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-   -   10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=44593)

Bobby-Joe 07-14-2014 02:34 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Who won the World Cup? GERMANS!

What nationality was Hitler???

Mistress Cookie 07-14-2014 05:55 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 1100517)
Who won the World Cup? GERMANS!

What nationality was Hitler???

This is so true, it doesn't even have to be said, my friend. It's just understood by all True Christians™. But that's not who we're dealing with in this thread, sadly :(

There's a growing mountain of evidence that the Chancellor has been spotted at many soccer events...leading to the reopening of the assumption that he even died. I think there was a television show about it once.

The soccer teams may be harboring this fugitive!

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...ver/soccer.jpg

Pastor Ezekiel 07-14-2014 09:54 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Did you know that the so-called "hero of the American Soccer team" (Tim Howard) is an actual retard?

It's true. He's not the mongolid type of retarded, he's the kind that shouts out oscenities in Church and then claims he can't help it, because he's a retarded. :bad:


Bjorn Jensen 07-14-2014 11:27 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 1100517)
Who won the World Cup? GERMANS!

What nationality was Hitler???

Australian I heard.

Bobby-Joe 07-15-2014 03:48 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Viking (Post 1100572)
Australian I heard.

And the difference?

Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson 07-15-2014 05:41 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
In a way, I am glad the United States didn't win. Despite living in a land of sin, we are not at the point of being so good at it, that we won the contest to seeing who could be the most sinful!

Bjorn Jensen 07-15-2014 10:33 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe (Post 1100597)
And the difference?

None as far as I'm aware of, those Aussies, Germanese and Swedenmarkians are all the same to me.

Don_Frijolero 10-27-2014 03:04 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond (Post 538570)
Now this gives the term "pothead" a whole new meaning. Also, isn't this guy the soccer player who bit off another soccer player's ear? And remember that time when a soccer player hired a hitman to club another soccer player's knee before the big game?

You never hear about American athletes doing anything like that.

two words for you my son Ray Rice .

Don_Frijolero 10-27-2014 03:10 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Mija.. What about Micheal Sam.. His pretty gay.. I mean very gay.. Like REALLY REALLY GAY !!!!!

Don_Frijolero 10-27-2014 03:15 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie (Post 1100525)
This is so true, it doesn't even have to be said, my friend. It's just understood by all True Christians™. But that's not who we're dealing with in this thread, sadly :(

There's a growing mountain of evidence that the Chancellor has been spotted at many soccer events...leading to the reopening of the assumption that he even died. I think there was a television show about it once.

The soccer teams may be harboring this fugitive!

http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/o...ver/soccer.jpg

OH HONEY.... So much is wrong with you. It's Photoshop ..... I know that this might come to surprise but Hitler is dead... Its OKAY we will get through this together . XOXO ♥

Ex-soccer player 10-27-2014 04:50 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Don_Frijolero (Post 1116558)
I know that this might come to surprise but Hitler is dead

Hitler is dead? I don't think so. His evil spirit lives on and on in soccer stadiums all over the world! It's a well known fact that almost all soccer fans are neo-nazis! Those who claim not to be nazis are disgusting homers (or liars). What's your persuasion?

Don_Frijolero 06-02-2015 04:12 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
***vulgarity removed by moderator***

Alvin Moss 06-03-2015 03:42 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Don_Frijolero (Post 1147210)
***vulgarity removed by moderator***


Look here, Don; strong language is never welcome.

Titus Templeton 06-03-2015 11:18 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
I've heard the nazi leader of soccer has stepped down.

SoldierofChrist 06-16-2015 03:20 AM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
As a child my parents shielded me from this acursed sport, now that I realize all the evils involved I am so thankful

worshiper29 06-21-2015 11:58 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Anyone that disagrees with the truth that God hates soccer is going to hell, period. Gays = spread evil = more gays = modern day Sodom and Gomorrah.
Look at those photos. It's clear as day, that the sporting fields turn into a modern day queer debauchery filled with evil.

I'd be happy to see the field light on fire in front of them similar to what is described in Jude!

Jude 1:7:

Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

Brother Gonzalez 09-06-2016 12:56 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
If this is a sport hated by God, why do the Catholic Church support it? If this is a sport that is sinful, why do Catholic countries have such big crows following it?


Well, because this happens on TV on Sunday night:
http://elmeme.me/static/uploads/imag..._main_full.jpg


And then this happens on Monday morning:


http://diocesedepauloafonso.com.br/w.../07/Dia-14.jpg


It is always about the children with the Catholic Church.

AnalyzingLutheran 11-01-2016 06:24 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man (Post 538562)
#1 Soccer is all about lying and cheating!
The most common way to win a soccer match is to trick the referee into giving you a penalty by feigning an injury, to make it appear as if a foul has been committed. Soccer players are specialized in dropping down and pretending to be hurt. They study children of 3 years or younger to learn how to perfect this technique. If the match is very important, like a world championship, they usually just bribe the referee to win. Proverbs 6:16-19 "... the LORD hate ... a lying tongue ... A false witness that speaketh lies ..."

#2 Soccer players want to be treated like prophets!
Too weak or slow to play football? Play soccer. Too short or slow to play basketball? Play soccer. Even though soccer doesn't require any athletic talent or advanced motor skills, soccer players somehow convinced themselves to be very special. Huge crowds of drunk soccer fans worship these arrogant brats as if they are Jesus Christ Himself. Matthew 24:24 "... false prophets ... deceive the very elect."

#3 Soccer is mostly about sex and drugs!
In 1974 the Dutch lost the World Championship soccer because their players had so much sex and drugs before the world cup final with Germany that they forgot to show up. Someone even wrote a book about it! Ephesians 5:18 "... be not drunk ..."

#4 Soccer players are extremely lazy!
If you have a very strong stomach and you can watch soccer for a few minutes without puking your guts out, just pay attention to a single player. It doesn't matter which one. Most of the time this player will either be standing still, or slowly walking from one place to another. If you look even closer you will notice all players only cover a small part of the playing field to minimize the chance of getting tired to an absolute minimum. Proverbs 12:24 "... the lazy man ..."

#5 Soccer prevents people from going to Church!
Most soccer training and soccer matches are on Sundays! Satan deliberately designed soccer this way to doom as much people as possible to Hell by preventing them from going to Church! Acts 20:17 "... the elders of the church."

#6 Soccer makes people gay!
Soccer is all about grown man hugging and touching each other in ways only gays would approve off. The favorite part of a soccer match is when the actual match is over and all players can get naked together in a huge shower. There is not a single soccer player in the world who is not gay. It's reasons like this that make ultra-gays like Sir Elton John a soccer fan! Romans 1:26-27 "... burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly ..."
http://www.soccersucks.net/soccer_perversion_23.jpg http://www.soccersucks.net/soccer_perversion_18.jpg http://www.soccersucks.net/soccer_perversion_3.jpg

#7 God has sent us many signs He hates Soccer!
God has warned humanity many times by sending crystal clear signs that He hates soccer! Clear signs like the Heyse Stadium disaster, the Hillsborough disaster, the Orkney Stadium Disaster, the Ellis Park Stadium Disaster and the Accra Sports Stadium Disaster leave 0% room for doubt that God hates soccer with a vengeance! Luke 18:27 "... The things which are impossible with men are possible with God."

#8 Soccer supporters are extremely violent!
If a bunch of soccer hooligans would have attacked Afghanistan, we would have won already! Soccer violence is without limits and is the most extreme form of violence known to man. Soccer hooligans are all totally insane psychopaths who completely lose every shred of humanity. Psalm 73:6 "... violence covereth them as a garment ..."

#9 Soccer and fascism are actually the same thing!
No one in their right mind can deny the connection between soccer and fascism. It is very common for soccer fans to wear Nazi symbols and to shout Nazi insults during soccer matches. In German concentration camps zyklon was used to kill as many Jews as possible. For this reason Umbro named their extremely popular soccer shoe Zyklon!

The English (!) soccer team in 1938:
http://www.soccersucks.net/soccer_fascism_4.jpg

#10 France is successful at soccer!

And to prove for once and for all that God really really hates soccer, just note that France is successful at soccer! :fear2: Psalm 9:17 "... all the nations that forget God."

All people wasting time on soccer need to repent and accept Jesus Christ as their savior! Until then, they will suffer and they will burn in Hell along with people wasting time on Tennis, Golf, Cricket, Gymnastics, Swimming, Ice Skating, Lacrosse, Curling, Rugby, Softball, Cycling, Hiking, Horse Racing, Skiing, Snowboarding, Triathlon, Wrestling, etc.

I am afraid I must disagree with you kind sir. Here are my points.


1: There are many precautions that prevent foul play from occurring in soccer.


2: Soccer requires many skills, including hand-eye coordination, high stamina, and strong leg muscles. They must also be able to analyze their current situation and their options at any given time. The reason soccer players have such high confidence is because of their coaches using the placebo effect. This also applies to physical abilities. If you did not read the article on the placebo effect, simply put, if you believe that you can do something, you will be more likely to succeed.


3: You cannot base the entire sport after one instance.


4: Speed is not always a good thing. The average match lasts for over two hours, so the players must conserve their energy for when they need it. As for the players covering only a small part of the field, they must be near the action, so that they can act when needed. There are two situations, they have the ball, or the other team has the ball. If they have the ball, they must stay close together so that they can pass the ball if the ball is about to be stolen. If the other team has the ball, they must be close together in order to minimize the opportunities for the opponent to pass.


5: Most sports games are held on Sunday, so by that logic, every sport is meant to keep people away from church. Also, many soccer matches start after church ends, so there is no reason to not be able to go to church and enjoy soccer.


6: Have you never hugged a close friend? Also, many places have showers without barriers, such as a public pool.


7: Natural Disasters destroy all kinds of places.


8: So are many other people. Humans are sinful by nature, you cannot limit this sin to only one group.


9: The "Nazi Symbol" also known as a swastika, used to be a symbol of well-being. Was your footage before WWII? Also, it is possible to know more than one language, and to use curse words in another language to avoid prosecution of those who do not speak it.


10: There is nothing wrong with France. There are many French Christians! The fact that France is successful at soccer doesn't prove anything.




I doubt I've changed your mind, but I hope I've given you food for thought.

Mary Etheldreda 11-01-2016 07:00 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AnalyzingLutheran (Post 1193183)
I doubt I've changed your mind, but I hope I've given you food for thought.

I suspect the only thing you've given our dear, elderly friend is heartburn. Did you think he was ignorant of these modern excuses to tempt children into embracing yet another quick path to Perdition? Do you not think the world doesn't have enough lies and trickery to seduce our children right into Satan's arms? If you are one of Satan's recruiters, you won't have any takers here, dear. We love Jesus.

Phil Ander 11-29-2016 12:26 PM

Re: 10 Reasons why GOD HATES SOCCER!
 
Double strike!


Sinful soccer and sinful Brazil reel before God's power


http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2...lombia-76-dead


And, as a little sideshow, He set forth a tempest on the crash site.


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