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Cool Re: A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy - 01-22-2012, 07:31 AM

As a new forum member, just wanted to thank Brother Jeb for this awesome collection which clearly summarizes all we have to know about this weird conspiracy against our Lord and the Holy Bible!
I'll ask my husband to print it, right on the fridge it goes. Will make my kids memorize it!
Great material, thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
A guide to the evolutionist conspiracy

Based on the research of Bob Riggins, Science Academy of South Texas

A list of groups in league with the anti-morality evilutionist conspiracy.

The following groups of people CANNOT BE TRUSTED. Do not read anything they write, or use any device that they have invented.

(In no particular order: )

Geologists

Even before Darwin, it was geologists who began to claim that the Earth is older than 6004 years. And modern geology stubbornly refuses to yield up its hidden proof of a universal flood, or the recent and coeval existence of all creatures, living and extinct.

Physicists

Invented all sorts of laws, like decay rates of isotopes, the non-decaying speed of light, the refraction of light to produce rainbows, etc., all of which disagree with the the Book of Genesis. And to add insult to injury, physicists can't seem to see the truth that evolution violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics --a fact that every good creationist knows, even without a degree in physics!

Defenders of the Scientific Method and peer review

Every heard of creation scientists engaging in peer review? Or a creation scientist being celebrated for proving another creation scientist wrong? Of course not - REAL science is based on finding the facts in the bible and then looking for evidence to back it up, not finding evidence and then coming to a conclusion. Yet the enemies opf morality still claim that the "scientific method" is a legitimate lifestyle choice.

Zoologists

The Bible says bats are birds. (Leviticus 11:13, 11:19) Lying zoologists claim they are rodents.

Brain surgeons

The New Testement states clearly that the mind is in the heart. (Esther 6:6, Proverbs 23:7, Isaiah 10:7, Matt 9:4) People who claim the brain is used for thinking are plainly and simply anti-biblical.

And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts? -Matthew 9:4

Howbeit he meaneth not so, neither doth his heart think so; but it is in his heart to destroy and cut off nations not a few -Isaiah 10:7

So Haman came in. And the king said unto him, What shall be done unto the man whom the king delighteth to honour? Now Haman thought in his heart, To whom would the king delight to do honour more than to myself? -Esther 6:6

Astronomers and anyone who talks about "stars"

The Book of revelations states that stars are little things which can fall to earth. (Revelations 1:16, 6:13, 8:10, 9:1, 12:4) Astronomers made up lies about them being bigger than earth and far away.

Geophysicists and their Plate Tectonics

South America and Africa match like perfect puzzle pieces because God thought they looked prettier than that. This whole continents moving a few inches every year more millions of years denies the Biblican truth that the world is 6004 years old.

Propagandists of Original Thought

Creationism is about believing without question a particular interpretation of scripture. Indeed, in a belief system of that nature, any questioning or original thought about the revealed knowledge is not only incorrect, it is sinful. (In the anti-American world of science, on the other hand, questioning and testing of accepted or authoritative beliefs is the method--it's what you're supposed to do. No wonder scientists are known to cook and eat fetuses they pick up drive-through at Planned Parenthood clinics.)

Mathematics teachers and other believers in Pi

In the Bible Pi is a neat 3 (reflecting the trinity, no doubt) while math teachers believe it is an ugly, messy 3.14159. Despite some legal attempts in some state legislatures to return it to the divine purity of 3, pi has hardened its heart and refused to conform to the biblically prescribed norm.

Believers in Micro-organisms

Mircoscoptic creatures are never mentioned in the Bible at all, so we are forced to do a lot of rewriting of Genesis to account for their day of creation, and their presence or absence on the Ark.

Believers in the Ice Ages

They have to have occurred since the Flood, since the surface of the Earth was reworked by the Flood (to create, for instance, the Grand Canyon practically overnight), which would have messed up all those marks of glaciers on the landscape. That means mile-thick ice sheets had to advance and retreat again and again, across half the Northern Hemisphere, with the speed of freight trains, but without this miracle being recorded in the Bible.

I say it's easier just to deny that Ice Ages ever happened.

Meterologists and weathermen and pilots

The Bible clearly states that the sky is a solid dome, a "firmament," which was firm enough to separate waters above it from those below on the Earth. By Noah's time it was still solid enough to have windows in it that had to be opened to let the rain through. I think that false-Christians that spite on Gid's face by calling it "poetic metaphor" have given in to the godless materialists! The Bible really is literal, in the true sense of the word. The sky was a hard firmament with windows in it-and anybody who says different is a mealy-mouthed evolution-sympathizer.

Peleontologists and anyone who Digs up Fossils

First of all, extinct creatures don't exist in our perfect Creation, since their very extinction implies that they were not so perfect. And there are so darn many of them, of so many different kinds. Here are some creation-scientific explanations of what fossils are and how they got there:

o Dinosaurs were too big to go on the Ark, so they got buried in the mud of the Flood.

o Extinct creatures were on the Ark. They died out later.

o Fossils never were animals. They're a hoax by Satan and/or materialistic science.

o Fossils never were animals. They're a hoax by God to test your faith.

Believers in DNA

How convientent that this "science" would turn up and confirm predictions of relationships made by evolutionary theory perfectly. And what a dirty trick to have human DNA fit right into the distribution, right next door to the chimps'! Obviously a hoax.

According to believers in DNA, the ultimate blueprint for building entire human beings turns out to be just plain chemicals, with nothing magical or even particularly unusual that sets humans aside from other living things. And those geneticists can even tinker with the stuff, and build new creatures. They can replace defective genes in people, thwarting God's will that people be crippled and die. I'm sure something was put into Leviticus to forbid such ungodliness, we just haven't managed to find and interpret it yet.

Police who won't arrest evil-utionists

Everyone knows that belief in evolution destroys their faith in the Bible, so naturally they have no moral guide and no fear of eternal damnation, and since they think we came from monkeys, they see ourselves as animals with no eternal souls. In short, they've managed to cover all their crimes up. People belive in evolution in Europe, and we all know how that entire continent has collapsed into a barbarism that makes the fall of Rome look like peanuts.

False creationist scientists

Old-Earthers and Multiple-Catastrophists have given in to "liberal" (if not to say Satanic) influences. Some years there are multiple Ark-hunting expeditions to Turkey, and often both of them are obstructing the progress of true Bible science.

Best way to tell a real creation scientist from a false one: ask them if they've ever read the Bible all the way through, cover-to-cover. 97% of the time the answer will be no. They're sure every word is literally true, and the divine message of God, but somehow they've never quite found the time to actually read the thing. Are you willing to put your soul in the hands of such people?

Doctors who deal with Ribs

We know, on good authority (by creationists, whose scientific authority is the Bible, and what could be more authoritative?), that men have one less rib than women, because one of Adam's ribs was removed to mold into Eve. However, we generally become confused upon being asked if that means one less pair of ribs, or just one rib missing from one side. The reason we don't know is because liberal-bias doctors have been hiding this information from us.

People who belive in Viruses

In the first place, nothing even remotely like them is even remotely alluded to in either Testament. About the only biblical disease is leprosy and the Bible does not say it was cause by any sort of so called "micro-organism". Egyptian cattle suffered a "murrain"-- with no cause other than a divine curse. Then there are the "emerods" (hemorrhoids) with which God afflicted some folks he was miffed at.

Two solid creation science facts to remember:

o The Devil created viruses.

o Viruses are not in the Bible because they are "imperfect."

But the really disturbing thing about these so-called "viruses" is that they occupy the twilight zone between living and dead, a zone that does not exist in a creation in which creatures were "given life," or have "the breath of life." Can they be alive if they don't move, breathe, eat, excrete, or metabolize at all, and can even be crystallized, like other non-living chemicals? Can they be dead if they can self-replicate (reproduce) using the same basic methods as other living things, parasitize other creatures, and are made of nearly the same proteins and nucleic acids as we are? Sounds like a hoax to me!

People who study Insects

These heathens claim that bugs have so many generations of nasty babies so often that in just a few years they can evolve. Those ugly boll weevils, for instance, develop resistance to pesticides; and those filthy peppered moths in England (Darwin's home--coincidence? I don't think so.) change the shade of their camouflage. Evolutionists want to call those piddlin' changes "evolution"--which just shows that they don't even know what the term means. So we creationists have to tell them that "evolution" means apes popping out human babies. You'd think them evil-utionists'd have that straight by now.

Paleontologists

Creationists investigators keep discovering human footprints in the same strata as dinosaur bones or footprints, and the liberal-bias paleontologists keep deny it.

People who belive in Craters

Few things are eviler than scientists that invented all those pesky asteroid craters which are supposedly found all over the planet, throughout all geological strata. The Bible is silent on such devastating impacts as Meteor Crater in Arizona, the Ring Lakes in Quebec, and that biggie that they claim dusted off the dinosaurs and created all that my beautiful beachfront property on the Yucatan peninsula. Scientists even clain there was a "Chicxulub event" creating a 170 km crater, which had to have caused worldwide devastation, and thus would have at least been noted in passing by some biblical patriarch or another. In short, those "craters" are typical frauds.

People who Believe in Other Planets and the Moon Landing Hoax

Anybody notice that, rather convieniently for the gay-marryers, in the last few years astronomers, have begun to discover other planets around other suns (over 100 supposedly located so far) ? And they even claim that several of those solar systems are at several of the stages of planetary-system evolution hypothesized for the evolution of our own system?

There is not one line in the scientifically accurate Bible which acknowledge that there are other worlds. In fact, the Bible clearly states the the moon is nothing but a "lesser light" hung in the sky. (Genesis 1:16) If it was possible to walk on the moon, the bible would say so. Clearly NASA was a typical waste of tax dollars, the money was obviously sent to pay black women to breed more.

Arrogant Scientists in General

Your average creation scientist has almost an entire year of college, and clearly knows more about paleontology than Bakker or Horner or Currie, knows more about the definition of evolution than Gould or Dawkins, knows more about biology than Dobzhansky or Mayr, knows more about cosmology than Hawking, Kaku, or Witten, and more about human fossils than Johanson or the Leakeys. He knows more true geology than geologists, more physics than physicists, more astronomy than astronomers--and more about everything than atheists like Asimov or Sagan. Scientists deny this fact only out of pure arrogance.

Liberal-bias universities that hand out degrees and credentials to evolutionists.

True scientists (creationists) get their science degrees from non-accredited religious institutions rather than accredited schools and universities.

Just how useless are liberal-bias universities? Fifty bucks and an SASE, and you're a Ph.D., ready and qualified to refute evolution! Meanwhile stupid scientists spend far more on a far inferior education!

Chemists

Chemists, being somewhat familiar with how elements and molecules combine and recombine non-randomly, haven't risen up as a body to declare the chemical origin or subsequent evolution of life to be a flat-out impossibility. Now why do you suppose that is? Obviosly because they are part of the conspiracy to marry gays and force children to view Janet Jackson's breasts.

Dendrochronologists

That means tree-ring counting. Dendrochronologists, by matching patterns in annual growth rings, claim they can establish a sequence in living, dead, and long-dead trees in certain areas of the world. That can be a very reliable dating technique for, say, a beam used in an ancient shelter. But this archeological specialty is completely useless and unreliable, since in some areas ring sequences extend back through the date of the Flood, showing no evidence of same, and indeed way past the 6004 years ago when God created the world.

Believers in Varves

According to scientists those are annual layers deposited in lake beds. In some places they are clearly distinguishable because of varying colors and compositions of materials deposited in different seasons. They claim it's they can see them form, over a few years, and that they know exactly what causes them and that they do, in fact, represent one year per layer. The problem, of course, is that there are lakes in the world with many times the 6,000 annual varves that could have been laid down since the Creation. That means the entire science is a fraud.

P.S. Annual ice layers in Greenland and elsewhere are also Satanic deceptions.

The Nobel Prize Committee

...Is completely blind to the enlightenment brought to the world by creation scientists. Is that because creation science would overturn so many preconceived notions of the scientific establishment, with its deeply-rooted prejudice against all things Christian?

I would like to know, quite seriously, when the last time was that ANY biblical-literalist-creationist won a Nobel prize in ANY field. Also, has anyone ever won for any work that patently supports a major creationist principle? Clearly the Nobel Prize Commitee has a liberal bias!

People who collect Beetles

These bug-pinners claim God have a beetle fixation. They claim there's over 50,000 species of them, but that's a lie because they would not have fit on the ark.

British biologist, J.B.S. Haldane, on being asked what one could conclude as to the nature of God from a study of his creation, Haldane is said to have answered, "An inordinate fondness for beetles." He's burning in hell.

People who belive in the efficacy of Science

Anything created by evilutionists and the scientific method is untrustworthy. Don't trust medical science, computers, etc. etc. Only trust inventions invented by creation scientists, and devices that operate on laws of nature discovered by creation scientists.

Evolutionary biology manages to get it right when you want improved corn yields, or a vaccine ready for this year's flu strain, but these things will fall apart and backfire soon enough, because the only trustworthy way to discover and invent things is creation science.

People with Ambiguous Gender

Although Genesis tells us that God created Man and Woman, there are some unfortunate folks around who are hermaphrodites or have ambiguous genitalia. Hermaphrodites therefore are mass produced by evolutonists to confuse believers.

Anyone who uses Insulin

According to scientists, the human insulin available for diabetics today is made by genetically engineered E. coli bacteria! What does that have to do with evolution? Real human genes were spliced into bacterial DNA using recombinant techniques, so the nasty germs now churn out authentic human insulin. Kind of sounds like the stuff that makes us human and the stuff that makes germs germy is the same kind of stuff, and is almost as interchangeable as tinkertoys. Maybe it shows that we're closely enough related to our own intestinal bacteria that we can stick a bit of human being into them without their minding terribly. Sounds like a fraud! Obviously it is prayer that keep Diabetics alive, not this fraudulent "insulin", which can be banned with no ill effects.

Users of Big Numbers

Millions, billions, trillions... especially as applied to years, light-years, species, etc. God built the universe to a comfortable human scale. Claims of really big stretches of time, are particularily satanic.

Lexicographers

Every dictionary I can lay my hands on defines Christian (n.) as "one who professes belief in Jesus as the christ" or words to the same effect. Not a one of them defines Christian as "one who believes in the literal truth of Genesis, especially as regards the creation and flood accounts." (Who would have thought that the ranks of lexicographers had been so infiltrated with atheists and satanists?)

Pope John Paul II

On October 7, 1996, in an address to the Pontifical Academy of Sciences in Rome, he declared [the Church's] acceptance of evolution as a scientific fact, and noted that there is no war between religion and science: "Consideration of the method used in diverse orders of knowledge allows for the concordance of two points of view which seem irreconcilable. The science of observation describes with ever greater precision the multiple manifestations of life…" SATANIST!

Digitized Natural Selection

Computer scientists claim that, in order to arrive at some good-enough solutions to some practically intractable problems teach a computer to try a bunch of random solutions. Most will be worthless or impractical. Some will work a little better than most others. The best ones are allowed to produce "offspring" with random modifications. Most of these won't be improvements, and many will be worse than the "parents." A few may be slightly better, however, and they will be allowed to reproduce for another "generation." Continue this for enough generations, and the end product will be a decent solution. It probably won't be the theoretical best (a quality which couldn't be determined without solving the original unsolvable problem), but it will be workable.

This is exactly analogous to natural selection, so of course it can't possibly work since random mutations can only be harmful.

Many R & D departments are thus using natural selection to design aircraft! Would you dare fly on one of those?

Astronomists

...in general. They're wrong about everything. Starting at least as far back as Ptolemy, astronomers have continued to describe the heavens in terms that increasingly have nothing to do with Genesis. Things really started to go to hell with Copernicus, Kepler, Galileo, and their ilk. Nowadays the things astronomers teach are so foreign to the Truth and involve such hard math that they're impossible to understand. I mean, come on-- the Big Bang, the speed of light, "light years," the sizes of stars, billions of years-- it makes my head hurt. You want to know what's in the sky? Read Genesis! Especially stay away from them "professors" who directly mock biblical Truth about the skies.

Animal breeders

People who try create new breeds of animals are attempting to engage in satanic evolutionism. They even claim to have evolved their own breeds, like poodles, for example. The truth is they just captured wild poodles.

Other Cultures

…like those damn Egyptians that didn't notice a world-wide Flood, though they were around at the time and had a liking for writing everything down (they'd write down what people wore to parties, darn it, yet they fail to note a Flood that covered the entire Earth! Same with the Asian Indians, and the Chinese, or any of the other cultures that also possessed written histories, yet failed to note any of the cataclysmic acts of the Judaeo-Christian god.

People who believe that stars can be more than 6000 light-years away

Scientists claim that light from many stars takes more than 6000 years to get from the star to us. That's nonsense, of course, because that star did not exist more than 6000 years ago!

Ancient star-gazers were only a thousand or two years from the date of creation, thus the light from the stars farther away than 1000-2000 light years could not have been seen. That means that all stars are closer to the Earth than 1000 light years, and that measurement techniques such as stellar parallax are just the devil's lies.

Satan's Rapid Deployment Force (SRDF)

Revealed At Last! SHOCKING PROOF that Satan is active in the world and working to defeat creationism! Every time that we creationists bring up one of those impossible changes from one created kind to another (macroevolution), the SRDF gets to work and plants in the rocks some True fossils, carefully "aging" them and putting them in the "proper" strata so that paleontologists can find them in a few years. Then they're shoved in our faces as examples of the major transitions that we know to be impossible.

We said a hyena can't change into a whale. The SRDF gets to work and presto! scientists are digging up Ambulocetus , Pakicetus , Prozeuglodon, and a passle of others.

We knew damn well that no lizard ever sprouted wings and feathers, so the SRDF made up those phony Archaeopteryx jobs that were just TOO perfect! I mean, teeth, bony tail, claws on the fingers, along with perfect flight feathers--come on! Since we absolutely wouldn't accept such an obvious True, now they're throwing in a bunch of others in various stages of birdness, like Protoavis , Sinornis , Hesperornis, and Ichthyornis .

They claimed we were all fish, then we grew legs and lungs and crawled out on land--what rot! Where are the transitions? Enter the SRDF, and now we've got Eusthenopteron, Panderichtys, Acanthostega, and labyrynthodonts.

And of course the highest priority mission of the SRDF is to "prove" that people are just improved apes (whereas Genesis 2:7 tells us clearly that we are improved dirt). We keep telling them that there are "missing links" between apes and humans, and they keep finding something to fill whatever gap we point out. After all, isn't Lucy (Australopithecus afarensis) just a little too convenient? Throw in A. ramidus and africanus and then H. habilis and erectus, and it's hard to find much of a gap anymore where a link could be missing.

Farmers

The Bible so clearly teaches, all of the earth was covered by seawater for 6 months, and lying farmers claim that salt makes soil infertile. Not only are we able to farm in places with no igneous rock today (and thus no real way to cover up any salt-tainted land), but we have records of farming happening pretty soon after the Flood, not the least of which are recorded in Genesis.

People who belive in Lactose Intolerance

Scientists claim that people who can digest cow milk are mutants! They say that people that could handle drinking milk had that much more nutrition available to them, and through the process of natural selection they thrived [and passed on the trait].

People who believe in Evolved Plagues and Pestilences

Consider AIDS, or DDT-resistant pests, or the common cold, or antibiotic-resistant superbugs: according to scientists they all evolve fast enough for us to see. They claim that the rapid evolution of these organisms has become an important medical and economic issue. Nonsense. God is sending more plagues because people are becoming more sinful.

Bad calendars

According to Gen. 1:14, the lights in the firmament are there "for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years." People who make calendars claim that the solar and sidereal years are different. A proper calendar would have a nice clean 700-day year, so we all know when the Sabbath is.


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