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-   -   Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4) (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=100495)

Elmer G. White 07-15-2014 10:36 AM

Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
1 Background

Why I went to France - French history - cowards - incompetence - lost wars - the lowest scum

In June 2014, I was invited by some French Baptists to inspect their members’ spiritual state, their current mission directives and to bring some hope and comfort to the very few people who still maintain Biblical values in this vilest of European countries. The situation in France is disastrous from the Christian perspective. I’ll present some appalling statistics about their religious views in future posts, but let it be shown here that France has only about 6500 baptists and God alone knows how many of them are false Christians in disguise. My aim was to visit some central Baptists locations in the West of France and come back in winter to see the eastern regions and the Alps, which would have been most wise in order to combine some alpine skiing and Godly after-ski to an evangelical mission.


To acquaint myself with the country, I immersed myself in French history - a sad tale of cowardice and incompetence especially regarding their war efforts. The French by THEMSELVES have actually not won a single significant war in centuries. Napoleon lost to (then more Godly) Britons, The Huns beat the Frenchies in 1870 causing the French country to become the first commie nation in the world! They initially lost both World Wars and were rescued from peril at the last moment by Godly Americans. They lost in Nam! They lost in Algeria. Heck, they even had a “pastry war” against Messicans in the early 19th century :D. Needless to say, no clear victory! Only the French would fight for cakes and pastries instead of hearty, American grilled meat (we’ll discuss the revolting French food later). The greatest “war hero” of France, Generalissimo de Gaulle, actually suggested merger with the UK when, once again, the Huns invaded his country. When this did not work out, he fled to Britain and kept fighting by producing a ridiculous wireless talk show.


And the best fighting force of France then and today is the “foreign legion”, La Légion étrangère (a grammatically FEMININE word, really!). It consists of the lowest scum of many nations. They actually form the élite force of France. Imagine: the lowest criminals of other nations are the best France has to offer to the world.



Thus, my expectations were not high. Some Bible verses do an admirable job when attempting to describe the French character:

Proverbs 28:1 - The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.
Job 18:11 - Terrors shall make him afraid on every side, and shall drive him to his feet.
1 Samuel 13:6 - When the men of Israel saw that they were in a strait, (for the people were distressed,) then the people did hide themselves in caves, and in thickets, and in rocks, and in high places, and in pits.







2 Border formalities

My gifts to French Brethren - eager officials - lost gifts - the unfortunate body cavity search

One of the Brethren of the French Baptists in the Seine-et-Marne region is an avid pottery-maker and wished to have some smooth and reddish clay for him to work. Unbeknownst of any possible threat I promised to bring him a few pounds as a gift.


Daniel 6:24 And the king commanded, and they brought those men which had accused Daniel, and they cast them into the den of lions, them, their children, and their wives; and the lions had the mastery of them, and brake all their bones in pieces or ever they came at the bottom of the den.



I should have known that being innocent means NOTHING to secular powers if they want to persecute God’s True™ children!


At the airport an officer actually asked me to open my bags. In addition to some well-preserved KJV Bibles, I had the clay wrapped in plastic to avoid loss of moisture. They took the clay to another location and I never saw it again. Nor did my French potter-friend receive it. Gradually it dawned to me they had mistaken my gift for plastic explosive. I explained the issue (je n’ai pas d’explosive plastic) to no avail (au secours!). I, too, was taken to another location (that remains ‘location’ in French) but thankfully I was to see the light of day again. And the light of Jesus, but I’m rushing ahead of things.


LADIES! DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT! PLEASE!

The disgrace.

1. I was asked to strip. Completely. That does not take place even during my marital duties. A male officer made me lift my arms and checked the armpits, I opened my mouth and another frenchie looked at my well-kept dental apparatus.


It was not over. Orifices remained.


I was asked to bend over. I refused. I was asked again. I refused. I was asked a third time. I most certainly refused. I was forcible treated into submission. A probe - not unlike the alien probes that some “fake aliens” aka demons used on me more than a decade ago on a night I care not remember - was inserted rectally and a man peeked into it.



Not over. Not yet.

Instead, I was turned over and a man touched my urethral orifice (that’s a piss slit in colloquial language but the person who refers to himself with the perpendicular pronoun in this text would NEVER utter that word aloud, even writing it causes great pain!). An elastic viewing thingy was inserted an inch into my tallywhacker causing some discomfort but also slight pain.

It was the cavity search. A Satanic ritual to increase sodomy on Earth. It is not restricted to the French but - I must say - they were very skilled at it. It is presumably a scheme to hijack homeland security into the hands of sodomists. I fully understand that mooselimb terrorists and FOREIGNERS must be thoroughly inspected but it is unthinkable that true Christians™ be given the same treatment. I immediately filled the formal complaint form.

In fact, also children are being subjected to cavity searches to gain new recruits for Satan’s sodomistic future! Here’s a new children’s book that attempts to present this rectal rape in a positive light!



2 Samuel 13:13
And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

Psalms 4:2
O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Selah.

Jeremiah 20:18
Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?









3 Re-discovery of Jesus

JESUS helps in EVERY situation - leaving the airport - the cliffhanger

My situation was hopeless. Until I remembered a gratifying verse!

Isaiah 43:2 - When thou passest through the waters, I [will be] with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Once again, there was hope! Another dear verse immediately sprang into my now joyful mind!

Matthew 1:23 - Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

God is with us. Always. Jesus is with us. Always. All the time.

Ephesians 6:12 - For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

I was still stripped on the examination tale, my innermost sanctuaries were being probed but Jesus was with me. Instead of the harsh cold metal of the examiner, I felt the sweet touch of Jesus fondling me (Galatians 2:19-20)!! He knows everything. My most secret thoughts, my most secret places. I had nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be ashamed of, as Jesus was with me and filled my being. I shed a few tears of Joy!

No-one could humiliate me! Jesus was inside my being! A secular officer cannot humiliate Jesus, thus, I was also SAFE.

Job 11:18
And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.

No thanks to the disgusting French officers, though!

I left the airport shaken but decisive to fulfill my mission. Little did I know that I was about to witness the most revolting travesty of worship as I was to visit the rural parts of cat lick France.

Beautiful France! What a load of crap!












But who cares!


http://www.tlchrist.info/1jesus_in_me.jpg

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Mistress Cookie 07-15-2014 07:13 PM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
My. God!

Our prayers are with you as you battle the sin-filled streets of Gay Paree!

This is why I just order a capsule collection of Chanel each season outright and have it sent to me, rather than travel there to select what I want. I might end up with a few pieces I don't like and have to use as kitchen rags...but at least my virtue is still intact!

I am wishing you a safe return!

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...er/boycott.gif

Attila's Wife 07-15-2014 08:27 PM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Brother Elmer, we are all worried about you. If you need to get out of there in a hurry then one of my grandsons has a modest but adequate yacht moored on the south Kent coast. If you can get to Dunkirk or Calais then he can be there in a little over an hour. You have my number....

There will be no question of body searches or indeed any formalities at all at this end, as we have good friends among the coastguard community. :thumbsup:

Benedict A. Davis 07-15-2014 09:28 PM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
A good choice of when to visit France. It is my understanding most of the country goes on vacation in June and July, so you won't have to deal with the pompous, dress wearing, catylicks that live there. With any luck you may be able to get a table in a decent restaurant. I understand that they have laws as to how many foriegn tourists they are allowed to serve, even when all of Paris is out of town on vacation. It is said that some of their meals are truly sinful! Be careful what you eat.
Quote:

Eating the Ortolan bunting
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...0px-Embhor.jpg
For centuries, a rite of passage for French gourmets has been the eating of the Ortolan. These tiny birds—captured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnac—were roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God.
The ortolan is force-fed by being placed in a dark box with millet, where as a reaction to darkness it proceeds to eat continuously. One way French diners ate ortolans was to cover their heads and face with a large napkin for the gourmet's aesthetic desire to absorb the maximum odour with the flavor. This famous use of the towel was launched by a priest, a friend of Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin.[5]

Mistress Cookie 07-15-2014 11:23 PM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis (Post 1100707)
These tiny birds—captured alive, force-fed, then drowned in Armagnac—were roasted whole and eaten that way, bones and all, while the diner draped his head with a linen napkin to preserve the precious aromas and, some believe, to hide from God...This famous use of the towel was launched by a priest...

Might really have been to disguise his identity in public....so many of the Catlicks are on Most Wanted lists for child molestation.

I believe they also eat these: (should we send you food??)

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...74e0299cdd.jpg

Pastor Ezekiel 07-15-2014 11:54 PM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
I'm Praying hard for you Brother, but if you come back wearing one of those French fag hats and prancing around with a cheese log in your pants, you're going to be in for the exorcism of your life. :angry:

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson 07-16-2014 12:47 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
I am so sorry to hear about you gift! And I dare not even think about what you had me skip. I'm sure it was awful! You are in my prayers. I can't wait to read about all the souls that you convert.

Elmer G. White 07-16-2014 02:08 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Thanks for your concern, everybody. I'm afraid my mission won't be fulfilled but I'm getting fed with important info on the sad state of this sorry excuse of a country. :( And its disgusting food or cuisine. No worries 'bout the cheese, it is half-liquid and moldy. It does not stay in log-form but runs down your pant leg.

Sister Cookie, I dare not even think what they do with women, but you might want to check some classic Angélique-movies to see the prospects of an attractive woman in France:(. The Interwebs are connected hardly anywhere, so I'm visiting a lot of cafés where they have the connections.

I'm going to finish my report after leaving the country. In the meantime they are apparently trying to get me enlisted in their foreign legion as they say something about a foot-camp all the time. Foute le camp or whatever.

I answer with this!

1 Corinthians 5:1
It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Attila's Wife 07-16-2014 06:51 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1100755)
In the meantime they are apparently trying to get me enlisted in their foreign legion as they say something about a foot-camp all the time. Foute le camp or whatever.

Isn't that something to do with soccer, which is called le foutre in French? I guess it means "This is a soccer pitch", though why they think you would care is beyond me.

The reason I know the word is that my daughter-in-law from Montreal (no longer with us, after the unpasteurized cheese incident, but she's no great loss) often used to tell her boys to go and faire foutre themselves when they were getting underfoot (that word again!) in the house.

Praying for you, Brother.

Elmer G. White 07-16-2014 07:15 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Attila's Wife (Post 1100794)
Isn't that something to do with soccer, which is called le foutre in French? I guess it means "This is a soccer pitch", though why they think you would care is beyond me.

The reason I know the word is that my daughter-in-law from Montreal (no longer with us, after the unpasteurized cheese incident, but she's no great loss) often used to tell her boys to go and faire foutre themselves when they were getting underfoot (that word again!) in the house.

Praying for you, Brother.


Thank you! Must be a colloquialism that my intensive French lessons did not include. I'll try to use it as much as I can, it will surely help me evangelize. Va te faire foutre is probably a nice way to initiate spiritual conversation as the people here are obsessed with the homergame of soccer (more about that in my report). I think I'll send a proper French letter to the people in charge of the lessons and demand compensation for missing some important everyday expressions!:angry:

Isaiah 43:27
Thy first father hath sinned, and thy teachers have transgressed against me.


J'éspere que vous foutiez bien et profondement! (I did learn the subjunctive but I'm not the one to boast!:innocent:)

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Naomi Ruth Lamb 07-17-2014 03:40 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Elmer,

Father told me to tell you to watch out for those arrondissements that are found in Paris. I'm not sure what he meant, but it seemed to be something that might carry an unspeakable disease.

Your friend,
NRL

Elmer G. White 07-17-2014 03:53 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb (Post 1100919)
Elmer,

Father told me to tell you to watch out for those arrondissements that are found in Paris. I'm not sure what he meant, but it seemed to be something that might carry an unspeakable disease.

Your friend,
NRL

Thank your Father, Sister!

I quickly checked this. I think these aroundismissals have something to do with major cat lick false churches or homersoccer based on the picture below. I'll avoid them. I think that many things here might contain the AIDS thingy contagion. There is also a 'Butt park' in the picture (see number 19, Parc des Buttes)! Precautionary action in the form of prayers has been taken.

http://myweb.unomaha.edu/~allynjohns...dissements.jpg

2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Mistress Cookie 07-17-2014 04:07 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1100755)
Thanks for your concern, everybody. I'm afraid my mission won't be fulfilled but I'm getting fed with important info on the sad state of this sorry excuse of a country. :( And its disgusting food or cuisine.

I just awoke from a horrible visions of you being kidnapped by these monsters:

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...opicana-03.jpg


Please check in often so we know you are alright!

Attila's Wife 07-17-2014 05:13 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Third from the top on the right:

http://myweb.unomaha.edu/~allynjohns...dissements.jpg

Parc des Buttes Chaumont????? DO NOT GO THERE, Brother!

Elmer G. White 07-17-2014 05:38 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Attila's Wife (Post 1100934)
Third from the top on the right:

Parc des Buttes Chaumont????? DO NOT GO THERE, Brother!

Yes, that must be THE sodomycenter of the whole disgusting country:fear2:. I so wish and pray that God or Godly America would place a nice volcano or weapons of mass destruction over there:( (I'm off Paris, THANK JESUS and my flight is scheduled for tomorrow - ghastly details to come in further reports once I escape)

Leviticus 26:32 And I will bring the land into desolation: and your enemies which dwell therein shall be astonished at it.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Mistress Cookie 07-17-2014 06:12 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Do not go to the spot called "Notre Dame," either.

I think that means "Night Lady."

Attila's Wife 07-17-2014 06:29 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
And Palais des Congrès Porte Maillot? Sex Palace, wear a swimsuit? :o

Elmer G. White 07-17-2014 06:36 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Attila's Wife (Post 1100942)
And Palais des Congrès Porte Maillot? Sex Palace, wear a swimsuit? :o

Thanks for the warnings, Ladies! :wub:

I think the Exhibitionist Centre at the bottom of that map is probably the worst of this abominable lot!:fear2:



Leviticus 18:6
None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:

Mistress Cookie 07-17-2014 06:42 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
The most stealthy and dangerous one to me looks like:

"Sacre-Coeur" = Sack Coercion (?) . (Or maybe 'Sack Cooler' ?)

Anyway, sounds bad.

Elmer G. White 07-17-2014 06:52 AM

Re: Visit France! My mission - day 1 (of 4)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie (Post 1100945)
The most stealthy and dangerous one to me looks like:

"Sacre-Coeur" = Sack Coercion (?) . (Or maybe 'Sack Cooler' ?)

Anyway, sounds bad.

It is one of the cat lick places of idolatry, Mary worship :angry: and thus a center of sodomy. -> I think that you translation is absolutely correct at least regarding the actual CONTENT of that place.

The French government is giving out incredible amounts of misinformation that lures unsuspecting people to visit their country. I'm most annoyed!
:badmood:

Yours in Christ,

Elmer:bye:


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