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-   -   Heartbreak? On Easter? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=98636)

M. Mansfield, MD 04-20-2014 08:05 PM

Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Brothers,

You would think that after many years of marriage, during which I have been a faithful husband and devoted father, that I could count on enjoying one of the holiest days of the year with a little peace and quiet and carnal knowledge of my wife. But no! Here is a brief rundown of my day - the day I call "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?"

I woke up to fresh coffee and a hot breakfast, perfectly prepared - except I had asked for scrambled eggs and was instead given hard-boiled. Well, perhaps in getting the boys ready for bed, Jennifer forgot, I thought to myself. Still, when she descended the stairs, I smacked her soundly and reminded her of my desire for fluffy scrambled eggs. I dragged her into the kitchen and told her to clean my plate and prepare what I had requested. Imagine my surprise when she said, "Fix them yourself. I have to get your sons ready for church." My heart sank. Just then, my 2nd eldest son entered the room. I saw this as a learning opportunity for him and grabbed Jennifer lovingly, placing her over my lap. I swatted her behind 27 times as my son watched. "Son, someday you will know the joys of a wife. I am displaying my love for her through this discipline and also honoring God as head of this household. Do you understand?" My precious boy smiled and asked if he, too, could give his mother a spank. I was so proud, I admit that a tear almost fell - but being a man, I caught it, forcing it back into my tear ducts.

Imagine my pride as he held up his hand and came down with a loud THWAP on Jennifer's rump. He asked if he could do it again but I was hungry. Once again I ordered Jennifer to prepare my breakfast while I enjoyed the morning newspaper. Once she had finished with them, I told her that church was only an hour away and the boys were to be perfectly groomed and dressed in enough time to make it to church without delay. I also told her which dress to wear and gave her a backhand when she tried to insist on one she had already chosen. Yes - you read that correctly - she had made a decision without me.

All was well from that point until we returned home. We took the boys to spend the afternoon with our youth pastor, by the way - so we had the house to ourselves. I told Jennifer that we were going to know one another and to prepare herself for it. She looked at me and said that she was sorry, but she was in no mood to know me. She even suggested that I commit a sin of self-love. I locked her in the prayer closet after I dressed her wounds (as you can imagine, I delivered still more discipline upon hearing her words).

Is it too soon to write a letter of divorcement? Remember, her womb is full and it is another son. I had hoped for at least seven more sons - or still more if the Lord blessed me in that way. We have many years of obedient marriage during which she has been a saint when necessary and a whore when ordered to be. I am a distraught man, and yet I take courage in knowing that the LORD is pleased with me. I ask for your input. I feel she should remain in the prayer closet indefinitely, and yet I must also consider the medical care of my son.

Praise GOD I have the brothers here to come to and also Mrs. Carson down the street to fix my evening meal. I look forward to your advice.

Mary Etheldreda 04-21-2014 12:18 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Dr. Mansfield, I offer you my condolences. I know how affectionately you've spoken about your wife. I hope you don't find me too forward to ask if perhaps she is upon her monthly curse? Sometimes, I hate to admit, we can be plagued with insane thoughts as well as explosive emotional responses. Mr. Etheldred has had the misfortune of catching sight of, and naturally correcting the attitude that can accompany my time of the month, even as far as three weeks away, such is the keen eye of a True Christian™. I pray the good men here will have some advice to offer. I'll keep you and your dear Jennifer in my prayers.

JewPincher 04-21-2014 12:22 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
That is a terrible story, and I am sorry this misfortune has fallen upon you Brother! Because my wife and daughters have always been obedient, I have never had to go through a situation like this. If my wife were to speak to me like that, my belt would instantly come off and she would meet it. I would also proceed to lock her out back in the shed for a few days, maybe around a week. Do you have a shed? You may want to consider using that. Try increasing the quantity and amount of pain of her daily beatings. This will keep her in line. If something like this happens again, I would search for divorce. A wife who behaves like that is surely on her way to Hell. Good luck, Brother! And may Christ spare you more pain!

Mother Of Seven 04-21-2014 12:39 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Well done, Doc. I have mentioned to you previously my suspicions that she is a feminazi. It seems you have confirmed that. A few beatings every day should keep her in line, unless she's already gone too far for redemption.

Freddy Osborne 04-21-2014 02:07 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
I certainly hope your son is not scarred by this experience. You should certainly let him witness his mother's next few beatings to ease any mental pain that he may be suffering.

God bless.

Mary Thompson 04-21-2014 03:21 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
I had feared that your constant praise of her actions might have made her uppity. Read this thread Women and Pain and start acting tougher to your wife to regain her respect and fear.

Dutchsexfiend 04-21-2014 04:10 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
coward beat your wife
your wife should just kick you out men. no not men coward
odin has prohibited beat woman , you You will never go to walhalla

Witch Hammer 04-21-2014 06:15 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutchs (Post 1083241)
coward beat your wife
your wife should just kick you out men. no not men coward
odin has prohibited beat woman , you You will never go to walhalla

Odin is a false god, Douche. Get right with Christ and kick your wife's teeth in!:angry:

JewPincher 04-21-2014 06:50 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutchs (Post 1083241)
coward beat your wife
your wife should just kick you out men. no not men coward
odin has prohibited beat woman , you You will never go to walhalla

Maybe if you loved Christ, you could speak American. :wacko:
:kjv1611-read:

Attila's Wife 04-21-2014 06:56 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dutchs (Post 1083241)
coward beat your wife
your wife should just kick you out men. no not men coward
odin has prohibited beat woman , you You will never go to walhalla

Brothers and Sisters, I am starting to wonder where this person comes from. Her use of the American language seems to vary between just averagely poor (typical Europeon) and totally incomprehensible. Are the gooks blocking Google Translate again?

Witch Hammer 04-21-2014 08:14 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Witch Hammer (Post 1083276)
Odin is a false god, Douche. Get right with Christ and kick your wife's teeth in!:angry:

I didn't realize you were of the inferior sex. To ammend:

Odin is a false god, Get right with Christ and don't complain when your husband kicks your teeth in!:angry:

JewPincher 04-21-2014 09:37 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Witch Hammer (Post 1083300)
I didn't realize you were of the inferior sex. To ammend:

Odin is a false god, Get right with Christ and don't complain when your husband kicks your teeth in!:angry:

I'm with you, Brother! Why is she even posting in this thread in the first place. It specifically says "Men Only!" If my wife had an account and broke these rules, she would be in for a world of hurt. All women deserve top notch discipline!

M. Mansfield, MD 04-25-2014 12:58 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
I felt it was the right thing to update you regarding the strife my household endured this past weekend. Today I decided to allow my ungrateful and disobedient bitch troll from hell, Jennifer, to emerge from her punishment pound. After I made her cleanse herself, she was sent to the prayer closet for five hours. My pastor came to examine her for demons. Unfortunately, he does not have the state of the art equipment that Landover's demon league owns, but it is supposed to be 84% accurate. All tests were clean.

Pastor gave her a 100 page written examination regarding the responsibilities of womanhood (25 pages of it requires the examinee to write out recipes by memory, using exact measurements). Jennifer passed this exam with a 98%, missing only the amount of sugar to put in barbecue sauce and the proper color of shoes to wear with a chartreuse dress. I have decided that she is to sleep in a guest room for a while and submit to my every demand or face removal from the home. She has permission to emerge from the room to take care of my sons as long as she doesn't try to dote on them and turn them gay. She knows that the threat of divorce hangs over her head as a sword of Damocles.

I'm happy to report that she has been meek and receptive (both to my orders and to my physical needs) and has not spoken without my permission. God is good - all the time, don't you think? He has renewed Jennifer's mind. She prays without ceasing and asked permission to be baptized again.

From all indications, perhaps our marriage is saved. If any of you would care to offer any further advice, I'm willing to listen.

Mary Thompson 04-25-2014 02:09 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Glad to hear that things have been going well so far in her recovery of being a harlot. However, you need to avoid a relapse. Keep giving her harsh beatings and make sure she obeys your every command to the LETTER.
I wish you luck,
MT.

JewPincher 04-26-2014 03:25 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
I am also extremely happy to hear of this improvement. But don't let her forget the threat of divorce. Make sure her beatings are steadily more severe and if she acts up again, she knows the punishment coming for her.

M. Mansfield, MD 04-26-2014 08:35 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Brothers,

My mother-in-law, Edna, wants to visit us for a week. This leaves my father-in-law, Victor, to fend for himself, without home cooked meals, a clean house, and the attention of his woman at night. This breaks my heart in and of itself because Victor is a good man - he just hasn't accepted Jesus and has never properly disciplined Edna. She drives her own car, makes decisions without consulting Victor, and well - it's just disgusting when I think about it. I refused to allow the visit and instead asked Victor to come stay the weekend so we can go do manly things. It is my plan to speak to him further about Jesus. If I take him fishing, I could then baptize him and help him start a new life. But then he'd be unequally yoked! I'm in need of some further advice on this situation.

And another update: Jennifer has been praying constantly and repenting of her uppity behavior. Pastor and I made her sign a covenant of obedience. We asked Jesus to spiritually sign it in His Name so I am sure He did (Matthew 18:19). This agreement requires Jennifer to do as I say or risk not only divorcement but an eternity in Hell. It also gives complete custody of my five boys and the one yet unborn to me in the event of the dissolution of our marriage (Jesus, protect me from that). It lists stores at which she may shop (supervised), church functions she must attend, and the days on which I must be given "attention," if you know what I mean.

Well, I've been wordy like a nattering old hen so I'll hush, brothers, but keep your Godly prayers going in my behalf. I am pleased to report that not one of my sons has displayed any signs of being a fag, PRAISE! Blake, my eldest, is enjoying his new webcam and has developed a strong, holy relationship with one of the True Christian™ men of your church from Pacifica, CA. Blake calls him "FM". They've had many Skype sessions during which FM "shows him how hard it is," (I assume life) and "teaches me how to feel things deeply." I think all young men should have role models that include a Godly father, which I hope the Lord considers me, but also still more examples of manliness from other righteous and upstanding males in the protection of God's Church. It's my understanding that FM is trying to form a Christian Campmeeting for Youth called "Let's Explore Ourselves in Jesus Name." Hallelujah for men like this - and I hope you'll commend this Godly man. I know I plan to meet him one day and offer a huge donation to his coffers. :D I tried to chat with him but Blake shut off the computer when I came in, saying FM suddenly had to go.

And again, I've gone on and on. Blessings to all. :innocent:

Remember: "As long as there is Someone in the sky to protect you, there is no one that can break you." Glory to His Holy Name! :thumbsup:

Doc

Mary Thompson 04-26-2014 11:39 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
I'm so happy to hear the problems are resolved, Brother. And I wish you the best for baptizing Victor.

Mother Of Seven 04-26-2014 11:53 PM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Beware Doc, she's not cured. She's still a feminazi and is plotting against you as we speak. It's all a façade at the moment, until she accomplishes her escape with her fellow feminazi lezbeans. Wait until she births your son and then toss her out and divorce her.

Mary Thompson 04-27-2014 12:28 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven (Post 1084426)
Beware Doc, she's not cured. She's still a feminazi and is plotting against you as we speak. It's all a façade at the moment, until she accomplishes her escape with her fellow feminazi lezbeans. Wait until she births your son and then toss her out and divorce her.

But how will poor Dr. Mansfield have his cooked meals and have a clean house without his wife? He should look for a new one to take over Jennifer's role as soon as she is safely divorced.

M. Mansfield, MD 04-27-2014 01:08 AM

Re: Heartbreak? On Easter?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary Thompson (Post 1084435)
But how will poor Dr. Mansfield have his cooked meals and have a clean house without his wife? He should look for a new one to take over Jennifer's role as soon as she is safely divorced.

Ladies,

My heart is warmed by your outpouring of concern. How special you must be to the men in your lives, and how pleased must God be to see your walk with Jesus demonstrated by your humility and thoughtfulness.

I am trusting in GOD that I will not have to divorce dear Jennifer, since she is, after all, repentant and growing stronger in the Lord every day. I allowed her to watch Benny Hinn this afternoon and we enjoyed lemonade with the boys afterward. (Except for Blake, who was in his room on that silly computer again, LOL)

May the Lord richly bless you,
Doc


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