Cranky Old Man wrote here at the beginning:
My neighbor Mrs. Johnson keeps buying dogs faster than I can shoot those annoying creatures and your mother-in-law looks like she would be great at scaring dogs away. She would of course have to build her own place to sleep, grow her own foot and pay rent.
You don't exactly tell about your location, is it Texas or Arizona...? Only "close to God"... but it must be a great place where it seems to be legal to take your old shotgun and blast them to hell, I mean if there is a hell for dogs
. Here it's even problematic to throw a stone after them.
You see, I don't like dogs either.