Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Well, it is scientifically proven that masturbation causes acne. That is why teenagers are often so pockmark-riddled. No doubt you masturbated a lot (among other sins), which caused God to smite you with pimples. Let your testimony shine forth and be a beacon of hope to anyone who wants to achieve clear skin.
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I did masturbate, yes, when I had my most acne I was masturbating up to 5 times per day. You are correct there is a surefire correlation between masturbation and acne. As I got older, I started to masturbate less frequently, and then not at all. I am now engaged to a good Christian woman and have no satanspots. Explain that science!
I saw a contaminated teenager today whilst shopping for a checked shirt and jacket, he worked in the store and asked to help: I told the feral scum to leave me alone at once and reported him for harassment.
@Wintersnow: I am worried about your nieces with acne, I will be praying for them. I would be willing to visit one of your counselling sessions to really FORCE the acne out of them, but advance notice would be helpful because I live in hopeless England.
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A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because
GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then
murderers, thieves and
homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.
GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are
guaranteed a ride with JESUS.