Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
I scooped up what I could and Abigail happily received it (although that was a bit of an awkward chore)
|
Your attendance to doctrine is commendable. We are truly a righteous congregation. I have found it helpful to keep a few mid-size turkey basters in the bedside table. Untold millions of precious sperm children have been sent on their way to my wife's womb in this fashion.
Sometimes during our our annual lovemaking/conception session, seed will spill to the side of the womb. The basters are great for sucking it up and putting the seed where it belongs. One year, I couldn't maintain an erection at all with my wife, so I printed out some pictures of Ronald Reagan, listened to a few of his greatest speeches, and conceived directly into the turkey baster while watching footage of the Berlin Wall tumbling down like the walls of Jericho. I rushed over to my waiting wife, and filled her womb with enough seed to glaze a 12-lb hen. Nine months later, the LORD blessed us with young Malachi. The trick is to get it in there before it has a chance to cool off.
In Christ.