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Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Default Re: Freehold Initiative To Increase Death Bed Conversions - 06-07-2012, 11:50 PM

I scored a death bed conversion just the other day in Des Moines, brethren. An eight year old child on life support. I told him that he would burn in Hell for all eternity if He didn't believe what I said. I told him his Lutheran parents were predestined by God for eternal damnation, that all of his friends from church would burn in the Lake of Fire.

But not him! He was special. He would meet God and Jesus and Christopher Hitchens and Charles Darwin and every other saved person in Heaven, and all his desires would be fulfilled instantaneously for all eternity!

He cried and he cried as I left the room. He must have felt so lucky to be saved at the last second like that.

He died later that day. I asked the nurse who the last visitor to see him was. It was me. So he died believing the Good News: that he would not have to burn in Hell alongside all of his filthy friends and loved ones! And his unsaved parents never got the chance to corrupt their saved son before he was whisked up to Heaven. Praise Jesus!

I am so thankful that the last thoughts of this special child were of Jesus and salvation. I'm sure he will thank me when I follow in his footsteps.


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