Re: Can my soul be saved? -
04-11-2010, 02:36 PM
Okay, friend. I'll tell you a little secret.
You know what's a "turn on" to a Christian woman? You holding a KJV 1611 Bible and reading from it. That way, she will know that you are a man who will take care of her properly and that - by extension - SHE will go to Heaven too.
Can you upload a picture of yourself holding a Bible.
Please keep your shirt on, though. It's difficult for me to fight the urge. Looking at your pictures makes me feel hungry. It makes me feel things in my stomach my wife hasn't let me feel in a long time.
I really want to eat a sandwich right now, you're so skinny!
My wife is doing the dishes. I can't ask her to make a sandwich, or the silly girl will just spill soap all over it.
Now I MUST MAKE MY OWN SANDWICH
I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen
Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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