Thread: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved!
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Default Re: True Christians™: Share your testimony with the unsaved! - 07-22-2012, 07:08 PM
My Testimony
-Jed Oglethorpe

I was an effeminate young man who left a broken home at 18 to "find myself" on the midwest truck stop circuit. Quickly gaining notoriety as the I-35 "power bottom" with the hungriest butt, I began turning tricks and appearing in low-budget gay porn films under the screen name "Stretch." My chosen career path required me to inject muscle relaxants and anesthetics directly into my sphincter so that I could accommodate the sizeable objects being inserted into my rectum on a daily basis.

Then one day there was a loud 'POP' and I lost consciousness. I awoke alone in the bathroom of the trailer in a pool of blood, feces and yellow bile, unable to get back on my feet. I had blown out my O-ring. I had hit rock bottom. It was then that I looked up, and the LORD made His face to shine upon me.



The stain on the wall next to the toilet was surely a sign from the LORD of hosts. On October 16, 1998, at 2:34 in the afternoon, I gave my life over to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal LORD and Savior, and I have never looked back. I called up the first Independent Baptist Church I found in the phonebook, and one of the younger Pastors from Landover came to pick me up and get me enrolled in their Ex-Gay treatment program. Today, I am a happily married True Christian™ with a wife and five sons, walking upright in righteousness and perfection.

When I join Jesus in Heaven, my new glorified body will be restored (Isaiah 35:3-5). However, I will have to wear diapers as long as I still live in this earthly body because the decisions I made before entering into a personal relationship with Christ resulted in a prolapsed rectum. As a newly minted Ex-Gay©, I would often yearn for a ham-sized, hairy-knuckled fist buried arm-deep into my rectum. Then I would reflect on the following verse of Scripture.

II Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

These days, I realize that the most febrile and frenzied anal pounding pales in comparison to the fulfillment I get from Jesus. I pray that all homofags will come to realize what I have: The satisfaction afforded by having your anus filled with strange men's semen is nothing compared to the sense of peace and joy afforded by having your heart filled with Christ's love.

II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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