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Default Re: Praise Sweet Jesus....I was Born Again....Again! - 09-07-2010, 09:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
My fellow brothers and sisters,

Praise Jesus for allowing me to be here tonight posting on this here forum! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!

I feel it is proper to introduce myself. I am the Rev. Jim Osborne. You all know me right? Well, in case some of you are under the age of 25, you might remember me from PTL's "Rev. Jim's Wealth and Health Gospel Hour" in the 1980's. I was a successful televangelist. I saved millions of confused souls around the globe and showed them that Jesus wants everybody to have Wealth and Health. I used the gifts of the Lord to witness to the unsaved. I brought prosperity to my faithful television congregation. Uh....NO..you are a parasite who feeds off those people who are looking for hope in a dark and fallen world. You have managed to deceive those poor people who have put their "faith" in a person like you who is an expert in deceit.

The Lord had blessed me with me with the sweet life. A sprawling mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean, a beautiful wife, and a fleet of high-end European luxury automobiles. It was the Lord's way of giving thanks back to me for preaching his Word. Incredible that you can sit back and brag about what you have scammed from people who work hard and send you money so that you can live this lavish lifestyle...you have no shame in that you use Gods name to filter this lie to others...you have scammed Gods people to let you live a life filled with riches. Remember the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus,,,soon to be renamed Jim Osborne and the imporverished people who trusted a charleton.

It all came to a crashing halt in the fall of 1989, when the Fox TV show "A Current Affair" with Maury Povich televised a brutal exposé on my sins. I was embezzling tithes and church dollars to finance my Rolls-Royce obsession and $10,000 a night 5-star hotel stays in exotic locales. It wasn't long before seedy photographs surfaced of me in a compromising position with a Thai transsexual prostitute. What a great rich history you have sown.

I pleaded on camera for forgiveness. I admitted I sinned. But, the Justice Department filed charges on me for various crimes such as embezzlement, fraud, racketeering, and pandering. I spent the next 15 years in a Federal penitentiary. Isn't this where you received more of your training in how to rip off people? I am guessing you graduated from the penitentiary with honors?

That is when I re-dedicated myself to the Lord Jesus Christ and became born again...again. Upon release, I swore to our Lord, myself, and all those I love that I will be a better person. I am truly sorry for all the sins I have committed in the past. As opposed to all the sins you are now a part of...

Now, I am re-establishing my televangelist career. I appear around 3:00 am on weekends on public access, using a rented studio, preaching to the unsaved. I use myself as an example of a wonderful human being who could not resist temptation and turn to sin. Nope, you're just a better con man now who is able to swindle peoples money with a more pious attitude.

I now turn to you, my dear Landover Baptist Church. I am no longer the hypocritical, greedy, scheming, duplicitous, conniving scoundrel that I was. I am simply a humble man, bowing before God, asking for forgiveness.

PRAISE JESUS that I am outside of bars, back into the real world!!! PRAISE SWEET JESUS!!!
Nice try there Jimmy....you're just a better hypocrite now who has studied at one of the Federal Institutions on how to get rich off the backs of those people who are looking for hope and you sell them on a "bait and switch" scheme to help you get rich again. They want hope and you use yourself as a mediator to get them riches. Remember what the Rich Man asked Jesus about gaining eternal life,,,how he had kept all of the law and Jesus told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor? Remember that one Jimmy? If you want to be credible then do what Jesus told that man to do...the Rich Man couldnt do it because he was very rich and walked away very sorrowful. Do you want to show your followers that you are different...can you sell all that you have to prove to your followers you can give it all away? My guess is a Big Fat NO! Why? Because you are a fraud is a wolf in sheeps clothing. Enjoy it all now Jimmy cuz you dont have long to enjoy all these riches...when this life is over and Eternity starts you're going to be spending a lot of time with romantic walks with the Devil on his own private beach on Devils Island. Tic Toc Jimmy....times are getting shorter for ya. Tell Jan and Paul there is a lot of room on that beach for all of you and get some heat proof sandals and thongs...and tons of lotion that is like SPF 1000.
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