Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation
As you know, I refuse to let anybody in my family get flu shots. Consequently, we're all doing a lot of sniffling and sneezing right now, what with it being the middle of cold and flu season. We're doubling down on our regimen of prayer, vitamin C, and excellent homeopathic remedies, but our need for Kleenex is still great enough that I thought I'd save a little money and order in bulk from Amazon.
http://forthemommas.com/wp-content/u...4-kleenex1.jpg Well you can probably imagine my dismay when I read the following customer review, by one Mrs. James O. Thatch: Quote:
There is just so much wrong here. How can a mother be so weak that she just cedes control of her home to her sons' baser impulses? She didn't say whether this is a Christian household, but the man of the house is clearly weak and lazy, for he has all but abdicated the throne God wants him to sit upon: Quote:
Please share your tips and tricks for keeping the self abuse demon out of your homes! |
Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation
Just remind your teenage boys:
http://cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivat...1268019875.jpg That should be enough to stop them, if you've raised them correctly. |
Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation
My world-famous Steps in Overcoming Masturbation is the best help available to Christians struggling with the perversion of spilling their sweet, precious seed. :rtfm:
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Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation
Quote:
Frankly it doesn't help most women dress like she-harlots these days but with Christ help we can beat the masterbation habit! |
Re: Heartbreaking: Mom allows teen boys to turn home into den of masturbation
During my years as a smack shooting, Goetic wizard, I would sometimes masturbate for days at a time, channelling the sexual energy like a weapon into the minds of my enemies, driving them irreversibly insane and feeding their astral bodies to my praeternatural familiars.
Eventually these contemptible practices attracted the displeasure of Christ Jesus, who had me imprisoned as protection against the Mesmeric phantoms that had all but usurped my very soul. Raped with claw hammers by a gang of Odinists within the day, my colon went missing during the resultant rectal prolapse, and now most likely regales the altar of my former enemies. I believe my anus was specifically targeted (perhaps by reptilians) to extract the dark power I had stored up inside of it. God knows the horrors they have committed in this world and others, wielding a weapon of such magnitude, if they did not destroy themselves in the process. Anyway, that is what masturbation will get you. |
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