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-   -   Please pray my five sons aren't gay (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=98714)

M. Mansfield, MD 04-25-2014 01:08 AM
Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Since their mother exhibited disobedience this past weekend, I have worried that she opened the door for demonic oppression in our home. I have seen homosexual demons try to rush in when women disobey, and I pray that my sons will be held in the arms of Jesus as He protects them from the sins of Liberace and most college fraternities.

Won't you pray for them, too? I will stone them if I must, but I'd like to see if Jesus will give me a sign that they are still real men. Please keep Blake, Franklin, Austin, Daniel, Mansfield Jr. and the son in the oven in your prayers. Bless you.

Desmond The MoonBear 04-25-2014 01:51 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
If you wish to stone five innocent people merely for the person they love then it is not they who are bad people, but you. Jesus said to love thy neighbor, I am surprised at how many people skip that one.

Mary Thompson 04-25-2014 02:14 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desmond The MoonBear (Post 1084005)
If you wish to stone five innocent people merely for the person they love then it is not they who are bad people, but you. Jesus said to love thy neighbor, I am surprised at how many people skip that one.
I'm surprised by how many people skip the rest of the Bible.

Didymus Much 04-25-2014 03:26 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desmond The MoonBear (Post 1084005)
...Jesus said to love thy neighbor...
Jesus also specified who He meant by "neighbour", and it wasn't everyone: Bible Answers: Who are our neighbors? Who are our brothers and sisters? Who are we to love?

Mother Of Seven 04-25-2014 04:23 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
If God had meant everyone, he would have said "everyone". He didn't, He specifically used the word "neighbour". For good reason.

Elmer G. White 04-25-2014 04:30 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
I am especially worried of the yet unborn son - he's in such an impressionable age. My prayers with all of them!

Yours,

Elmer

Godfly 04-25-2014 07:13 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
I've seen your sons. I think it's too late.

Brother Helge 04-25-2014 10:22 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD (Post 1083994)
Since their mother exhibited disobedience this past weekend, I have worried that she opened the door for demonic oppression in our home. I have seen homosexual demons try to rush in when women disobey, and I pray that my sons will be held in the arms of Jesus as He protects them from the sins of Liberace and most college fraternities.

Won't you pray for them, too? I will stone them if I must, but I'd like to see if Jesus will give me a sign that they are still real men. Please keep Blake, Franklin, Austin, Daniel, Mansfield Jr. and the son in the oven in your prayers. Bless you.
Demons are known to enter the body through the anus.


I think you should inspect your sons anuses every night before they go to bed for the next 3 months.
You may have to use a finger or a tool to really make sure.


I will pray for you and your sons.

Mary Thompson 04-25-2014 11:22 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Brother Mansfield:
While I'll pray for hours on end for your sons because of your wife's selfish behaviour, I believe further action has to be taken. Drop into the Freehold and get your sons private excorsisms with Pastor Ezekiel, they last two hours each and do wonders.

Ezekiel Bathfire 04-25-2014 11:40 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
1 Attachment(s)
You will probably be aided by this patented "Gaydar Meter". As you will see the needle is quietly settled at "Normal". However, should there be a "gay" within 10 yards, the meter will start to react:

Attachment 23048

Also works for the unborn child.

M. Mansfield, MD 04-27-2014 12:49 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Brother Bathfire,

Are you certain this meter works properly? It was exhibiting unusually high reactions when I sat close to it. Surely there needs to be some calibration of the instrument or something.

However: according to Pastor, my sons are completely heterosexual. I am pleased that my eldest, Blake, has a new mentor from Pacifica, a man he calls "FM." This True Christian™ man has been chatting online with Blake, showing him the ways that a young boy can get closer to God. As a father, I am grateful that this person reinforces the Godly, masculine example that I have always beaten into my son. (He can take the belt buckle I bought at a medical convention in Texas on his bare behind without wincing, now! I wept the first time it happened).

But again, Brother Bathfire - I urge you to check that meter - lest you make a false diagnosis and someone is bashed without good cause.

Yours in Our Savior,
Doc

Elmer G. White 04-27-2014 04:31 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
The meter works very well on my tablet. It is morning here, I was watching this thread and the gaymeter remaind passive. Suddenly it took a wild leap, I looked out of the window and, behold, there were two obviously homersexualistic male finches pecking at something.

My reliable Winchester took care of that. No more pulsating hops from that pointer! 1 Samuel 26:20.

Off to a long and fulfilling day of prayer and church.

Yours in Christ:jesus:

Elmer:bye:

Mary Thompson 04-27-2014 07:04 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD (Post 1084438)
Brother Bathfire,

Are you certain this meter works properly? It was exhibiting unusually high reactions when I sat close to it. Surely there needs to be some calibration of the instrument or something.

However: according to Pastor, my sons are completely heterosexual. I am pleased that my eldest, Blake, has a new mentor from Pacifica, a man he calls "FM." This True Christian™ man has been chatting online with Blake, showing him the ways that a young boy can get closer to God. As a father, I am grateful that this person reinforces the Godly, masculine example that I have always beaten into my son. (He can take the belt buckle I bought at a medical convention in Texas on his bare behind without wincing, now! I wept the first time it happened).

But again, Brother Bathfire - I urge you to check that meter - lest you make a false diagnosis and someone is bashed without good cause.

Yours in Our Savior,
Doc
This meter indeed works, it remained passive the entire time for me. It must be because there is in fact a queer in your house:fear2:!

Godfly 04-27-2014 12:20 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD (Post 1084438)
Brother Bathfire,

Are you certain this meter works properly? It was exhibiting unusually high reactions when I sat close to it. Surely there needs to be some calibration of the instrument or something.

However: according to Pastor, my sons are completely heterosexual. I am pleased that my eldest, Blake, has a new mentor from Pacifica, a man he calls "FM." This True Christian™ man has been chatting online with Blake, showing him the ways that a young boy can get closer to God. As a father, I am grateful that this person reinforces the Godly, masculine example that I have always beaten into my son. (He can take the belt buckle I bought at a medical convention in Texas on his bare behind without wincing, now! I wept the first time it happened).

But again, Brother Bathfire - I urge you to check that meter - lest you make a false diagnosis and someone is bashed without good cause.

Yours in Our Savior,
Doc
It might be you have a queer negro sneaking around your property. I wouldn't use the meter at night because queer negros are practically invisible at night so there's no way to know if the reading is accurate.

William Taester 05-10-2014 05:54 AM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
We all must pray our guts out for those kids. I can only tell you that when I was a boy, I witnessed my mother cutting corners while cleaning the house, and within moments a pack of wild demons rushed into my soul and I began re-decorating the house. it was 40 years before I found freedom from fagdom

M. Mansfield, MD 05-10-2014 10:08 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Brother William Taester:

You have no idea how timely your prayers are and how appreciative I am. While my boys have all safely been ruled out as gay, their mother continues to mock our Savior by leaving the home without permission (the police said I cannot stop her), spending time with her friend Meadow, and ignoring her duties to me and to our children. I have NO doubt that Jesus will win this battle, but it may mean divorcing my precious Jennifer.

Continue your prayers, brother.
Doc

William Taester 05-10-2014 10:45 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Perhaps she is suffering from hysteria? I've heard there is a cure for this? :pirate:

Mother Of Seven 05-10-2014 11:24 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by William Taester (Post 1087654)
Perhaps she is suffering from hysteria? I've heard there is a cure for this? :pirate:
That, Brother Taester, is a path down which we do not go, in this, God's holy forum. :nonono:

William Taester 05-10-2014 11:58 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven (Post 1087657)
That, Brother Taester, is a path down which we do not go, in this, God's holy forum. :nonono:
I do apologize for any misunderstanding, but I just meant that she needed some domestic discipline.:innocent:

Marko Loimaan-Aho 05-20-2014 08:26 PM
Re: Please pray my five sons aren't gay
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD (Post 1087645)
...mother continues to mock our Savior by leaving the home without permission (the police said I cannot stop her), spending time with her friend Meadow, and ignoring her duties to me and to our children. I have NO doubt that Jesus will win this battle, but it may mean divorcing my precious Jennifer.

Continue your prayers, brother.
Doc
Dear Mr. Mansfield
I still pray for You. Has the situation got any better?
I think divorce is out of question, unless you find her morally defiled. Deuteronomy 24:1-3


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