Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser
Oooo boy Nasa is getting pretty desperate. They say the below is an actual image from Mars...please.
That is obviously just outside of Las Vegas (and they couldn't even get the instagram settings right ).
|
LOL, Brother JC. For $2.58 billion, that's the best photo NASA could get? Hah! Even my crappy camera phone takes better pictures than that. Well, you know the old expression, "Close enough for guvmint work."
I think it's obvious what the solution is: privatize NASA. My company would gladly buy up Cape Canaveral and turn it into a Disney-style amusement park. We've already got a prototype for the space shuttle ride:
We'd have a paintball combat area where you can shoot aliens. The adjacent fast food restaurant would serve up "alien burgers." And of course, there'd be alien-themed drink vending machines:
And you can rest assured that we wouldn't forget the adults. We've got big plans for an all-night alien-themed titty club, with a massage parlor in the back:
Family values on Mars
Our factories in China could churn out a steady stream of alien crap souvenirs in no time. That stuff has fantastic mark-up - a T-shirt we manufacture for less than 50 cents easily sells for $15!
But I tell ya'll, what irks me most about NASA are those lame "Martian robots" they came up with. I mean all those things do is drive around (at super-slow speed), snap bad-quality photos, dig through the dirt. Jesus H Christ, you'd think that they would at least mount some cool weapons on these things! Now if my company had designed these machines, I can assure you that they'd look much different:
Well, I think it's fair to say that my company's vision for the space program is far closer to mainstream American values than a socialist organization like NASA (which can't even turn a profit!). Hells bells, with prime Florida real estate and all that free publicity, they should be raking it in. Fortunately, when Romney becomes president, he'll be privatizing whatever's left of the guvmint. Then at long last, Americans will get the space program that they truly deserve!