Quote:
Originally Posted by NuclearWalrusNetwork
So we led an Exodus to the Holy Land, Landover Baptist Church, where I enrolled at their university...
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I don't think so, dear. You see, Freehold is a gated community that exists to support God through supporting Landover Baptist Church, through our esteemed Pastor Zeke. Landover Baptist Church has been named "Most Select Church In America" by U.S. News and World Report, "Now Harder To Get Into Than Harvard." Our Holy Church is modeled after Heaven, and if you thought it was that was hard to get into (Matthew 7:21), you've never encountered Sister Cookie in the Office. Landover University functions to provide the church with the next generation of Tithers, and therefore exist solely for families who are guaranteed to have been Saved, lest our children be contaminated with the unsaved, which expressly irks the LORD (Deuteronomy 17:7; Romans 16:17; 1 Corinthians 5:12-13; etc). Unsaved trash aren't welcome in Freehold, and I see you've been labeled as just that. No offense.