[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Originally Posted by Drizzle

Edit: According to modern science and biology (not fairy tales), masturbation is completely natural.

Nonsense! God hates modern science and biology. If He thought that they had any validity, He would have put them in the 1611 KJV Bible. Based on the passages that Brother Jonsson presented, it is clear that in the eyes of God, masturbation is not natural and is a sinful abomination. Do you honestly think we should not go by the laws of the Creater of the Universe™, rather than by secular science whom He hates?

Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar. (Proverbs 30:6)

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.(Deuteronomy 4:2)

What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it. (Deuteronomy 12:32)

I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel:
Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.
But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.
As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.
For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ (Galatians 1:6-12)



Anyways, brother, it seems as if your only option is to cut off your son's hands and/or tallywhacker.

Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. (Matthew 18:8-9)


And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire: (Mark 9:43-47)