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Daisy Mae Johnson 03-03-2013 05:17 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I Hope you and your retarded
baby are doing well! :heart:

http://image.blingee.com/images15/co...07_1212081.gif



Bob4God 03-03-2013 06:09 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
What are you now, fourteen? Fifteen?

Oh, they grow up so fast!

Now that you're a married woman with a baby of your own, you'll soon realize how fast your own child will grow up.

Jack O'fagan 03-03-2013 06:28 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Happy Birthday Naomi,

Are you cooking Aaron something special?


YIC

Jack

Capt. Aaron Portway 03-03-2013 07:16 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.:facepalm:

I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss. :wacko:

Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.

James Hutchins 03-03-2013 07:32 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Congrats Aaron. Will you be at Landover Mens Club tonight? Dinner and drinks are on me in celebration.

If you feel compelled to spend money one her (I know how yoiu newly weds are), may I suggest a nice mop?

Jack O'fagan 03-03-2013 07:52 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway (Post 983225)
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.:facepalm:

I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss. :wacko:

This is what I bought my wife for her birthday and he is very happy with it.

http://www.wilkinsonplus.com/content.../0219255_l.jpg

It saved her having to get down on her knees to clean the house with a dustpan and brush.

She did hint at a vacuum cleaner but I can't bare the noise.

Ecclesiastes 3:8
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

YIC

Jack

Witch Hammer 03-03-2013 08:29 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway (Post 983225)
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.:facepalm:

I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss. :wacko:

Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.

My wife literally wept with joy when I got her one of those new electric vacuum machines for our wedding anniversary, and it gives her some free time at the end of the day to get rested up for her "wifely duties" during the evening!:thumbsup:

Mary Etheldreda 03-03-2013 08:39 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
A Blessed Birthday to you, Mrs. Portway!

august 03-03-2013 08:49 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Happy Birthday, Mrs. Portway. I hope your husband takes you out and gives you some nice jewelry.

BelieverInGod 03-03-2013 09:03 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway (Post 983225)
Oh crap, that's right, that's today.:facepalm:

I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss. :wacko:

Happy birthday Naomi, I'll see you when I get back into town a week from Wednesday.

Is there some sort of cookware she is collecting? I'm partial to Cast Iron, but I haven't been in her kitchen in so long, I don't remember her preferences.

I'm a little confused about the Pyrex. On the one hand, the only place to get the good stuff is in the thrift stores, but now, After this thread I am not so sure. On the other hand, I am convinced that the new stuff is a sign of end times.

I'll leave the decision in your manly capable hands.

BelieverInGod 03-03-2013 09:06 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by august (Post 983257)
Happy Birthday, Mrs. Portway. I hope your husband takes you out and gives you some nice jewelry.


AHEM! :nono:


1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;


1st Peter 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

MitzaLizalor 03-04-2013 10:36 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Mr Portway, I like to make my own gifts from wildflowers or foliage which can be woven into the lovliest designs. Alternatively, some local produce picked from the meadow such as wild mushrooms or berries is also a lovely gift idea (and you don't have to waste time weaving foliage (hawthorn or privet, say)). On a wooden plate maybe?

turdbear 03-04-2013 07:39 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Happy birthday, Mrs. Portway, and may you have a blessed day.

Pastor Ezekiel 03-05-2013 05:15 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by teddybear (Post 983492)
Happy birthday, Mrs. Portway, and may you have a blessed day.

Hands off, boy. The White girls around here aren't interested in what you're selling. :threaten:

Levi Jones 03-05-2013 05:40 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
I got you a 8"x10" poster of Pastor Zeke. If you're really nice, I'll get his secretary to sign it in his name.

Cranky Old Man 03-05-2013 08:53 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt. Aaron Portway (Post 983225)
I suppose she'll be expecting some sort of gift. Does anybody have any ideas? What do women like these days. Groceries? Fancy lightbulbs? A new shovel? I'm at a loss.

Since when is what women want of any relevance? All that matters is what God wants! (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Never buy a woman gifts, it only makes them greedy and whining about more gifts. Instead just give her a firm beating to make sure she knows her place.(Genesis 3:16)

Faith_Machine 03-11-2013 11:25 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Naomi, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Don't worry though, I've bought you a state-of-the-art Web cam, which should be arriving in your mail box soon. You'll probably want Captain Portway to set it up for you.

Mrs. Naomi Portway 03-11-2013 11:53 PM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
Thank you everybody. I couldn't use the computer for two weeks because I shrank one of Aaron's pilot jackets. Since it was specially hand made, it didn't have a label to not wash it, I should have asked him, but now it's ruined and money doesn't grow on ding-danged trees and any idiot knows you don't wash and dry wool, you take it to the cleaners. I should have known that, since I'm a wife and all.

To whoever told Aaron to get me a new ladder for my birthday, thank you. It'll make it easier to clean the gutters this spring. Also, thank you to whoever sent that big bag of flour. Maybe now with this kind I'll be able to make a halfway decent batch of pancakes, but I don't know, it seems like they taste OK to me, but Aaron says they taste like wet cardboard.

Anyway, now that I'm fifteen, I'll probably start to be better at being a wife and a Mommy. The baby still cries most of the time, but it doesn't bite as much, but I still wear oven mitts when I hold it.


YIC


Mrs. Naomi Portway

Faith_Machine 03-12-2013 12:47 AM

Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Naomi Portway
 
So when can we expect you to be birthing a little brother for that precious bundle of joy? It would be cruel of you not to, as only children tend to be very sad and lonely.


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