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Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
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Default Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! - 01-30-2011, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha View Post
Most Wise Brothers; we have never stoned witches in my small community, we have always burnt them. I believe some of the elders have been turning a blind eye as of late, as there have been no burnings for almost two years.

Many fond childhood memories are had at burnings. The cozy warmth of the fire, the smell of fat bubbling on the wood and children roasting chestnuts warm the heart of even the most stern parent.

The screaming and writhing of the condemned only lasts a short while and we drown out the unpleasant noise with hymns.

I long for the days of my youth when there was a burning every month.

It warms the cockles of my heart to reminisce.

God be with ye, good gentlemen.
While I a not 100% familiar with the laws of Missouri, I am almost positive you have committed murder, which is just awful. God tells us to obey the government's laws. (Romans 13:1-4) How could you do such a thing? We True Christians™ are trying to change the government's laws to LEGALIZE stoning SO THAT we may enact God's Laws. If you have murdered someone, we will be obligated to report you to the authorities. Now, can you explain what you meant?


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
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