Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again!
My fellow brothers and sisters,
Praise Jesus for allowing me to be here tonight posting on this here forum! PRAISE SWEET JESUS! I feel it is proper to introduce myself. I am the Rev. Jim Osborne. You all know me right? Well, in case some of you are under the age of 25, you might remember me from PTL's "Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Gospel Hour" in the 1980's. I was a successful televangelist. I saved millions of confused souls around the globe and showed them that Jesus wants everybody to have Wealth and Health. I used the gifts of the Lord to witness to the unsaved. I brought prosperity to my faithful television congregation. The Lord had blessed me with me with the sweet life. A sprawling mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean, a beautiful wife, and a fleet of high-end European luxury automobiles. It was the Lord's way of giving thanks back to me for preaching his Word. It all came to a crashing halt in the fall of 1989, when the Fox TV show "A Current Affair" with Maury Povich televised a brutal exposé on my sins. I was embezzling tithes and church dollars to finance my Rolls-Royce obsession and $10,000 a night 5-star hotel stays in exotic locales. It wasn't long before seedy photographs surfaced of me in a compromising position with a Thai transsexual prostitute. I pleaded on camera for forgiveness. I admitted I sinned. But, the Justice Department filed charges on me for various crimes such as embezzlement, fraud, racketeering, and pandering. I spent the next 15 years in a Federal penitentiary. That is when I re-dedicated myself to the Lord Jesus Christ and became born again...again. Upon release, I swore to our Lord, myself, and all those I love that I will be a better person. I am truly sorry for all the sins I have committed in the past. Now, I am re-establishing my televangelist career. I appear around 3:00 am on weekends on public access, using a rented studio, preaching to the unsaved. I use myself as an example of a wonderful human being who could not resist temptation and turn to sin. I now turn to you, my dear Landover Baptist Church. I am no longer the hypocritical, greedy, scheming, duplicitous, conniving scoundrel that I was. I am simply a humble man, bowing before God, asking for forgiveness. PRAISE JESUS that I am outside of bars, back into the real world!!! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!!! |
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Well Shout glory! If it isn't Rev. Osborne!! I remember you from back when I was just a kid! I caddied for you one weekend out at Royal County Down when you played a foursome with Pastor Deacon Fred and a couple of Playboy Bunnies (Miss April and Miss October if I remember correctly). What a weekend that was. I wonder if you remember... :hmmm:
Anyway, it's great to see you here! I hope you'll stick around and stay out of trouble this time. Let me know if you need anything sir. :thumbsup: |
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Hmm...well, Pastor Deacon Fred and I did have a foursome with two Playboy Bunnies, but it wasn't at a golf course. :hmmm: If I recall correctly, you caddied for us at Royal County Down when we had the Penthouse Pets with us. Playboy, Penthouse, so easily confused! :lol: Anyways, it's great to be back! |
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Wow, all this greatness in one place. I am truly humbled!
Rev. Jim, if you ever need anything moved discreetly by truck, give me a call. I extend this courtesy to all the respected Pastors and Reverends at Landover, no charge my pleasure. |
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I'll get in contact with you later so that we can do business. Thanks, pal! |
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Reverend, there is never a charge for the upstanding Elders at Landover. I just piggy back you items on another load. ;)
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I hate to speak against my brothers, but you sicken me "reverend". Coming from Godless UK, I had to fight for my faith. I was raised to believe that there was no God, and that lying, cheating and stealing was just the way things were.
However, thanks to His Glory, I found my path to Him. Since then, I have not strayed from the Light once. It has been hard, it has been tough, but I stand testament that, despite all the filth around me, the Lord's love still has power over evil. You on the other hand, who had it all on a plate, would make a mockery of God. Here at Landover, we use our tithes to build a better world for us all to live in, not mansions. It is not mine to reserve judgement, however, and I see that the Lord has punished you as He saw fit. Therefore, I welcome you back to the fold, albeit cautiously. You will excuse me if I retain my reservations. |
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Oh BTW, Brand is sending you a copy of his discipline tape "The Gentle Use of Bondage For Loving Christians". The videos can be had by others for the mere price of $19.95 for set 1987-1990. PM me for more details. |
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"conniving" ?
learn to spell. |
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You have made a total of three posts in our Godly forum. You made an obvious capitalization error in one of those posts. This one is about a typo in a thread that is three months old. Also, you did not bother to quote the actual post where the typo was located. Why are so full of pride and anger? Do you not know that Jesus wants you to be saved |
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Even an ignorant wop like me know it's a proper English word. What's your point? |
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What is your obsession with Rev. Jim? You bring up a post that's over a year old and start tearing him apart with baseless accusations?
I've dealt with the Good Reverend and I can tell you that he is nothing if not an upright True Christian™. |
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How is Jim at threading a :camel: through the eye of a needle?
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Mathew 19:24 Quote:
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Rev. Jim,
As a relative newcomer on this forum I've not had the pleasure of meeting you. You seem to be in good standing with the forum elite, so that's good enough for me. I must admit, with a face as kind and trusting as yours, your past sins are hard to believe - but since you have such a trusting face, I find my trust with you (even though we haven't met) absolute!!! So much so, that if you are back for good, I'd like to be the first person to step forward, give you my credit card number and make a generous tithe!! I'll PM you that shortly. John. |
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