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-   -   Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=96728)

Jeb Stuart Thurmond 02-13-2014 04:28 AM

Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Here's a questionnaire to figure out your politics. It's based on work from some anonymous guy who based it on this questionnaire. I would have worded some parts differently, but at least it's short and covers all the main points:

Progress

Does progress exist?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about: progress.
2. We used to live in abundance and harmony with nature before Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge. It's all been downhill from there.
3. We used to live in abundance and harmony with nature before civilization. Or the industrial revolution. It's all been downhill from there.
4. Progress is real, gratitude is good. Progress consists of trading big problems for small problems.

The enlightenment, industrial revolution, and modernism:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about: the enlightenment, democracy.
2. We used to live in a noble era of chivalry, order, nobility, and piety before the enlightenment messed it up
3. We used to live in a non-stop party of mead served by rosy-cheeked buxom wenches until the industrial revolution messed it up
4. Elves are not real. To see Middle-Earth in action, visit any non-industrialized dictatorship, Zimbabwe for example.

Modernism:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:!
2. We need to ditch secularism, democracy, and all the enlightenment. So what if out of thousands of Theocracies and dictatorships in history not one has been any good? That just increases our odds, a losing streak like this can't last forever.
3. We need to ditch the industrial revolution. The Khmer Rouge messed this up, but how about we do best two out of three?
4. Primitivism and nostalgia is nonsense, and even if it was true we can't go back. We should focus on pragmatic improvements to make better future.

Human nature

Can preaching and scolding change human nature?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about preaching, bullying.
2. We just need more preaching against greedy poor people and laziness. Then everyone will donate to charity and we won't need government.
3. We just need more condemnation of greedy rich people and materialism. Then everyone will donate their work and we won't need capitalism.
4. Human nature includes greed, laziness and other unpleasantness. It is up to use to design SYSTEMS that minimize their harm, or even harness them. Thousands of years of history teach us that preaching and scolding do not change human nature.

Culture

Class War or Culture War?

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about the culture war and class warfare.
2. The class warriors distract people from the real issue: the culture war!
3. The culture warriors distracts people from the real issue: the class war!
4. War rhetoric and group identification lobotomizes political discourse. There is no natural division, the only bad guys are a tiny minority of demagogues and rent-seeking proto-aristocrats.

Flags and other symbols:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about flags and monuments.
2. Symbols are the most important thing, they let us show off our groups in your-face dominance.
3. Symbols are the most important thing, they let us show off our groups in your-face defiance.
4. Symbols are a form of simplification, if overused they turn into nothing more than tribal grunting.

A group of white musicians is playing a style of music previously only preformed by blacks:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God thinks about rock and rap music.
2. Shame them! This is an attack on white culture!
3. Shame them! This is theft of black culture!
4. This is an encouraging sign. People are free from cultural constraints. The free interchange of ideas makes us all richer.

Homosexuality:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:!
2. Grosses me out, therefore must be stopped. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE!
3. Grosses out people I don't like, so let's put it everywhere. The stronger the backlash the more evidence to continue! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE!
4. It involves consenting adults and puts no external costs on society, so what's the big deal? Let's keep expanding civil rights in the least divisive way we can.

Truth and ideas

What is the best way to determine what the truth is?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! God hates critical thinking. The Bible tells us what Truth is.
2. I already know, due to inherent qualities of my nature, character or intelligence. Truth-tellers tend to say nice things about me, agree with what I already believe, and say what I want to hear, by some coincidence.
3. I already know, due to inherent qualities of my nature, character or intelligence. Truth-tellers tend to say nice things about me, agree with what I already believe, and say what I want to hear, by some coincidence.
4. Logical appraisal of the evidence, followed by honest constructive criticism of my conclusions from others who do the same.

Are ideas dangerous?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about censorship.
2. Yes. People are easily deceived by liberals. A conservative elite should protect the gullible sheeple from brainwashing and propaganda with laws against morality-degrading porn and treason.
3. Yes. People are easily deceived by conservatives. A liberal elite should protect the gullible sheeple from brainwashing and propaganda with laws against woman-degrading porn and hate speech.
4. We should train people critical thinking and scientific literacy, a mixture of openness and skepticism. Then people can pick and chose ideas from anywhere.

Educational focus:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: schools, university, college, homeschooling, books.
2. The main job of education is preach productivity.
3. The main job of education is preach diversity.
4. The main job of education is teach citizenship, scientific literacy and critical thinking skills. Once you learn how to learn the rest is easy.

Are your political beliefs timeless?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What the Bible says about wafflers and flip-floppers.
2. Yes, in the beginning was the word, and we do not deviate. Anyone is a commie if they deviate, whatever the circumstances, whether in the past or 10,000 years in the future.
3. Yes, this is why we need to trash historical figures for failing to match today's political fads. Anyone is a fascist if they fail to meet our standards, and use our terminology, whatever the circumstances, whether in the past or 10,000 years in the future.
4. We can learn from people who were ahead of the standards their time, even if they were behind the standards of ours. I expect future generations will face circumstances I can't give advice for, and I trust future generations to be wiser than myself.

Uh oh, reality and my ideology are having an argument!

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! Even when He is lying.
2. It's an illusion, I must have been brainwashed by liberal propaganda. Flip-floppers are traitors!
3. It's an illusion, I must have been brainwashed by conservative propaganda. Sellouts are traitors!
4. Oh neat, another theory overturned. I wonder if someone is going to get Nobel Prize for this.

Is there even such a thing as "truth"?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:!
2. No, we create our own reality.
3. No, everything is relative.
4. Yes, and progressing science brings us ever closer to it.

Tactics and political process

Pragmatism or scorched-earth total war?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! GOP says "be like the Taliban"
2. Focus on destroying the liberals, our children can rebuild from the ashes.
3. Focus on destroying the conservatives, our children can rebuild from the ashes. Well, immigrant children anyway, since we don't breed.
4. Concentrate on achieving pragmatic solutions, trading bigger problems for smaller ones.

Another political faction is willing to compromise and/or trade, giving you something important, in return for getting something symbolic:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:!
2. Compromise is treason! Don't fall for the charm offensive! SYMBOLS ARE EVERYTHING!
3. Compromise is selling out! SYMBOLS ARE EVERYTHING!
4. If they're negotiating in good faith, why not? Heck, I should have offered symbols from the start, splitting people off from their coalition, and growing my own.

Someone is willing to leave a rival political faction and join yours:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about R.I.N.O.s.
2. They are tainted! They will infect the faithful! Liberals are damaged goods forever!
3. They are tainted! They will infect the faithful! Conservatives are damaged goods forever!
4. Okay, but as a test of good faith they have to teach us how they do BBQ so well.

Nationalism and internationalism

My Country, right or wrong?

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about treason, America.
2. My country is always right! Criticism is treason!
3. My country is always wrong! Patriotism is fascism!
4. Constructive criticism is what separates us from the hellholes that make us so grateful to be Americans.

Can we learn from other nations?

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! Let's emulate ancient Israel. What God says about: Foreign countries.
2. All our economic freedom rankings put Scandinavian nations around the top. Let's emulate Somalia and Iran.
3. All our quality of life rankings put Scandinavian nations around the top. Let's emulate China during the cultural revolution.
4. As long as it doesn't involve having to listen to techno, let's learn from Scandinavia and Western Europe.

Globalization:

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about: nwo, zog, United Nations, conspiracies
2. Is bad because it grows international government.
3. Is bad because it grows international corporations.
4. Good, if well-regulated.

Protectionism:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Always bad.
3. Always good.
4. Okay in poor nations. A reverse-mercantalist policy is as powerful as the best foreign aid.

Economics and organization

Size of organizations

1. OBEY THE :lord-fancy:! What God says about: big government, corporations.
2. Big government is bad. Federal governments are worse than state governments.
3. Big corporations are bad. Corporations are worse than Mom and Pop shops.
4. We need a mix. Small organizations are good at innovation and responsiveness, but size matters because there some things only big organizations can do.

Monopolies:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Monopolies are okay, as long as they are privately owned.
3. Monopolies are okay, as long as they are government owned.
4. Governments should promote competition, for example with anti-trust laws. Where competition is unfeasible ("natural monopolies"), government should run things, until technology makes competition feasible.

Technology

Better living through chemistry:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: drugs, cannabis, regulations.
2. Ban drugs, but don't regulate food, water or pollution. Unknown chemicals from a corporation can't affect you, but cannabis will turn you into a psycho killer.
3. Buy drugs, but boycott icky industrial food and western medicine. If doesn't look like something a Chinese quack took from an endangered species, I don't trust it. Unless it's street drugs from a criminal, then it's fine.
4. Legalize some drugs, but regulate their purity, along with food, water, and air. The only problem with the food and pharma industries is corporate unaccountability and the resulting loss of public trust.

Genetic Modification:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Eww icky, unnatural, stop playing God.
3. Eww icky, unnatural, stop playing Gaia.
4. Good, as long as it's well-regulated.

Vaccines:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: vaccines.
2. Bad! They turn our sons into autistic nerds and our daughters into sluts.
3. Bad! They turn our kids into autistic nerds.
4. You guys are idiots. Vaccines work.

Score:

If you answered:

Mostly 1: You are a True Christian!
Mostly 2: You are a conservative republican. A good start, but you should trust the Bible, which is of the :lord-fancy: rather than following ideology, which is of man.
Mostly 3: You are a leftist. Time to put down Trotsky, pick up Plato, and call yourself a NeoConservative.
Mostly 4: You are a Liberal and you are damaged goods forever. Get your infectious butt out of here and get ready to BURN IN HELL BABYKILLER!

Mother Of Seven 02-13-2014 06:35 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Well, that was easy :D :innocent:

Nicholas Smith 02-17-2014 05:23 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Mostly Christian, only one 3 and three 2s

Didymus Much 02-17-2014 05:27 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicholas Smith (Post 1066001)
Mostly Christian, only one 3 and three 2s

And that's good enough to get you sent to (envelope, please...):

HELL, with the rest of us. :D

James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

Sally Paulson 02-17-2014 10:59 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Too complicated. After dealing with all the hanging chads I ended up with:

Mostly 5: Pat Buchanan.

:lol:

John Allen 03-01-2014 12:05 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Well, I don't want to give myself the title of "True Christian", I haven't proven that I deserve it yet. But I do obey the Lord, and that is all the credit I will give to myself.

Not my President! 05-12-2014 07:41 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
I got mostly 1s, however on the poll, I voted that I was a conservative republican. I got a 2 on one question and in my humble opinion, that is more than enough to show my unworthiness. DAMN YOU OBAMA! TRYING TO TRICK ME INTO YOU'RE MUMBO JUMBO LIBERAL AGENDA!

:chase2:

YOU RUN! RUN LIKE THE VEGETARIAN TERRORIST YOU ARE! BUT WE'LL GET YOU EVENTUALLY!!! We will, right?

Attila's Wife 05-12-2014 08:06 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Brother Jeb, in completing this questionnaire I never got beyond reading Option 1. As soon as I saw

Quote:

OBEY THE :lord-fancy:!
I knew I didn't need to read any further.

So I have no idea whether I might have agreed with any of the other options.

To be honest, most of the time I didn't understand the question. Whether this is because of my age, my nationality or my sex I can't say. But I DO know the answers!

PRAISE HIM!

YiC
AW
:jesus:

Jeb Stuart Thurmond 05-17-2014 02:40 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Someone suggested I rename this "find out your sexual orientation using this easy questionnaire."

I guess the idea is that more people will read it if they think it involves looking at smut and measuring the result? Maybe that's overstating it, I guess anything with "sex" in the title will get more clicks than something with "politics".

The two are inseparable after all. Anyone else think I should change it?

tryingtobringsense 06-29-2014 03:41 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
I find it ironic that fours are considered bad, yet they usually make the most sense.

Didymus Much 06-29-2014 04:04 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tryingtobringsense (Post 1097246)
I find it ironic that fours are considered bad, yet they usually make the most sense.

Then you're misusing the term "ironic". Don't feel bad, it's quite common (blame Alanis Morissette :thumbdown:).

DemonThinker96 08-20-2014 04:36 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
I'm liberal, we don't eat or rape babies

Des 08-20-2014 11:18 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DemonThinker96 (Post 1106459)
I'm liberal, we don't eat or rape babies

Considering that honesty triggers anaphylactic shock in LIEberals, I wouln't expect you to say anything else.

Indian Sinner 09-06-2014 07:55 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Radical Nationalist with Socialist inspiration.

Joanna Lytton-Vasey 09-06-2014 08:14 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Don't be silly. That is not even one of the possible answers, so you are just making it up. Also, Hitler was a Nationalist Socialist.

It's quite an easy questionnaire, isn't it? I hardly even had to think about the answers. :D

Indian Sinner 09-06-2014 02:03 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Indian Nationalism does not preach violence. It preaches peace, brotherhood.

Thomas Helwys 09-06-2014 04:27 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Indian Sinner (Post 1109222)
Indian Nationalism does not preach violence. It preaches peace, brotherhood.

So when the Islamofacist Thugs invade you just roll over and let Satan have his way with you? Actually, I'm not a bit surprised that's how you'd roll.

Alvin Moss 09-06-2014 07:22 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Indian Sinner (Post 1109222)
Indian Nationalism does not preach violence. It preaches peace, brotherhood.

Adolph Hitler liked children and dogs. He preached the salvation of his race through hard work and controlling their own destiny within their own sphere.

If you Indians would close down those casinos, we would be more likely to believe that you have no sinful intent.

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson 09-06-2014 10:30 PM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Really, I didn't even need to take this quiz. My father, and then my husband will lead me in politics, and dutifully I will follow. But as for taking it on my own, it is 1...a true follower of Christ? Why should I listen to secular, heathen laws, when I have the commandments of the Lord. But I know that my father and husband are tea party members, and after reading about them and the other choices, I'm proud to say I agree with the aims of the tea party!

Xx420Illuminati666xX 05-15-2015 03:03 AM

Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
 
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid foul language pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any foul language? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than foul language to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “foul language to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just foul language me; foul language was SO cash). You are all foul language who should just kill yourselves.


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