Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
Thank you for your advice, brother.
I have been praying on the matter, and GOD is telling me that I would be a lot happier without testicles.
I admire the courage of True Christian eunuchs like Born Again Bob and the brilliant Professor Bessemer.
I'm going to get in touch with them about a True Christian surgeon, or perhaps a True Christian faith healer who can pray my testicles away.
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Brother Fore,
As a 100% straight, cured Ex-Gay© True Christian™ Doctor of Scientheism, I can say with certainty that whichever of these Biblically correct options you choose, it will be the correct path. The Lord righteously chose to take my genitals during my Ex-Gay© therapy, I had no choice in the matter. He, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, smote me with the necrotizing fasciitis in my crotch to show me just how much my former life as a disgusting sodomite had displeased Him.
And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;
Colossians 2:13-14
You are currently a saved True Christian™, therefore all of your choices will be Biblically correct. You walk in perfection with Jesus, you cannot make an incorrect decision. Therefore, if you choose to sell your wife, God will smile upon you. If you choose to castrate yourself, The Lord will bless you and your righteous choice.
Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the Lord.
Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.
They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways.
Psalm 119:1-3
Now, as to which of these options I would recommend, I think that should be obvious. Having no genitals whatsoever is wonderful! My clothes fit better, I never need to adjust myself before I sit down, hygiene is a breeze, I could go on and on! If you choose to keep your penis to more easily facilitate urination, I would wager to guess you would later regret that decision. My rerouted urethra handles the discharging of liquid waste just fine.