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-   -   My neighbor is a terminator! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=84278)

lukasekman 11-07-2012 08:23 PM

My neighbor is a terminator!
 
I have an urgent problem. My new neighbor is a terminator. He talks exactly like a robot (monotonic voice), because he is obviously a robot disguised to look like a human. I am pretty sure he is programmed to annihilate mankind, or at least perform an abortion (read: punch the belly) on a random woman that is supposed to give birth to a resistance leader.

I have no idea which cult would bring this mechanical monster into my city, maybe Scientology, Apple, Aum Shrin Kyu or that Korean Moon worship cult. What should I do?

These are the options I can think of right now:
* Hijack the robot and try to disassemble it.
* Hire a next door computer wizard to hack into the robot OS.
* Coordinate a communion prayer effort to protect innocent people.
* Alert the police.

John North 11-07-2012 09:27 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
I would go for option number 2; re-program the robot. Program it to spread the word of God. As a robot, it shouldn’t be obliged to obey secular law (as described in 1st Peter 2:13-17, Romans 13:1-7, not a man and no soul). A killer robot, not having to follow secular law, executing the commands of the KJV 1611 Bible… It’s something appealing about that thought.

Born Again Pablo 11-08-2012 03:47 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
My brother! You must retreat far far away from this source of sin and corrupt essence! This surely be the work of Lucifer and his damned dreaded minions "scientists". Brother if escape is not an option I regret to inform you that you will be tainted by the essence and you will need to perform self purification in which you will go on a journey to meet the Lord himself. Tomorrow please begin the ceremony. First take a container of sheep blood. Smear the holy blood onto your face and chest. For then you can carefully cut your own throat and be on your way to God. IF you are a true believe of God then you will do this or you will be deemed a coward and an obvious enemy of God. Good luck to you brother. May your journey be righteous and swift. :jesus:

Didymus Much 11-08-2012 05:18 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Born Again Pablo (Post 947394)
...yada yada yada... :jesus:

Blah blah intro forum.

Blah blah blah your church, favourite Scripture, blah blah blah.

Blah.

Cranky Old Man 11-08-2012 10:07 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Born Again Pablo (Post 947394)
For then you can carefully cut your own throat and be on your way to God.

While I always applaud annoying people making the world a better place by killing themselves, it should be noted suicide is not allowed and will end with eternal damnation in Hell.

UnicornsAreReal 11-08-2012 11:35 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
Most likely you are hallucinating.

Dr Laurence Niles 11-08-2012 11:38 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UnicornsAreReal (Post 947453)
I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
Most likely you are hallucinating.

What?

Are the internets in the Bible(KJV1611)?

Think on, missy!

YIC

Zechariah Smyth 11-08-2012 11:54 AM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UnicornsAreReal (Post 947453)
I don't believe in terminators because they aren't in the Bible.
Most likely you are hallucinating.

I can assure you that Lukasekman is not on LSD. Only liberals hippies and college professors use hallucinogens.

UnicornsAreReal 11-09-2012 12:50 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurence Niles (Post 947455)
What?

Are the internets in the Bible(KJV1611)?

Think on, missy!

YIC

No, I don't believe in the internet either.

Zechariah Smyth 11-09-2012 01:06 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UnicornsAreReal (Post 947708)
No, I don't believe in the internet either.

What kind of retard comment is that? You do realize that we are having this discussion on the internets, right?

:wacko:

lukasekman 11-12-2012 05:27 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Another neighbor of mine told me today that the robot might be an actual human with autism. Sounds like bull to me. No way that a virus can transform a human being into a mechanical killing machine. I'm sure even a*tists realize that humans are born while robots are built.

UnicornsAreReal 11-17-2012 08:51 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth (Post 947713)
What kind of retard comment is that? You do realize that we are having this discussion on the internets, right?

:wacko:

I thought I was just talking to my Bible.

Zechariah Smyth 11-17-2012 08:55 PM

Re: My neighbor is a terminator!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by UnicornsAreReal (Post 950470)
I thought I was just talking to my Bible.

Why would you be talking to your Bible? You should be listening.

(Proverbs 19:20) "Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end."

YiC,

Zech


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