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ZOMGITSANATHEIST ZOMGITSANATHEIST is offline
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ZOMGITSANATHEIST is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!! - 04-17-2011, 03:39 AM

first of all, i registered just to post on this thread. don't consider yourself lucky.

i've seen this site before (gay sex with jar-jar binks, anyone?) and nothing has made me more angry than the blatant disregard for facts that this guy is expelling out of his fingers.

first of all, sex isn't mentioned in the first portal at all. surprising, i know. everyone is sex crazed, except you loving, caring christians. /sarcasm
the portals are in no way connected to anal sex. the companion cube is a cube in one of the last levels (i forget) and it is used to one, turn you against GLaDDOS (the main antagonizer) but it is also used for the completion of the level.

secondly, the portal itself is a valid scientific theory upon which the game series 'Portal' is based upon.

thirdly, stealing credit card information? are you serious? oh, wait. you're basing your information on one source again, aren't you? (bible)

i consider Valve to be the average, greed-riden Conglomerate just like any other company. however, i, personally, have purchased over $500 worth of games via Steam (direct-download client by Valve) and my info hasn't been stolen. i haven't been getting bills for useless garbage (jar-jar sex toy, bible. har har har)



making ridiculous claims that you have no information backing them could be taken slanderous. (VALVE MADE A GAME ABOUT ANAL BUTTSECKS)

look, i understand that being a christian automatically makes you unable to think for yourself, so i understand why you need to justify taking everything out of context, and backing them with even more outrageous claims is not only ignorant, but it;'s completely unjustifiable.

'Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.'
again, i can understand this coming from someone that hears Portal and automatically thinks 'ANAL SEX OH MY GOD THE CHILDREN'. let me take a step back. as toward that sentence, let's imagine that god exists, for a moment. would you not consider your computer to be 'techno-magical mumbo-jumbo'?

think about it.

"Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!"

let's break that down, shall we?

Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts.

expecting there to be only one source of information can be considered to be considered brain washing (again, bible)

Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create!

<cough> black holes <cough> dinosaurs <cough> internet <cough>

Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!"

riiiight. obvious troll is obvious? ignorance or trolling, you tell me.


Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.


Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone.

pretty sure masturbation existed before portal. j/s


This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.

>fair and balanced
fair and balanced? coming from you?

>masturbate like wild kangaroos
kangaroos do not experience pleasure while having sex (pretty sure) and if they did, their arms aren't long enough. never have i, nor anyone seen a kangaroo masturbate

Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game.


i can understand the lying part, however, GLaDDOS is, after-all, considered to be the evil character in the portal series. would you not expect satan to lie? would you not expect satan to give you a 'christian pie' as you put it?

no, GLAaDDOS is not satan. but she is the vital counter-part of the story. without a story, there isn't point to anything media related. bible included.

/rant

also, in case you feel the need to delete my post, i'm screen-capping it and posting it to the wall of my parents' basement, where I live at age 36 with my gerbil/ love companion "Han Solo". enjoy your aids.

oh. my name means ZOMG IT'S AN ATHEIST.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-21-2013 at 02:05 PM. Reason: Spelling.
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