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The Lord's Sword The Lord's Sword is offline
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Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-03-2012, 01:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I suspect that's because Google is run by Northern California limousine liberals who routinely block search results that might be helpful to our Godly cause.

HandzOff is really a wonderful product: When applied to one's genitals, it has an immediate anesthetic effect, causing the area to become as numb as if you'd injected it with Novocaine. However, if you then rub that area with any amount of vigor, the HandzOff cream rapidly breaks down, releasing a powerful capsaicin-based compound that will make your p**** feel like it got to Hell ahead of you, and is already burning.
After my morning shower, during which I wash my nether regions with a modified back scratcher to avoid any lustful desires from entering my thoughts, I apply HandzOff brand genital anesthetic liberally to my genitals. The instructions say:
Quote:
Squeeze a quarter size amount of Handzoff brand genital anesthetic into your palm and apply to genitals. CAUTION: Wear gloves to avoid hands from numbing.
I didn't wear gloves on my first application and the result was pillow biters trying to sway me from the Lord all day.



Exodus 21:20-21

20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
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