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Old 01-25-2011, 02:19 PM
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Jonathan Prestor Jonathan Prestor is offline
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Default Re: A Friendly Reminder: Your Cooter is a Portal to Hell!

Dear Sister Lycia,

While this is a well-written public service announcement about the proper usage of a woman's ladybits, I am unsure why you're using the term cooter here. Why, the only danger a cooter poses to a man is snapping him, and the Bible is even quite clear that cooters make perfectly acceptable sin offerings.

"And if she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons; the one for the burnt offering, and the other for a sin offering: and the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be clean."
Leviticus 12:8

"And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation." Leviticus 15:29

Now, I know we aren't required to make these kinds of sin offerings anymore as per Hebrews 9 and 10, but I still think it's perfectly acceptable, and probably even a good idea, for a young lady to offer up her cooter to her pastor after she is done with her issue.

On a quick personal note, anybody interested in cooters should definitely check out this year's Cooterfest in Allendale, South Carolina. I'm hoping to be a cooter handler there this year!

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"That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman." 2 Chronicles 15:13
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