[Youth Minister Harry]

As you all know, Satisfaction Saturdays are a weekly event where parents bring their boys who need correction to the prayer shack at the edge of town. Right there in front of God and everyone, the men of the town (and some stronger women) may exact Godly satisfaction from the wayward boys in any manner they please. Biblical law allows us to execute the boy if we please (Deuteronomy 21:18-21), but there are so many other things you can do to a boy that satisfies God again and again. In some cases, the parents will simply drop a boy off and leave him with my counselors to return the following week after we have taken all of the satisfaction I possibly can from him.

Never has anyone complained because God protects the True Christians™ of Freehold from atheist persecution (and because we don't have any complainers left in Freehold, do we Jedidiah?). Do we lose the occasional boy to Satisfaction Saturday? Of course we do. Sometimes a boy will lose faith and decide to die, or perhaps he will simply be called to Heaven by Jesus. We simply don't have any control over that. Yet, atheist liberals persecute us for living in God's Light and raising our Christian children the way God commands us to. Why? Because satan controls the atheists and he feeds their jealousy of our close personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

We cannot allow the liberals to continue to pass their persecution laws upon Christians. We must stand up to them! This election season, instead of participating in their secular polling, do something even more powerful than voting. Stay home and PRAY! Let's PRAY our way into the Whitehouse and into Congress and into the Senate and into every facet of government until we return America back to its Christian roots! And if we can't pray our way in, let's buy our way in. There is a way, and that way is through Christ Jesus!