I was gone since April and in August someone finally noticed my absence?
What part of Matthew 25:43 did you not understand? I mean, in the Filipino prison where I was wrongfully incarcerated the only person who came to see me was that local cat lick priest and I know that he was mostly interested in my good looks and my rectum.* Am I supposed to think that he was my only disciple left? What were you guys thinking?
And, Mayor, the damage on my properties is such that the usual division of tithes (90%-10%) is going to be >99% for the church and the reparation of the damages until the mansion is in better shape than when I left!
And, Bathfire! After being released (no thanks to you lot) I walked the land and had my visions. Things are bad and I expect that nobody under the age of 14-15 is going to repent enough to feel the breeze of the rapture on the Heaven's side. What happened to the rest of my visions? You know very well that I emailed them to you from various places for safekeeping but can't see them anywhere on the Forum!
Needless to ask, if you bought the jet already! How am I supposed to help Jesus without proper transport?
*Of course that priest is now a True Christian™ pastor spreading our message on the Philippines. Do I really have to do everything over here? Praise Jesus, this gave us some good connections and we'll never run out of new 14-yo Filipino houseboys now. I hope this new bunch can fix the damage that Faith Machine did to my hedge and it's gonna take some extra tithes from him to fix his butt if I get hold of him.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)