[Santa Claus]

Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un

I did not know Santa believed the imperialist propaganda in the lamestream media. There are no mindless executions or death camps here. There is no proof of such things! Please visit Koryotours and see how glorious Korea is for yourself, it is not a bad place, yes there is famine in some parts but that is because of imperialist U.S. sanctions. I do not want my people to fear me, I just want them to have a good quality of life and to care for one-another. Lovely talking to you.

Dear Un,

Some people think that I am imaginary or that Jesus is, but at least I see the world as it is, but you live in an imaginary world. This apparently includes your body image.

Just use the fat camp gift profitably and next year you might get a nice box of Belgian chocolates!