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-   -   Have your children seen God's Beaver yet? (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=77047)

Jack O'fagan 04-24-2012 08:05 AM

Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
1 Attachment(s)
If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.

The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.

HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.

As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.

Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”

Please, show your children God's Beaver,

GLORY!

Jack

Dr Laurence Niles 04-24-2012 08:30 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
I'm never to sure about beavers.

Aren't they fish? They smell of fish. I'm sure they are fish.

YIC

Noah Sole 04-24-2012 08:36 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Apparently even the pope says that they can be eaten on Fridays. I don't eat a lot of beaver myself (I don't like the taste unless it has been thoroughly washed). I don't suppose you do either Brother Laurence? With your wife leaving you and everything?

YIC

Dr Laurence Niles 04-24-2012 08:45 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

With your wife leaving you and everything?
Well she'll be laughing on the other side of her face soon enough: my new char lady is working out a treat and the house is spotless and the dinner is in the oven when I get home :thumbsup:

YIC

Noah Sole 04-24-2012 08:49 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Excellent - I'm sure she'll be sorting you out some good beaver soon.

Is she a good cook?

YIC

Dr Laurence Niles 04-24-2012 10:00 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
She says she has a great rump roast.

Can't wait :thumbsup:

YIC

Rev. M. Rodimer 04-24-2012 10:53 PM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.

All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?

Capt. Aaron Portway 04-25-2012 01:55 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan (Post 875882)
If you haven't shown your children God's Beaver yet then you really should.

The Creation Evidence Museum has some wonderful online resources for home schooling.

HERE is the great lesson on God's Beaver.

As it rightly points out, the beaver could just not happen through the 'theory' of evolution.

Dr. Baugh: “Some people say that beavers evolved all of those features one by one, but each one is necessary for the beaver to be so successful at living in its watery environment, it could not survive as it does if it was not born with the perfect combination already fully usable. You can learn a lesson from the beaver: Use what God gave you to succeed in life and when you learn how complex your own features are, remember you were created as a unique creature by a very smart and loving Creator!”

Please, show your children God's Beaver,

GLORY!

Jack

Glory indeed Brother!

A beaver could never evolve all at once, and I'll tell you from experience that if you cut of their tails or knock out their teeth, they die in a matter of days. Scientists are idiots for suggesting that beavers without big flat tails or huge teeth could have survived in the past!:wacko:

On a related note, muskrats meet the same fate as beavers if you bash them in the face with a shovel, knocking their teeth out. They can live longer without their tails though. Maybe that's because God gave them smaller ones.

So, after your children are well versed in the glory of our furry little friend the beaver, introduce them to God's other perfectly created, but dissimliar little pal, the muskrat!:thumbsup:

http://webpages.charter.net/trapperm.../muskrat01.jpg


The wily and intelligently designed muskrat. Take THAT evolutionists!



.

Henry Poppendorfer 04-26-2012 01:12 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
I make sure to let my own children know about not just the one beaver, but that ALL beavers are God's beavers. At least, so long as those beavers are doing the Lord's work. Of course, sometimes my kids ask how God's beavers stand being so hot and hairy in the summertime if they never get shaved, and I just tell them it's because they get so soaking wet. Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!

Noah Sole 04-26-2012 08:38 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer (Post 876815)
Kids ask the funniest questions sometimes!

That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.

YIC

Thinks Design 04-26-2012 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer (Post 876277)
While I agree that God's Creation is perfect in every way, I've always been confused about one thing: Toenails.

All mine ever do is cut my good socks if I don't trim them really short. What are they for?

You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.

Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!

Yuck!

The Designer gets it right again: there is purpose in everything.

ThinksDesign.

Rev. M. Rodimer 04-26-2012 04:41 PM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ThinksDesign (Post 876910)
You are right about the Designer making things perfectly.

Toes nails are for support as we put downforce on our toes as we walk or run. Imagine the mess we would make if the top of our skin on our toes was compressed by our distal phalanx!

That makes no sense. People walk just fine when they've lost their toenails due to fungal infections or injury.

Maybe God just wants to keep women busy darning our socks!

Henry Poppendorfer 05-06-2012 11:26 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Noah Sole (Post 876905)
That's very true Henry, my oldest son wants to know why beavers smell of fish? He says they aren't fish, they don't ingest fish and seem to fill themselves with wood. So why the smell? I suggested he bring it up at Sunday School.

YIC

Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.

Noah Sole 05-06-2012 02:20 PM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Henry Poppendorfer (Post 882128)
Hmmm, I think I see the problem: Beavers get wet with the water fish have been swimming in, thus when they get all wet and soaked, they stink of fish. Of course, it doesn't hurt them any, all they're looking for is a nice stiff log, and I'm sure the wood doesn't mind.

My wife was looking over my shoulder as I read that. She shouted 'Thanks' and has now gone for a shower. What was that all about? Funny things women...:(

Pastor Ezekiel 05-07-2012 03:47 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Beavers stink to high Heaven and they taste nasty (so I've heard) so I want nothing to do with them. :bad:

stanismyhero 05-15-2012 11:30 PM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
So gods a female and a pedophile?!

Capt. Aaron Portway 05-16-2012 12:09 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stanismyhero (Post 886147)
So gods a female and a pedophile?!

No.

and . . .

No.

James Hutchins 05-16-2012 12:15 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stanismyhero (Post 886147)
So gods a female and a pedophile?!

Friend, there is only one God. You may worship a female and you may also worship a pedophile. But not us.

Pastor Ezekiel 05-16-2012 02:55 AM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by stanismyhero (Post 886147)
So gods a female and a pedophile?!

Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe? :huh:

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself. :rtfm:

Alphonse Alban 05-16-2012 02:41 PM

Re: Have your children seen God's Beaver yet?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 886184)
Who is this "stan" that you worship? Your queer boyfriend maybe?

I don't think he is worshiping stan. Stanismy is an old commie name, no idea about the hero though. Maybe it translates to some working class hero or other marxist crap.


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