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Levi Jones 10-25-2010 01:21 AM

How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
1 Attachment(s)
This darn Obama depression is affecting our family horribly. Since we moved to Freehold, we haven't been able to sell our beautiful six bedroom house on a 1/10th acre plot in Arizona. The bank is about to foreclose on it. I have already asked the church, but they are feeling the pinch too. Pastor Zeke's Christmas gift is only going to be in the 20 thousand dollar range this year.

It's fortunate that my daughter just turned 13. She needs to be betrothed anyway.

How much do you guys think I could get for her?

She, is of course a virgin. The tokens of virginity will be there on your wedding night when she reaches the age of consent or you can stone her as per Deuteronomy 22:13-21.

She is a decent cook, but lazy about cleaning. It's my wife's fault for that. I'm sure if you have a strong steady hand for keeping her in line, she can be encouraged to get better.

Any serious bids from True Christians will be considered.

You can't make her work out in the field. If you buy her for a wife you have to provide for her for the rest of her natural life, so please don't take this lightly. If you are buying her for your son, please make sure he likes her because otherwise you cannot return her.

Exodus 21:7-10 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.
If she please not her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he has dealt deceitfully with her.
And if he has betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.
If he takes him another wife; her food, her clothing, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

God Bless,
Levi

handmaiden 10-25-2010 02:30 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
You waited until she was 13? I discussed this topic with a friend of mine regarding her 10 and 8 year olds. She insisted that they had cost her too much (adoption) to consider selling them.

Is the young lady experiences her menses yet? Perhaps you could harvest her eggs. My friends went through such a hassle with their adoptions, the first one was rescinded. People get less attached when there are only eggs involved.

I am certain that her heritage-- and therefore her eggs-- is completely white, is this not so?


Supportively Yours,

Handmaiden

James Hutchins 10-25-2010 02:32 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Having had quite a few daughters, I often get about 30 to 40 shekels for them, sometimes more if they come with work gloves and morals.

Is there a reason no man wants to marry her? Is she deformed from the waist down?

Brother Harold Porter 10-25-2010 02:43 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Levi Jones (Post 623200)
This darn Obama depression is affecting our family horribly. Since we moved to Freehold, we haven't been able to sell our beautiful six bedroom house on a 1/10th acre plot in Arizona. The bank is about to foreclose on it. I have already asked the church, but they are feeling the pinch too. Pastor Zeke's Christmas gift is only going to be in the 20 thousand dollar range this year.

It's fortunate that my daughter just turned 13. She needs to be betrothed anyway.

How much do you guys think I could get for her?

She, is of course a virgin. The tokens of virginity will be there on your wedding night or you can stone her as per Deuteronomy 22:20.

She is a decent cook, but lazy about cleaning. It's my wife's fault for that. I'm sure if you have a strong steady hand for keeping her in line, she can be encouraged to get better.

Any serious bids from True Christians™ will be considered.

God Bless,
Levi

Bless you in Christ Pastor!

I will open the bidding at $1000. This may seem low, but she is only 13 and needs so much instruction. Of course, I am a happily married man and only offer my bid to help you keep your primary asset; your home. Female children are of little importance in God's plan as they are as common as kittens at a shelter.

She will be well cared for in the Porter home. Nutrition, Bible learning, aerobic workouts and swimming in our above ground pool.

What is her name? I'm thinking of calling her Emily. Is she well developed and with motor skills and stamina? Able to maintain vigorous routines in fluid repetition? Swimming requires skill.

I am prepared to bid higher if need be.

In Him!

BelieverInGod 10-25-2010 03:03 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Although I'm not going to Bid (my boys are still too young) I'm glad to see that there are girls around. I was starting to get worried.

handmaiden 10-25-2010 03:03 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Brother Levi, I forget how many daughters you have. It is always wise to keep one virgin daughter around in case you need to toss her to a crowd of would be sodomizers.



Remindingly Yours,

Handmaiden

Danny-Jones 10-25-2010 07:28 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
You could 'rent' her out for a more stable income. Instead of her suitor paying a lump sum, you could ask him to pay you a weekly or monthly fee for the use of your daughter until she reaches a certain age (probably around 18). That will give you time to regain your finances and live comfortably whilst knowing your daughter is with a wealthy, fetching young man.

Good luck! I hope the Lord blesses you with with a fruitful month!

ExGay Alex 10-25-2010 03:43 PM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Dear Levi,

Your financial woes have troubled me and I would like to do my part. As I am sure your daughter will have no trouble finding a new home, I would like to offer the possibility of taking her little brother, Levi Jr. (or "Little Levi" as I call him at my Kiddie Prayer Circle), off your hands if that would help alleviate your money troubles.

Other children visit often, so he would not be bored. In fact, a lot of other "Little Levi's" are often down at my apartment. And while I know he would miss you, I can assure you that the spirit of Jesus touches my home and I have every reason to know that, if your son spent a few nights at my place, he would be touched also.

While I imagine Little Levi is a real handful, I am happy to help out until you get back on your feet.

Yours in Christ,

Alex

handmaiden 10-25-2010 05:43 PM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by handmaiden (Post 623285)
Brother Levi, I forget how many daughters you have. It is always wise to keep one virgin daughter around in case you need to toss her to a crowd of would be sodomizers.


Please, please forgive me this post. I think that I meant to say "sodomists".


I don't know what I was thinking.





Carefully Yours,

Handmaiden

Brother Harold Porter 10-25-2010 11:16 PM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Pastor Levi,

Am I the winning bidder for Emily? I am eager to get her started in her studies to worship Him and be prepared for her duties to the True Christian™ man that will hopefully want her someday.

Mrs. Porter was at first reluctant, but has come around in welcoming Emily to our Christian home. She will be a fine matron for the younster!

In Christ!

Benedict A. Davis 10-26-2010 12:17 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Brother Levi.
As you might remember I lost my wife last year after she was in an auto accident. I have been giving serious consideration to settling in Freehold in the near future and I do believe it might be advantageous to have a wife to take care of my home once I settle in. My issue would be secular laws concerning young brides. I would not like to make any promises until I have my Lawyer check out local laws in Iowa. I know that in Mississippi she could be wed at 13 with parents approval but I would not like to commit to monies and then not be able to honor our contract.
I remember that there was talk of a ''training center'' for young brides through the church, would you remember who was starting that business?
Please give me a bit of time to get these issues resolved and I believe we could both have our needs fulfilled.
YIC
Benedict A. Davis

BelieverInGod 10-26-2010 12:56 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis (Post 623798)
Brother Levi.
As you might remember I lost my wife last year after she was in an auto accident. I have been giving serious consideration to settling in Freehold in the near future and I do believe it might be advantageous to have a wife to take care of my home once I settle in. My issue would be secular laws concerning young brides. I would not like to make any promises until I have my Lawyer check out local laws in Iowa. I know that in Mississippi she could be wed at 13 with parents approval but I would not like to commit to monies and then not be able to honor our contract.
I remember that there was talk of a ''training center'' for young brides through the church, would you remember who was starting that business?
Please give me a bit of time to get these issues resolved and I believe we could both have our needs fulfilled.
YIC
Benedict A. Davis

16 with parents permission, 18 without.

handmaiden 10-26-2010 01:00 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod (Post 623842)
16 with parents permission, 18 without.


I am so disappointed. I expected better from Iowa given the presence of so many True Christians.

The liberals probably got a toehold in somewhere.


Sadly Yours,

Handmaiden

BelieverInGod 10-26-2010 01:46 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by handmaiden (Post 623846)
I am so disappointed. I expected better from Iowa given the presence of so many True Christians.

The liberals probably got a toehold in somewhere.


Sadly Yours,

Handmaiden

Pretty much everywhere outside of Freehold.

Benedict A. Davis 10-26-2010 02:36 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod (Post 623842)
16 with parents permission, 18 without.

Thank you for the information sister BIG, it will save me having to sit waiting for my lawyer to return my calls, you know how they are...they are always so busy no matter how much you are paying them.Do you think it is the profession or just the people the profession attracts?
What a shame, as I am sure that the young girl is well versed in her religious studies and there would be so many fewer changes she would need running my house as I would want it. She is young enough not to have picked up any of her own opinions or ''ways'' of her own, no bad habits that will have been practiced by her that would need to be broken.
It is unfortunate but we must obey the Bible:
Romans 13

1Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
3For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
4For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.
5Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.
6For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.
7Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.

BelieverInGod 10-26-2010 02:46 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis (Post 623924)
Thank you for the information sister BIG, it will save me having to sit waiting for my lawyer to return my calls, you know how they are...they are always so busy no matter how much you are paying them.Do you think it is the profession or just the people the profession attracts?
What a shame, as I am sure that the young girl is well versed in her religious studies and there would be so many fewer changes she would need running my house as I would want it. She is young enough not to have picked up any of her own opinions or ''ways'' of her own, no bad habits that will have been practiced by her that would need to be broken.

Oh, I understand completely. Being one that married "late in life" we have many issues about how I think things should be run. But then again, I doubt that a young girl like that could handle the household with Seth gone as much as he is. So I'm sure that God was just keeping us separated until we were both ready.


Quote:

It is unfortunate but we must obey the Bible:
Romans 13

1Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
3For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
4For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.
5Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.
6For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.
7Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
Well if you're willing to wait the three years (or two and how ever many months) you could just consider it a long engagement.

Benedict A. Davis 10-26-2010 02:54 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BelieverInGod (Post 623934)
Oh, I understand completely. Being one that married "late in life" we have many issues about how I think things should be run. But then again, I doubt that a young girl like that could handle the household with Seth gone as much as he is. So I'm sure that God was just keeping us separated until we were both ready.




Well if you're willing to wait the three years (or two and how ever many months) you could just consider it a long engagement.


Sister, have you heard anything about a training facility for young wives or to be wives? That could be an answer, after 2 years this young child would have time to become an excellent wife. If I could find someone to apprentice her even, I would pay all expenses and would discuss a salary with any man who's wife would take charge of her training, under minimum supervision from myself of course.

BelieverInGod 10-26-2010 03:16 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis (Post 623942)
[/B] Sister, have you heard anything about a training facility for young wives or to be wives? That could be an answer, after 2 years this young child would have time to become an excellent wife. If I could find someone to apprentice her even, I would pay all expenses and would discuss a salary with any man who's wife would take charge of her training, under minimum supervision from myself of course.

Sister Cookie was working on something like this, but I'm not sure how far she's got with it. To be honest, I didn't pay much attention as I don't think I'm a great role-model and only have sons.

Infant Genious 10-26-2010 04:34 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
HEY GUYS!

Is she still available? I would love one.

Pastor Ezekiel 10-26-2010 04:36 AM

Re: How much do you guys think I could sell my daughter for?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Infant Genious (Post 624011)
HEY GUYS!

Is she still available? I would love one.

Christians only, please.

Besides, wouldn't your husband be angry? :glare:


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