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-   -   Jap Fart Wars (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=96040)

Pastor Ezekiel 01-16-2014 03:26 AM

Jap Fart Wars
 
For reasons I cannot fathom, the slants are obsessed with flatulence. I know the smell is satan's favorite. These godless gooks never cease to amaze me with their creative ways of offending Jesus. :thumbdown:

Apparently, the chinks have a rich history of waging wars and contests using farts. From ancient times to modern, they gleefully let go with the foulest of odors. I'm interested in any theories you might have for why the slopes engage in this revolting behavior.




Mother Of Seven 01-16-2014 04:06 AM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Well, I think I'm well qualified to answer this, as I have never passed wind(being a lady) and my poo doesn't stink, either :)


The Bible makes very little reference to it:
Isaiah 16:11
Therefore my inner parts moan like a lyre for Moab,
and my inmost self for Kir-hareseth.


But I think the Japs f**t so much because:
they don't believe in God
they eat strange things like fish eye soup and seaweed
they're dirty lying scoundrels

Alvin Moss 01-16-2014 04:20 AM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
That is powerful testimony, Pastor.

These are the slant eyed barbarians who bombed Pearl Harbor. They are a nation of Buddists who favor sharp knives. Luckily, they are far away from America; away on the other side of the world near to China.

God's stance is clear. He made us irradiate them in the last century. He has Himself rent the fabric of their islands with great earthquakes and washed them with mighty waves. Recently, He irradiated them Himself.

God must hate those unsaved wretches with a burning passion. Surley, His wrath will destroy them before too long.

Mark L. Snyde, PhD 01-16-2014 04:27 AM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
What sad little men...it sounded like the flatulence of little girls, like piccolo trumpets. They would faint if I got up there and let loose one of my rumbling BB♭ glissandos.

However, I would never make such a shameful and disgusting public spectacle of myself. Being a nation largely without the guiding morals of the Bible, how can they know what is right and what is wrong?

Flatulence is not mean to be an amusement:

Quote:

Isaiah 16:10-11 (1611 King James Bible)

And gladnesse is taken away, and ioy out of the plentifull field, and in the Uineyards there shalbe no singing, neither shal there be shouting: the treaders shall tread out no wine in their presses; I haue made their vintage shouting to cease.

Wherefore my bowels shal sound like an harpe for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kir-haresh.
I would conjecture that this kind of behavior, showing a lack of proper restraint and shame for pressure gradients across their rectal sphincters, stems from the lasting physical and emotional scars that were the result of forcing us to nuke them to curb their aggression during World War II.

Mother Of Seven 01-16-2014 04:41 AM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
What are those things at the start of the video? They look like dried monkey's p**** items from that Icelandic museum. Then the way they poke their buttocks out and the microphone goes right in - dirty faggot stuff clearly.

Attila's Wife 01-16-2014 09:55 AM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven (Post 1056601)
The Bible makes very little reference to it:
Isaiah 16:11
Therefore my inner parts moan like a lyre for Moab,
and my inmost self for Kir-hareseth.

The only reference I recall is from the story of Caleb's daughter Achsah: not only is there flatulence, the hussy lights it!

Joshua 15:18 And it came to pass, as she came unto him, that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted off her ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wouldest thou?

see_the_light 01-16-2014 03:50 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss (Post 1056604)
That is powerful testimony, Pastor.
.

God's stance is clear. He made us irradiate them in the last century. He has Himself rent the fabric of their islands with great earthquakes and washed them with mighty waves. Recently, He irradiated them Himself.

Yes, that instance of GOD's direct irradiation makes me wonder if that wasn't HIM reminding the US of America that we were overdue on a reprise of our previous work.

PRAISE THE LORD!

MostlyWierdmormons 06-15-2014 01:21 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven (Post 1056601)
Well, I think I'm well qualified to answer this, as I have never passed wind(being a lady) and my poo doesn't stink, either :)

Ma'am.. on a scale of 1,000 to 1,001.. how retarded are you? If you were to have nwver farted before, you would be dead. And your poop.. well It us supposed to smell due to germs and such. So if you go all "perfect" lady on the internet. Research what you say. A bunch of narrowminded retards who are too stupid (atleast you are) to even begin to understand the concept of science or whats just called FUN

Zechariah Smyth 06-15-2014 01:28 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MostlyWierdmormons (Post 1094480)
Ma'am.. on a scale of 1,000 to 1,001.. how retarded are you? If you were to have nwver farted before, you would be dead. And your poop.. well It us supposed to smell due to germs and such. So if you go all "perfect" lady on the internet. Research what you say. A bunch of narrowminded retards who are too stupid (atleast you are) to even begin to understand the concept of science or whats just called FUN

Wait: someone who misspells their own user name calling someone ELSE retarded???

:lol:

I'll give you one more chance, kid.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Mother Of Seven 06-15-2014 01:53 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Mr Wired Mormon, True Christian™ ladies do not pass wind. Nor do we have germs. Ick!

MostlyWierdmormons 06-15-2014 01:56 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
May I ask why you changed my username sir? because I just signed in with mormons not mormons

Zechariah Smyth 06-15-2014 01:58 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MostlyWierdmormons (Post 1094492)
May I ask why you changed my username sir? because I just signed in with mormons not mormons

:wacko:

Mother Of Seven 06-15-2014 02:00 PM

Re: Jap Fart Wars
 
So which tabernacle do you attend?


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