I'm offended by Facebook!
Generally, of course, but also specifically their "groups" system.
Just last week, seven fine, upstanding men in my congregation were found to be members of the "NAMBLA Supporters" group on Facebook. And I'm not talking about a few back-row believers who come to church every few weeks, sit in the pew, and go home. We don't have members like that. These men are all heavily involved in church ministries.
Some participate in our youth outreach ministry, which visits high schools and middle schools in the area to share the Joy of Jesus (after school hours and from a discreet church van parked in the public right-of-way, thank you very much, ACLU and FFRF!
). One coaches the church youth baseball team. Another is Scoutmaster for the Boy Scout troop affiliated with our church.
What's more, every one of these fine men helps out with the annual Boy Scout campout each summer. For the last three years, they've refused any help from me or the other men in the congregation, saying how much they love the woods and bonding with the boys, and that it's no trouble at all.
Naturally, we at Second Baptist were horrified. Could their accounts have been hacked? What if someone had stolen their identities?
Fortunately, it was nothing so terrible. An investigation revealed that a "friend" of theirs had added all of them to the NAMBLA Supporters group without their permission! That's a Facebook "feature", the ability to add hundreds of people to whatever group you've created, whether it be the "Poets of Reason" or "A List Atheists" or "NAMBLA Supporters" or "Kiddy Porn Swap", without asking them, and they have no way to prevent it! They get one email telling them they are in a group, and that's the only time they can leave without jumping through all sorts of hoops.
So who was this "friend"?
It took some digging through their old emails (with their permission of course), but we found him. The email said, "
NAME REDACTED has added you to NAMBLA Supporters".
"NAME REDACTED" was a man they said they'd talked to when they went to Indianapolis to protest the homosexual agenda outside the Unicorn Club, a depraved filthy place where young boys dance nearly nude (and often sell access to their tight rear entries for as little as $10 after closing, I'm told). This guy was the owner of the Unicorn Club. The fine men from my congregation explained that he pretended to be interested in knowing more about Jesus and asked them to be Facebook friends with him.
Each and every one of these men had thought the Facebook email to be spam, and had deleted it. One had gone so far as to reformat his hard drive to purge the spam from it, but didn't realize it still existed on the email server.
So, that's why I'm offended by Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg (ahem) has built this sytem specifically designed so that homosexuals and other lefty liberals can add Christian men to depraved groups without their permission, and attempt to ruin their reputations and make Christianity look bad!