Quote:
Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner
Welcome. I do not know if this is the correct forum for this post.
Hello, I would like to share with you a personal story of mine. This will be the first time I have opened myself up like this.
When I was a young sinner, I had acne on my face. Acne is a disgusting disease that made me lose my self confidence and friends. I visited the doctors on multiple occasions to try and find treatment for my acne and give me my confidence back so I could begin courting girls . My dermatologist suggested that my acne was caused by a mixture of "hormones" and "DNA" and that I was simply not reacting to the treatments she gave (because of some rubbish about chemicals).
YEAH RIGHT! (I hear you say!) How convenient my body was "not reacting".
As I grew older, I grew wiser, and I started just recently becoming a full Christian like yourselves. Also as I grew older, my acne started to get milder, and just recently after I joined God's favourite website my acne has almost completely cleared up. A strange coincidence, don't you think?
Here is a graph proving my findings:
So what am I saying here? I am proposing that my acne was directly caused by my sinning and was God's way of PUNISHING me, and all this mumbo jumbo about "hormones" was the Devil trying to keep me from finding out the truth. My young lustful ungodly thoughts about having sex with women caused me to be diseased, and my suspicions are mirrored in the KJV:
Exodus 9:8–9
And the LORD said unto Moses and unto Aaron, Take to you handfuls of ashes of the furnace, and let Moses sprinkle it toward the heaven in the sight of Pharaoh.
And it shall become small dust in all the land of Egypt, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the land of Egypt.
If I leave you with one thing here, it is that acne is the mark of the devil and that you should avoid anyone sporting it like the plague. It is no coincidence acne shows itself in devils red. Also, never trust dermatologists.
Here is an example of some unsaved spawn:
Thank you for reading,
Your Friend, Christopher.
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Dear friend
First of all I want to congratulate you of becoming a True Christian™. I must say that is is well deserved since you are as wise as you truthful to our Lord.
I am very impressed with the amount and quality of scientific evidence you have given for the positive correlation between being a Christian and healing acne. The "scientists" say that the existence of God can not be proven scientifically, and yet you have just done it. This must indeed send an earth quake through the evil halls of every university campus of the earth. Let's see if the lieberal biased media will write about it. I salute you brother