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-   -   Prayer For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion Answered! (http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=47767)

Pastor Ezekiel 08-07-2010 05:45 AM

Prayer For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion Answered!
 
Brothers and sisters, as you all heard me announce last Sunday in church, the notorious atheist thug Christopher Hitchens has been stricken by Jesus with throat cancer. I praise Jesus for this, as I know you all do as well. His will be done. :yahoo:



I think it is particularly appropriate that Jesus has chosen to strike Mr. Hitchen's voice box, as it has been the atheist's main weapon in convincing people to worship satan. This particular atheist has spent years giving lectures and writing thick books espousing the typical hatred that atheists espouse, and so he has a lot to answer to Jesus for. If he follows his chosen path, he will certainly be hurled down into the deepest abyss of hell, there to be tortured in unspeakable painful ways for all eternity. One can only imagine...:Jumpy:

But friends, I have been touched by this miserable, obese, alcoholic foreign godmocker's plight. As America's leading True Christian™ Pastor, I feel it is my Christian duty to do everything I can to get this angry sinner Saved and sent to Heaven. Yes I do. :gleam:

Therefore, I am calling on all my Prayer Warriors to start Praying today to CONVERT CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS FOR CHRIST and that he be WASHED CLEAN OF SIN IN JESUS' SWEET, SWEET BLOOD. I'm ordering round the clock Prayer on this one, because the demons he worships are strong. Use whatever it takes, Prayer Warriors. Time to do battle with satan and post your Prayers here.

I'm putting a $1 million bounty on Christopher Hitchen's soul. Bring him to Christ and you shall be *rewarded. :thumbsup:






*Certain conditions apply. Must be a practicing True Christian™ with tithes paid in full. Must bring material evidence of the conversion. Offer void where prohibited.

Rev. Jim Osborne 08-07-2010 06:08 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
What an excellent idea, Pastor Zeke! But, allow me to sweeten the deal for anyone who participates. As you all know, God especially listens to me more than most people because I am a pure, perfect, Christlike man. It's like most people's prayers have to go through a bitchy secretary, but I got a direct line to boss's personal cell phone. Thus, it would be most effective if people prayed for Hitchens to convert to Christ through my prayers.

On my show I devote 5 minutes to prayer requests. I can publicly pray for you, on the air, all for giving a meager love offering of $500. Miracles have happened when I prayed for people! Cancer has gone away, people have found their dream jobs, annoying neighbors have died in bizarre accidents. Don't forget, God will give you anything you ask for! (Matthew 21:22)

So do this: Pray to Jesus that Christopher Hitchens finds the light and becomes a True Christian™. Then send my ministry a donation (preferably more than minimum to achieve more efficacy) and I will pray on air that Jesus will listen to your prayer and to put it as top priority. You will then be on your way to win the $1 million prize that is being offered! :victory:

Jedediah 08-07-2010 06:15 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
God has already answered my prayers once concerning this wicked man. Granted, I was praying for the LORD to strike Hitchens in the marrow; but the LORD knows best how to handle these situations.

Watching the interview, Hitchens practically begged True Christians™ everywhere to pray for him! This would be a serious notch in our collective belt if we can pull this conversion off. Just imagine how pleased Jesus will be with us!

Luke 15:10
Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.


Just as there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no atheists with terminal illness. Thank God for ridding us of this nuisance and setting the stage to win his soul for Christ all in one fell swoop!

Praise Him!

Mark Hoover 08-07-2010 07:53 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
I question why Atheists would attempt to convert people to Satanism.

Do you not understand what Atheism is?

Levi Jones 08-07-2010 08:52 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Hoover (Post 574217)
I question why Atheists would attempt to convert people to Satanism.

Do you not understand what Atheism is?

It makes no difference in the eyes of the LORD.

Matthew 12:30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

Bobby-Joe 08-07-2010 04:31 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Hoover (Post 574217)
I question why Atheists would attempt to convert people to Satanism.

Do you not understand what Atheism is?

Trust us friend when we TRUE Christians™ of Landover say we know all about atheists. Atheists will resort to any device to mock believers to make their Satan inspired point.

As for Hitchens, while he is no Doris Day he is one of the Four Horsemen of the Atheist Apocalypse. This gang of four is a cabal of so called intellectuals, out to destroy religion by perverting logic and reason. It is fitting that cancer is striking Hitchens down because who could of forseen throat cancer in a middle aged chain smoker? Hitchen's illness is proof positive of the existence of God.

If Hitchens has any honesty he will repent and turn his life over to Jesus before our Loving Savior makes Hitchens endure a slow, painful death.

Katander 08-07-2010 04:37 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Hoover (Post 574217)
I question why Atheists would attempt to convert people to Satanism.

Do you not understand what Atheism is?

Mark, you have to remember they only follow scripture. And the bible does not hold atheists in high regard...

Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

Psalm 14:2 The LORD looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.

Psalm 14:3 They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

landoverlover 08-08-2010 03:12 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
1 Attachment(s)
Hitchens deserves some credit. The good thing about atheists, if you can call it that, is they call out ALL false religions, sects, and cults - which is all of them minus one.

We should thank Hitchens for exposing Mother Teresa for the grotesque sinner she was in his book "The Missionary Position." Had it not been for him, the world would not have known that Ms. Teresa, for example:

- Refused to give more than aspirin to dying cancer patients, saying their pain was "being kissed by Jesus."

- Took money donated by a person convicted of bank fraud who got it by swindling working class people - then refused to give it back when told about the source.

- Refused to account for tens of millions of dollars received in donations, while dying patients at her "clinic" in Calcutta slept on military cots.

Etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Indeed the prayers are worth the effort.

Benedict A. Davis 08-08-2010 11:44 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
If our Lord just wanted this man dead, he'd be pushing up daisies tomorrow. The Lord is taking away that which offended him, Mr. Hitchen's voice. I think Mr Hitchens is being given the opportunity to repent and God can still show his displeasure with some sort of Palsy that would stop him from expressing himself with the written word.
I do believe the Lord wants us to pray for this sinner, to let the sinner learn God's love and mercy through this illness.

Quote:

Rev. Jim Osborne Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
What an excellent idea, Pastor Zeke! But, allow me to sweeten the deal for anyone who participates. As you all know, God especially listens to me more than most people because I am a pure, perfect, Christlike man. It's like most people's prayers have to go through a bitchy secretary, but I got a direct line to boss's personal cell phone. Thus, it would be most effective if people prayed for Hitchens to convert to Christ through my prayers.

On my show I devote 5 minutes to prayer requests. I can publicly pray for you, on the air, all for giving a meager love offering of $500. Miracles have happened when I prayed for people! Cancer has gone away, people have found their dream jobs, annoying neighbors have died in bizarre accidents. Don't forget, God will give you anything you ask for! (Matthew 21:22)

So do this: Pray to Jesus that Christopher Hitchens finds the light and becomes a True Christian™. Then send my ministry a donation (preferably more than minimum to achieve more efficacy) and I will pray on air that Jesus will listen to your prayer and to put it as top priority. You will then be on your way to win the $1 million prize that is being offered! :victory:
Reverend Jim I want to hedge my bet on this one. My love offering is on it's way and if I were to somehow win this I will never forget The People who helped strengthen my prayer request to our Lord. Not only your intervention but the strength this prayer must be generating with our Pastor Zeke so firmly behind this request.

Higgins 08-08-2010 05:02 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
I am not really sure how I would feel about a deathbed confessional from Hitchens (or any of the 'Four Horsemen' for that matter). I mean he has done more for atheists than most others preaching on how terrible Christianity is and all. How would you feel if at the end of the day he gained acceptance into heaven just because he had a deathbed confessional even with all the terrible things he has said? But alas, I do not know the will of God, so it could be in His divine plan.

BelieverInGod 08-08-2010 06:22 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Higgins (Post 575319)
I am not really sure how I would feel about a deathbed confessional from Hitchens (or any of the 'Four Horsemen' for that matter). I mean he has done more for atheists than most others preaching on how terrible Christianity is and all. How would you feel if at the end of the day he gained acceptance into heaven just because he had a deathbed confessional even with all the terrible things he has said? But alas, I do not know the will of God, so it could be in His divine plan.

So true, if I was God I wouldn't accept a conversion. But God is much more merciful than me. Remember the conversion must be heartfelt and not out of fear at the last moment. We wouldn't want him wandering around heaven telling everyone it's an illusion or something.

Benedict A. Davis 08-08-2010 06:42 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod (Post 575330)
So true, if I was God I wouldn't accept a conversion. But God is much more merciful than me. Remember the conversion must be heartfelt and not out of fear at the last moment. We wouldn't want him wandering around heaven telling everyone it's an illusion or something.


Might be why the Lord is taking his voice box now. The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways.

Pastor Ezekiel 08-08-2010 09:17 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Oh Jesus, I pray that you send seven angels to dance the dance of the seven veils for the pervert atheist Christopher Hitchens, that he might become mesmerised by them and thus accept your love and reject satan. Please do it soon, Lord, because I believe his tallywacker is about to rot off in your divine mercy.

Amen

Pastor Ezekiel 08-09-2010 05:20 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
More and more are joining our cause!! :yahoo:


And even MORE!! :Jumpy:

Quote:

A prayer for Christopher Hitchens:

May he discover, in his great time of need, the grace and love of God. May he discover that the God whom he rejected is faithful and just and will not reject his appeal for mercy.

May he find forgiveness and spiritual restoration through the person and power of Jesus Christ. Although he has mocked and marginalized Him, may he know that He stands at the door and knocks. And may he discover there is a difference between religion and a personal relationship with Jesus.

May God's Holy Spirit bear the witness of Truth to Christopher Hitchens as He did to Saul of Tarsus.

And may Hitchens write of this transforming experience should he, as he quotes his father as saying, "be spared."

Amen.

Petal 08-09-2010 05:59 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 575664)
Quote:

May God's Holy Spirit bear the witness of Truth to Christopher Hitchens as He did to Saul of Tarsus.

:unsure: i kinda worrieds that if lord Jesus say to Mr.Hitchens "it be hard for thee to kicks againsts them pricks", Mr.Hitchens just gonna laff in lord Jesus's face, an then he gonna says to lord Jesus "it be real easy kickin againsts them christain pricks in them debates, it be like shootings them fish in a barrels" :(

nows, i needs to confess that i gots a liddle crush on Mr.Hitchens voice,:wub: it make me swoooons, :blushroll: an i rebukes myselfs for that swoons! :angry: i be sads that lord God gave Mr.Hitchens such a bootiful voice cuz Mr.Hitchens use that voice to say evil thangs about lord God an the bibles an stuff :cray:

Mrs. Mary Whitford 08-09-2010 02:47 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 574137)
I'm putting a $1 million bounty on Christopher Hitchen's soul. Bring him to Christ and you shall be *rewarded. :thumbsup:

GLORY!

I'd like to point out that this is on top of the bounty that had previously been issued for Mr. Hitchen's soul, so you can count your cash while enjoying a free haircut! :yahoo:

Benedict A. Davis 08-09-2010 02:58 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria (Post 575795)
GLORY!

I'd like to point out that this is on top of the bounty that had previously been issued for Mr. Hitchen's soul, so you can count your cash while enjoying a free haircut! :yahoo:

Glory! I had thought that notice meant that you had to save all 3, Paul Zachary Meyers, Richard "Dick" Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens!

Bobby-Joe 08-09-2010 03:15 PM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis (Post 575806)
Glory! I had thought that notice meant that you had to save all 3, Paul Zachary Meyers, Richard "Dick" Dawkins, and Christopher Hitchens!

I am sure Jesus will accept any one of those three horrible men's souls Brother. However now that Christ is giving Hitchens some of His special Tough Love® we can be sure that Hitchens is the most vulnerable acceptable to The Lord's message.

Seth Campbell 08-10-2010 02:49 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
Well if he does convert, I hope he does so publicly. He's responsible for damning a lot of people to hell.

Rev. Jim Osborne 08-13-2010 06:03 AM

Re: Pray For Christopher Hitchens Deathbed Conversion
 
As we all know, famous atheists always convert on their deathbeds, like Charles Darwin. That just goes to show how tenuous and non-committed their faith to the atheistic religion is. When confronted with a frightening serious matter like their own mortality, they throw themselves on their knees, begging God for forgiveness.

Yet, name a single Christian who renounced his Christianity in death? Think of the thousands of Christians who were martyred and not one of them let go of their faith. That is evidence right there that Christianity is true and atheism is nothing but a big lie that people think they believe in, but when the times come, they're ready to jump ship.


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