut your throat in a second!

Rachael Van Helsing 12-03-2006 10:07 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Why does this thread not surprise me? *snicker*

DAT21 12-03-2006 10:43 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau (Post 20945)
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her. :lol:

I don't have a wife but if I did, I would spank her..if she asked me to. ;)

hellion 12-04-2006 01:11 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau (Post 20945)
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her. :lol:

Don't make me send Clown after you.

Pastor Al E Pistle 12-04-2006 01:43 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by hellion (Post 21178)
Don't make me send Clown after you.

Bring it on. We stomp gimpy pimps all day long.

hellion 12-04-2006 03:14 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle (Post 21183)
Bring it on. We stomp gimpy pimps all day long.

Gimpy pimp? Have you ever met Clown? I'm not even gonna tell ya.

Frankly, I don't believe you actually do half the stuff you say you do anyway. So I'm not really worried about it. Also, the two girls in the picture are two different people whereas Remy said it was the same girl. One can't help but to be a bit skeptical.

Pastor Al E Pistle 12-04-2006 06:36 AM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by hellion (Post 21194)
Gimpy pimp? Have you ever met Clown? I'm not even gonna tell ya.

Clowns is clowns.

Frankly, I don't believe you actually do half the stuff you say you do anyway. So I'm not really worried about it. Also, the two girls in the picture are two different people whereas Remy said it was the same girl. One can't help but to be a bit skeptical.

They all look alike.

tommy 12-04-2006 12:18 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Spanking anyone is wrong, bad and can cause mental problems to both, the spanker and the spanked. In my country even children-spanking is prohibited.:lol:

Pastor Ezekiel 12-04-2006 12:33 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tommy (Post 21239)
Spanking anyone is wrong, bad and can cause mental problems to both, the spanker and the spanked. In my country even children-spanking is prohibited.:lol:

Then you live in a country that is hated by Jesus. The Bible is clear on this point. Reject God's Holy Word, and you reject God. If you reject God, then you are doomed, friend.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14

tommy 12-04-2006 12:42 PM

Re: Do you spank your wife?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 21244)
Then you live in a country that is hated by Jesus. The Bible is clear on this point. Reject God's Holy Word, and you reject God. If you reject God, then you are doomed, friend.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14

The law was submitted by the liberal government less than two years ago. All parties voted for it, the left and the right, so it's very unlikely to be changed or. amended.

My parents never spanked me, and look how sane and normal I am.:devil:

But we are a Christian nation. The nation consists of catholic majority, some other Christian churches and to many Muslim immigrants.:wacko:


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