Brother Cranky, the trouble with Portal is much more serious than most people suspect. It may have started out as just another
ass-sucking simulator, but many people have been caught up in cult-like behavior by worshiping the 'companion cube'. No one has ever seen this companion, yet it guides every player?
People would have you think that the 'companion' is a benevolent angel but the truth is much more sinister. This little box is going to steal your child's heart and turn him into a lonely spinster:
How are these kids ever going to get a date if they spend all of their time playing portal and worshiping this cube?
People are even going against Leviticus 19:28 and dooming their souls to hell by getting companion tattoos to show their dedication to this idol:
If this girl ever manages to get married, do you think her husband is going to want to look at
THAT every time he has to have sex with her?
Little children are begging their moms for Weighted Companion Cube cakes:
Even though it is well known that the cake is a lie:
Here is someone getting raped by a Companion Cube and a portal:
People don't need to be distracting themselves with this game, they need to be reading the Holy Bible and praising Jesus. He is The Way and The Light! PRAISE!