This evening I sat down in my favorite easy chair to re-read one of my favorite Bible stories ever, the story of GOD showering down a rain of fire onto the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.
The only decent folks in town were Lot and his family, whom GOD sent two angels to rescue from the cities before their imminent destruction.
The rest of the townsfolk were so perverted that they actually wanted to defile GOD's angels!
Lot, being a righteous man, would not have the rectums of these delightful strangers ravaged by the mob of queers attempting to beat down his front door, and instead offered his daughters up to be raped.
Ungrateful as ever, the gays refused Lot's offering and just before they could begin raping them, the angels blinded the gays and Lot and his family made their escape!
Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by fire from Heaven, and Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt for looking back.
At first I thought that Lot might be upset by the fact that his wife was now little more than an over-sized block of licking salt for the camels, but then I saw that GOD had an even greater plan for him.
Not long after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, the Bible tells us in Genesis chapter 19 that Lot's daughters both got him drunk and had sex with him two nights in a row.
Their stated reason for doing this was that they wanted to continue their father's lineage. They were mere female offspring of Lot, and didn't really count as his lineage. Being good daughters, they wanted to have sex with their father to give him a son.
In a cave nestled somewhere among the mountains above the plain where Sodom and Gomorrah now lay in smoldering heaps and littered with the charred remains of countless homosexuals, Lot and his daughters had two full nights of drunken incestuous sex which resulted in both girls birthing children whose grandfather was their father, and GOD did not rain down so much as a single drop of sulfur on Lot or his daughters for their tryst.
The family values of the story are quite clear to all Christians: Homosexuality is worse than having drunken sex with your own daughter. Twice.