There are lots of things Jesus needs women to do
Like cooking, cleaning and making soldiers for God
And in between the time I spend learning to eschew
Sinful behavior, and time spent getting the rod
My favorite thing to do is to take some time
To warm up the oven and bake a nice, juicy pie
And to it serve to my Christian brothers
It could be cherry, blueberry, apple or key lime
So long as its moist and makes a man sigh
With delight that he could not get from any others
The crust should be flaky and crisp, not soggy and damp
The filling warm and fresh, not lukewarm or old
The mark of a True Christian™ lady and not of a tramp
Is taking the time to make sure your pie is a sight to behold
I can't think of anyone Jesus would rather me be
Than a woman who puts so much care in her sweets
That when a man starts eating
It makes me shout with glee
"Praise Jesus! Thank God you've taken me off of the streets!"
And THAT is why I enjoy nothing more than treating
A man with my pie
I think you can see why
