First of all, I don't care
HOW curious you are:
DO NOT DO AN INTERNET SEARCH ON "ANAL BLEACHING"
About a year ago, I had Maaco do a really sweet olive drab repaint on my 1948 Willys Jeep. Recently I noticed that the rear panel had some sun damage (I live in south FloriDUH). I did a search on "panel bleaching out" and I don't know what happened (mistype? auto-complete?), but when the search results came back it was
FILLED with advertisements for creams and clinics that will (I swear I am not making this up), bleach your anus.
Look, what people do in the privacy of their own homes is none of my concern as long as it doesn't involve killing unborn children or same-sex relations. You want to go to Hell, hey, knock yourself out.
It turns out that this procedure has been popular among porn stars for years, but now regular people are doing it. Why? To make their anus more attractive.
As crazy as it sounds, many heterosexual couples use the "doggy style" position, which involves the woman on all fours with her rear end in the air, and the man mounts her from behind. As an Ex-Gay© I knew this position was used by sodomites, but it never occurred to me that married folks would do it. Crazy world, huh?
Anyway, some women got self-conscious because they knew that their poopy-hole was right out there in the open and that it is an ugly thing. Brown and wrinkly and just yucky. So what do they do?
(note: non-offensive representation...not actual anuses)
What are the issues here? Basically you are spitting in the face of Jesus and letting Him know He did a bad job creating you. Hey, maybe you forgot this part:
(Genesis 1:27) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."
Or this:
(1 Corinthians 6:19) "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"
Etc., etc.
At some point, the husband is going to look down there and think, Hey, that looks kind of like
Amanda Seyfried's lips and
*POP!* he's a sodomite.
Jesus made poopy holes ugly because they are used for getting rid of bodily wastes. Think about that for a minute: you are trying to put lipstick on a sewer grate.
Lesson? DO NOT BLEACH YOUR ANUS.
Yours in Christ,
Zech