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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
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Gun Re: Explaining Creation to Children, Retards and Seniles - 03-08-2016, 04:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Beautiful pictures, I almost feel I am there in Heaven with Adam himself. One thing that puzzles me is that Adam does not appear to have any weapons. Perhaps he has left a pistol in the tall grass for self-protection, or for shooting lead into any animal he wishes to kill for his pleasure.
Dear Friend,

This is a question that undoubtedly puzzles also our children and quite a few of the more senile members of Jesus's Troops. We can disregard the retards with questions of this magnitude, however. So, here we go:

Dad (son in case of an OF), Why Did Adam Not Have a Gun?

Dear Child (OF: Revered Retired Person). I am sorry but Adam was not very bright. Nor was Eve. They couldn't do anything by themselves. God had to make clothes for them. They did not know how to sow nor how to go to a store. They were not too intelligent, because God Created them like that. God works in mysterious ways.

Genesis 3:21
Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

Adam and Eve were often like animals. They were like the dogs that are mounting each other all the time. The stork brought them two kids. At first they were a happy family:




The boys were not as stupid as Adam and Eve. Abel knew his way around sheep and Cain was a farmer. He worked very hard and had bulging muscles. He did double the toil and trouble as his brother.

Then Jesus intervened.




He showed mankind his preferences: A good altar has good sacrifice. Meat. This means killing. Abel killed some sheep and God liked it. Cain tried to make friends with Jesus with fruit and grain and cabbages and it did not work out.




Genesis 4:3-5
And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.


Cain rose to the occasion. He designed the first weapons and knew how to use them.

Genesis 4:8
And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.





This document shows that they were very good-looking boys. Cain had perfect sixpack because of all the toil and trouble and shoveling and seeding. Abel was OK but not as well-developed. Cain has absolutely no trouble wielding the weapon of choice, the mandible of a beast. Adam may have been a weak man but Cain was agile and of perfect physique.

Obviously, he had to go into Nod afterwards. Still, Jesus understood the necessity of this and overruled His own rule over killing (Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy 5:17; Matthew 5:21; Romans 13:9), pardoning Cain into exile. Cain taught us how to make weapons and use them.

This is a Winchester 1897. My favorite.




The End.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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